The woods are lovely dark and deep

having friends is important because otherwise you’ll stay convinced your parents are normal

Item: majestic-ass biscuit, although I dunno how majestic it’s gonna be for $4.99

as a writer you will have a specific deck of vocab words you like using a lot and when you read other peoples' work you will see a very clear spread of different vocab words on their end. this is why you need to read, to collect other writers' words like it's a card game

omg if i was an oracle i would be LYYYYYINGGGG

Update; my fluffy 25 pound dickhead of a Maine coon mix Disapproves Strongly of the child locks on the food door. Loudly. Is now attempting to figure out how to work a child lock with his enormous crime paws.

weirdest part of being an adult is the fact that you can put off watching a movie for nearly a decade and barely notice

"you don't know what you have until you lose it" works for things that suck too btw. sometimes you need to experience life without something for a while to realise oh damn that was some bullshit

She took my fucking mind palace, I'm thinking out of my mind car now.

If you were really my friend you’d do this highly unethical experimental surgery on me