Neurotale

Aweful thing about adhd is the sheer emptiness when you havent done anything for a while that gets the dopamine flowing. Its not numbness like depression, it’s pure emptiness.

From my experience, it seems to be more common in people with more inattentive symptoms and the more severe the symptoms, the more empty you feel.

The emptiness is probably the worst things I’ve ever felt; at my worst I have found myself wishing I was heartbroken or that my depression was back, just so the sheer emptiness would go away.

I’m usually quite optimistic so you can see from my words how much I hate it. My suicidal idealization stemmed from this feeling when I was a teen. 

I know that isn’t possible for everyone - that’s okay. There are many of us out there that are willing to share the things that we have learned that work for us (or don’t).

- You have to shower. You cannot shower. You are standing right in front of the shower. You want to shower. You cannot shower.

- The meeting begins. “Did everyone see the email?” There is a chorus of nodding heads. You nod, too. You think you may possibly have checked an email account before, on one single occasion, at some unknown time, probably in a past life.

- You are hungry. You have been hungry for three days now. The hunger has not spontaneously resolved itself. How inconvenient, you think. How rude.

- You depend on your planner/calendar. You loathe your planner/calendar. You can’t function without it. You live in constant fear of it. It’s an unhealthy relationship. You think you both should start seeing other people.

- There is a pile on your floor. It is a treasure trove, the Room of Requirement. It has everything. You look for something specific. It has nothing. There was never any pile.

- There’s been a change of plans, they say. You don’t understand. They repeat: “there’s been a change of plans.” You don’t understand. The mere suggestion causes a buzzing in your head that drowns out everything else. You don’t understand.

- You’re in class and you don’t understand the lecture. You look back at your past notes. You look at a calendar. You have not been to class in two weeks. You have no memory of this supposed time. Where did it go? Why did it leave?

It’s the first item on the damn list! 

my mum sent me this vid which demonstrates how to use a (usb) charger when ur power goes out, using a car usb plugin, charging cable,a pen spring, and a 9V battery

Does criticism really REALLY really upset you, to the point that you get upset and consider walking away from whatever the thing you were criticized for was?

More Adult ADHD symptoms that people don’t know:

“Hyperactivity” can include chattiness, or an obsessive focus on one topic that you’ll happily go on about for hours in a conversation with *anyone* at the slightest provocation (last week someone brought up pockets in women’s clothing near the end of a small-group workout session and I may have spent the rest of the session giving an impromptu lecture about pockets while doing hammer curls)

Zoning out and staring off into space because you’re thinking really hard about something and then not noticing that people are talking to you

Hyperfocus is a symptom of ADHD. There’s this pervasive myth that folks with ADHD can’t pay attention but sometimes the problem is you can’t leave something alone.

Random impulsive shopping sprees that leave you wracked with guilt can be part of ADHD

Interrupting or talking over other people

P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N (because you can’t feel bad about failing a project that never gets started)

Worrying that you’re going to get fired every time your boss wants to speak to you privately (this is a sign of rejection sensitive dysphoria and emotional hyperarousal)

Super common symptom: Left/right confusion.

FWIW I’m enby and fall heavily into the “looks like a woman” category and had trouble getting diagnosed even with ADHD. I’ve discussed autism with my doctors in the past because I’ve had so many people go “uh, hey, you might want to ask” and they’ve consistently done the “no, you’re too good at recognizing social cues and maintaining eye contact” thing (am I good at these things because I’m good at them or am I good at these things because I’ve learned to do them as a survival skill after years of bullying because I was the weird kid who couldn’t act right? It’s hard to tell). I’ve heard a lot of people discussing the fact that adult women have trouble getting diagnosed, especially if they’ve been masking a long time.