smoking chronic in the sistine chapel

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

every now and then i am reminded of nintendo's official solution to the wii u pro controller not having gyro controls and it never fails to send me into hysterics

i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy

me when i fucking GET you

I have never, and will never, use "ofc" to mean "of fucking course". It literally stands for OF Course...

They missed. 😔

it’s funny how quickly you get desensitized to comic book nonsense like mister sinister is an insane name for a fictional character it’s so goofy but when i read his name i’m like this is not a laughing matter. we’re talking about cyclops’ traumatic secret laser beam eyeball orphanage surgery backstory. stop laughing.

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

my thing with ryan gosling is that he's handsome enough that I forget he can actually act until I periodically see a movie he's in every two or three years and I remember there's actually at least two reasons he gets consistent work. it's a delightful surprise every time, it's wonderful.

i'm begging everyone who missed it to please please please go watch Lars and the Real Girl

Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)