Nerd Questier

Me, sobbing:

"The 'God Made Trans People' billboard is stupid! God didn't make me! I'm an atheist!" Okay. The billboard sits along a major highway in Kansas. We can deduce that the target audience is not you—it's the centrist evangelical Christians driving along that road who could probably be persuaded to become allies as long as we choose our words carefully and don't make them feel attacked for not already knowing everything about trans rights issues. Another one I see a lot is, "We shouldn't be talking about how right-wing legislation catches [privileged in-group] in the crossfire when [marginalized out-group] suffers far more!" I know. I agree with you. Which is why you and I are not the intended audience of this argument!

The entire point of rhetoric is to win over someone who doesn't already fully agree with you. In this case, let's say that someone is Jennifer, the moderate center-right mom in your neighborhood who doesn't really know or care about transgender issues but would be absolutely horrified by the idea of her teenage daughter having to submit to an invasive inspection of her body just to be allowed to play soccer. Tell her, "Banning trans students from sports will inevitably subject all student athletes to invasive gender-policing," or "Legal restrictions on gender-affirming care will make it harder for you to access the hormone replacement therapy you take to treat menopause symptoms," and she is more likely to question her existing beliefs and listen to the rest of what you have to say than if you lead with leftist talking points that she already has a calcified opinion about or which she thinks do not personally affect her.

I made this series to share clear, no-BS info about abortion in a way that feels kind and easy to understand. Each post starts with a simple “Did you know?” fact — covering everything from how long a first-trimester procedure takes, to what recovery can look like, to the reminder that all kinds of people (not just women) have abortions. I wanted the tone to feel approachable and nonjudgmental, so I used soft, pastel rainbow colors and a clean layout to keep things gentle but informative.

"Did You Know? You can have an abortion at home with about 5 pills? Medication abortion is safe, effective, and FDA-approved.

Did You Know? It's actually easy to get pregnant again after an abortion? birth control options can be discussed at your visit - but the choice is always yours.

Did You Know? A first-trimester abortion takes about 5 minutes? It uses gentle suction to empty your uterus.

Did You Know? Sedation options can range from local to general anesthesia? You can choose what feels right for you.

Did You Know? Cramping and bleeding can last up to 6 weeks after an abortion? Or not at all - everyone's body is different.

Did You Know? Women aren't the only people who have abortions? Trans men, nonbinary people, and other gender-diverse folks can become pregnant and need abortion care, too.

Maddie is being distant and disapproving, keeping herself and Jee away from Theo, stressing at every opportunity that it’s only temporary, etc.

Meanwhile Eddie is being over-invested and defensive, putting himself right in the middle of it all and barking like a guard dog any time anyone tries to get near Buck or Theo, or to question anything Buck does, or to even suggest he might need their help.

Ultimately it’s because Maddie is terrified that Buck will be broken hearted if Theo’s grandma or whatever turns up and takes him away, so she’s trying to protect him by being cautious and careful with how far she connects with Theo, trying to model a safe route through a rough situation.

And Eddie is working through his own issues about both the way his parents made (make) him feel inadequate when he was (is) trying to care for Chris, and also his massive guilt about not being the supportive partner Shannon needed for those first few years, by making Buck feel like his decisions are good ones no matter what anyone says (including Buck when he questions himself or wants to ask for help from other people), and showing him that Eddie has his back.

So they’re both coming from a place of love and support, but they’re approaching it so differently that it creates tension and conflict between them, which makes everything worse.