what would YOU do for a spectacled bear

my dinner-centric world view

Guy who says “I’m contributing to traffic” instead of “I’m stuck in traffic”.

my hands hurt

my back hurts

I thought I could count but apparently I can't.

I should try a cartwheel

just woke up on the floor. what happened

mccoy doesn't have a chair on the bridge cuz he's the kinda guy who stands behind the couch to watch a whole 45 minute episode of something while insisting he doesn't need to sit down bc he's just checking out one scene. does this make sense

love how tumblr staff has time to censor words like “paint mixing” and “my face” and yet they can’t get rid of ssexsophie8127 thats been liking my posts from 2017

fuck you

i won

first rule of storing tupperware is have fun and be yourself. second suggestion is slam the cabinet door quickly and don’t worry ‘bout it.

"The middle class is not our enemy" yeah and the people you need to be convincing of that is the fucking middle class.

Sorry I fucking hate these condescending ass posts. How dare the poor get uppity at people. Meanwhile half of the middle class is voting to eradicate homeless people off the streets.

They're okaying means testing because of racism and are fine with anti-homeless architecture because homeless people are dirty and scary and want candidates who are "tough on crime" I really do mean it. The people you need to convince of that are the middle class.

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

the mythbusters once tested "herding cats" and at one point they brought in a proper trained herding dog and the poor dogs face when the first cat responds to his herding with swipes and aggression is to look at her human and go 😰 the sheep is broken?? what do i do boss??

[Image ID: Tumblr tags from greatAndHolyPangolin reading: this except often during lambing season you do get sheep fighting back when the dogs are too pushy, either mama sheep going Don't speak to me or my son ever Again, and giving the dog a solid headbutt, Or, In rare cases, a lamb will try to nip a dog and will find out that it works at deterring them and will lose all respect for the concept of sheepdogs, at that point we need to keep an eye on the lamb because if it continues to not have consequences it will become rogue and unherdable, in my family they're affectionately referred to as Sweetheart Darling Bastards (which I recently found out it a poem reference? Wow) /End ID]