I don't know what I was expecting

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

so i read this but the first time i read it, i missed a couple of key words, and i was just imagining the toddler walking around saying these things.

idiot jail for ignorant beasts

Sisyphus

one must imagine sisyphus ouppy

this is the first time in my life i thought oh i hope there’s music

at some point in being autistic it becomes really clear that everyone wants you to come up with solutions to problems you've never been helped with

i don't know how to fix our communicative problems, you're the source of it and it's exhausting to be treated as irrational for not responding correctly to small talk, do you think you could help a disabled bitch out and not put the onus of solving the problem on me, the one who is constantly excluded and treated as a freak

and then when you point this out they're like "but we literally put up with you, could you do something for us please?" and it's like. you put up with me?

if hiphop weren't real its existence would sound like an exceptionally heavy-handed metaphor about racism from a really cringe didactic fantasy novel. yeah the racialized underclass in this society, the one that's constantly derided by the ethnic majority as stupid and anti-intellectual, they have a complex artistic tradition based around improvisational poetry which is sometimes enacted on a competitive basis for dispute resolution. you get judged based on the subtlety of your wordplay and the complexity of your internal rhyme schemes. the dominant group periodically gets mad about how this doesn't count as real art like their own objectively more simplistic music and poetry because sometimes it has swears in it

And it isn't just a single artform, it's part of a philosophical tradition that links four accomplishments (Poetry, music, calligraphy and dance) and which uses these together to describe the practitioner's own history and the lineage of their teachers, to communicate in the present, and to tell archetypal stories which encode plans for the future.

does it mean a girl likes you if she builds a labyrinth around your house

Yes but in the way an entomologist likes a colorful beatle.

[nods] she wants to fuck it. bad.

Yeah man, this wizard sleepover is cozy. I just saw a guy gently clap his hands together and say "hot beverage conjuration" or something, and suddenly everyone was holding a perfect mug of their favorite warm drink in their hands. Nobody who was already sleeping even woke up, that's how cozy it is. I'm over here casting pillow and level 2 pyjamas. I think I just heard "power word: blanket fort" two groups over. I gotta get in there.

one sup of this will have you demanding the news

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears