that is exactly what ruben’s violence has done. even in his absence, everyone continues organizing themselves around him—anticipating him, contracting around wounds he opened years earlier, the past remaining not behind them but invasively, insistently present. he’s a specter lingering over everything.

which makes the placement on niall’s door so devastating, because this episode is about niall reaching—toward autonomy, toward a life expansive enough to finally contain honesty and desire. just away—far enough to exhale, far enough to start anew. and yet gadd frames his most private space with a novel about what total surveillance does to a person’s interiority and selfhood.

niall is trying to become someone. the poster is gadd telling you, in the most precise way possible, that big brother already got there first.

You love me, don't you? You love me? No caveats. Stick with the emotion. Describe it. Come on. Spell it out for me. Clearly, in a way I can understand.

I feel it everywhere. It sort of runs through me in a way. It's like… dangerous. It is the best and the worst thing all at once. It's like the only thing. It's the only thing I've ever felt. It's like I'm fucking… high off of you or something. Chemically dependent. I don't know.

Wishing you all a get more hairy and naked summer <3