kiana!

it's actually so funny that all you need to do as a female athlete to be immediately disqualified is being good, because everyone knows women suck ass at everything and if a woman is good at something that's unnatural. hashtag feminism hashtag protect women.

gender essentialism is soooo funny bc it's like "this is what women are like" and you're like "I've met women and many of them, if not the majority, have not been like that" and it's like "well women SHOULD be like that" and you're like "why should women be like that" and its like "because that's what women are like"

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.

The most beautiful phrase in the whole entire world. Is. What are they gonna do. Fire me?

i was nicer as a person before sports and its devil tendencies snaked its way into my personality 

The funniest thing you can add to any piece of media is a boy detective. Breaking Bad needed a 13 year old child who goes around looking for clues to the caper and whatnot.

Hank

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

some men want money and power i would like a woman to look at me like i’m dinner

i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy

personally my first guess as to how joker got his scars would be from smiling too big. but maybe that's my dreamer's heart

[new to sadism] I'm gonna hurt the blood out of you

[new to masochism] no 😦

she took my weewee in the divorce

joke i like to make when a baby is crying in public is “we’ve all been there.” We literally have

Honestly if we didn’t share the planet with funny little animals I would have fucking lost it years ago