dead inside,dad outside

Are you using Martian Wikipedia why does it specify "human settlement"

What if water didn't have surface tension and whenever you spilled some, the whole floor of your entire apartment was covered in a 2 micrometer deep puddle

you've taught me to count blessings I didn't know were mine

My good friend El Chupacabra got tickets to a Mountain Goats concert and I don’t think she knows and I don’t have the nerve to break her heart

[sits up suddenly in a cold sweat] what if my corpse doesn't rot

It will not bloom new flowers.

dude. don't say that.

i’m online and ready to look at a picture!

Devastating! Art museum gift shop doesn’t sell prints of specific and unpopular painting that struck a cord with you!

Did you guys know that the most recent version of sharks have fins that are kinda leg like and they like to walk up onto land?

no way i must have missed an update!

Thinking about him (the soldier in Poynter’s Faithful Until Death painting watching an apocalypse unfold around him with horror in his eyes as he tries to keep himself standing beneath a doorway, based on an actual 19th century archeological find of a man in full soldier’s garb under a doorway at Pompeii)

If Pikachu were real, it would not be a very pleasant animal. An enormous mouse that shocks you like an electric eel. I would run from these beasts