Christ, forgive these bones I've been hiding

a week later they're leaving a sponsor dinner in san fran so like 90 minute drive (california people sorrry if i'm wrong), and sam says "go before we leave" under his breath because he looked at google maps and there was a collision and traffic is fucked. he tells misa as much but mis insists he's fine and sam doesn't wanna harp in front of the guys so he just says "you’re gonna be a bitch in 20 minutes" to which misa says “you’re a bitch now"

sam lets it go because it's not like he can take mis over his knee (as much as i wish i just cannot see it but someone feel free to freakpill me) and that's his first mistake, letting it go, because the 101 is totally locked, nobody's moving. sam's drumming his fingers on the wheel and mike's sitting beside him getting quieter and quieter, sleeves stretched over his hands, and sam knows

he looks over and mis won’t look back and he says “you should’ve go-one" in that sing-songy voice he does and by the look in his face, mis is so obviously cranky but he just whines, "dickie stop itttt"

and sam wants to be a dick about. he loves to be a dick about it!! its literally in the name, and it would be so easy to be like wow, crazy how listening to me would’ve solved this, maybe next time listen when your genius best friend tell you to do something. but mike looks so miserable in that way where he’s past being fun to mess with. he’s uncomfortable and embarrassed and trying to sit perfectly still to lessen the pressure on his bladder and he keep doing tiny breaths through his nose and his eyes are all big and wet and angry, not quite crying but close enough that the sam softens, pretty much against his will

he's like “hey. you’re good" and mike shakes his head

“you are,” he insists, checking the google maps thing. “we’re like fifteen minutes out, you can hold it"

mike says he can't but it's so quiet sam could've missed it and he scrubs down his face with his hands like he's SO distressed. this is the universal sign for wanting to crawl out of your skin. and sam puts his hand on misa's thigh and goes "i know you can"

by the time they get back to sam’s apartment, mike is not speaking to him. just climbs out of the car all stiff and miserable and follows sam inside. he doesn't go tho, can't move, just stands in the entryway looking at sam like this is somehow his fault, which, ok maybe it is

sam says “bathroom’s right there" as if mike isn't in his apartment at least 30% of the time they aren't at the rink and mike grumbles at him to shut up but he doesn't move and sam FINALLY gets it. (good dog) he guides mike by his shoulders

mike's hands are like useless and sam has to reach around his waist and unzip his fly. "let's go" he coos because it's a team effort and mis is wobbly, so sam has to stand behind him like a board, and he has to untuck mis' dick from his boxers, he has to hold it otherwise misa will just make a big mess

mike finally lets himself go and his whole body relaxes, like all his muscles were coiled tight and now they're loosey goosey (if you will) and sam kisses him behind the ear and goes "next time, you listen" and mike nods, barely, pissed as hell, desperate and next thing his dick's kinda hard