i hauve a cold
cherry valley forever
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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shark vs the universe
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@natalanisha
i hauve a cold

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straight men have beauty standards for men that are completely different than the beauty standards women and gay men have for men and then they get mad when they conform to the beauty standards other podcast bros set for them and women still don’t find them attractive
while you were busy arguing about phrenology on Twitter, lamenting your weak jawline and making fun of dudes who don’t go to the gym, beautiful fat polyamorous men with nerdy personalities were busy snatching up the baddest bitches in your town. c’est la vie.
There's a tiktok trend called "hear me out cakes" where you print out pictures of characters and actors that you basically have to justify wanting to fuck before taping it on a tooth pick and put it on a cake.
Most of the men who do this challenge will pick the fish from Shark Tales, Nala from Lion King (this was the one he actually had to fight for his life over), Shego and actors slightly older than 30 there was one guy who had Korra was his hear me out.
Meanwhile the girls are fucking xenomorphs, mathematical equations, the concept of Vine, Bananas in Pajamas and the Peanut M&M. One girl sprayed another girl with a water bottle because she put Bowser on cake and he was too basic.
If the trend has taught me anything is that girls will fuck literally anything as long as it has a charming personality and a sardonic smile. If you can't convince a girl to fuck you when she's got a centaur from fallout on her smash cake it has nothing to do with not having a jawline or a six pack it's because you're an insufferable human being.
the fullmetal alchemist fandom is a pyramid scheme. someone lures you in with promises of excellent writing and animation to watch you cry to nina tucker and then you do it to someone else.
Facebook: we analysed your entire internet history, tracked your location and took a deep dive into your personal relationships, and we’ve decided to recommend you this specific conditioner that you also saw in your local Tesco two days ago, aint that neat!
Tumblr: HEY sHITHEAD *slurring words* how would you like to buy *throws dart* a gym membership for your *spins wheel* pARROT
a while back i read a post along the lines of “if you feel like everyone hates you, it’s time to rest… if you feel like you hate everyone else, it’s time to eat” and honest to god i’ve never used any piece of advice more than i have that one

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still emotional about Kuron tbh
Petition for fandom to start using the term “squick/squicky” again
This loosely translates as “there is no fundamental problem with this and I have no issue with the people who enjoy it but it makes me personally deeply uncomfortable”
“It’s not a trigger so I don’t want to appropriate that terminology; but I really don’t like it and don’t want to read/see/hear it.”
“it will not give me psychological distress but HOT DAMN I will die happy if I never see it again”
YES. BRING BACK SQUICK
So apparently in older versions of Voltron (don’t take my word for is, I’ve only heard secondhand and I can’t be bothered to research), the Lions came from another reality and were cast out for arrogance or something. But ignoring my clear lack source checking, I’ve always found the idea interesting.
The Lions were originally one 5-part inter-reality being that got kicked out and forced into a mortal form in a single reality. It explains some things, like how they’re overpowered, why they seem to operate on different rules from every other ship in canon, why Zarkon couldn’t just make another Voltron or Black Lion. They prompted Alfor to sculpt them into forms they found most familiar, but there was another curse that came with their physical forms: they could only act when bonded with a mortal in their new reality.
The first time, they chose the best. Kings and rulers, people with power and influence that fit the Lions’ sense of previous grandeur. The Lions were immortal beings with abilities beyond any mortal’s imagination. Surely only the most accomplished, the most competent could handle them.
So they chose the original paladins. Alfor, Trigel, Blaytz, Gyrgan. Zarkon. Great leaders who had the respect and admiration of billions. Surely these would make the greatest paladins.
And they did. For a time. But slowly, and then all at once, they fell apart. The Lions may be separate, but they were One. Voltron. They were meant to work together.
But somehow, the paladins didn’t get that. They separated the Lions for months, whole years at a time, attending to their separate duties and personal interests. They no longer worked as a unit, and worse they began treating the Lions as tools, ships to be picked up or locked away as it suited them.
But the Lions were bonded, and in these mortals they had discovered new kind of being, one that connected them to the mortal world in a way they simply couldn’t let got of anymore. They were…blinded by their bonds to the paladins.
Until they couldn’t be blind anymore. Until Black was forced to turn on her pride, her soul, and. She. Couldn’t. Stop. It.
Voltron shattered that day. The betrayal ran deep. Among all the Lions (how could their paladins turn them against each other?!), but especially in Black who never seemed the same after that.
They became weak, broken even, when they had never been so much as damaged before, and separated to be hidden from the paladin who had once lead them. And so they stayed, for ten thousand years.
The first time, the Lions chose the paladins who matched their strengths.
The second time, they chose those who match their weaknesses.
The new paladins are young, uncertain. They’re scared and isolated and lonely and longing for connection. They have none of the grander of the previous paladins; the planet the could from is practically primitive and quaint. There is strength inside of them, potential of the paladins they could be, but it’s buried under insecurities and trauma and the bumbling misdirection of youth.
But they bond. Faster and stronger than the original paladins ever did. They ask questions, learn from the Lions. Their minds spark with new ideas and with hope that is as potent as it is irrational.
And, most importantly, they are Pride. The Black Paladin is the leader, who claimed all of them with an immediate “Mine mine mine mine”, a mantra of love and protection. And the others get swept up, adding and growing it. There is a new element, one that was never part of Voltron before.
Loyalty.
One that’s born out of love, empathy, sheer determination. A pattern that is millennia deep in a species that has never stepped foot outside of its own galaxy. Something that these five in particular seem particularly strong in. Even the Black Paladin.
Especially the Black Paladin.
A new Voltron rises. The Lions teach their new paladins about flight and power and the ways to bend their reality in only ways a Lion of Voltron can.
The paladins in turn, teach the Lions what it means to be family.
They do not know it yet, but this new Voltron is going to be so very different, and so very much more powerful, than the one that came before.
Powerful enough, in fact, to free the universe.
why did shipping turn into a contest of “most accurate” or “most likely to be canon” why do i have to get a 40-slide powerpoint, three defense lawyers, a fortune teller, and a background check of myself and my whole immediate family to say i want two ppl to have sloppy makeouts in a car
Also: when did shipping turn into a ‘which relationship is the most healthiest in real life terms.’ I mean I ship people because I think their story is interesting, not to get relationship advice.
I ship people because I think their story is interesting, not to get relationship advice.
@housemarcellus
COVID is slowly becoming a "third world" disease. While first world countries are hoarding vaccines, having doses for populations many times their size, third world countries can't get any because pharma companies want to sell to the first world countries first. Even then, first world countries will receive them first. While rich countries recover from COVID, they will forget about the pandemic while many other countries live the absolute worst moment of the pandemic without being able to vaccinate their population.
Watch also when some first world countries finish vaccinating their populations, they will turn to third world countries and "donate" or sell surplus vaccines. People in these countries will go "Oh how sweet! The government is donating vaccines to the poorer countries <3" when it was their hoarding that led to many, many third world citizens dying before they could even get vaccinated in the first place.
african and latin american countries are also pushed by pfizer to give up sovereign assets as part of their vaccine agreement
Yo europeans, sign the fucking petition, get the european commission to lift the patents
Everyone deserves protection from COVID-19.
This is not a bullshit useless change dot org petition by the way this is an actual thing with legal consequences. If this petition gets to a million signatures, the european commission HAS to examine it.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Imma be up in the club, doing what(who)ever I like
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Easy Glazed Brown Sugar and Dijon Pork Loin
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Is this how you roll?
When you're writing and you suddenly realize you don't know what happens next
When you’re writing and you suddenly realise you DO know what happens next
When you’re writing and you realise you have to write what happens next
*weeps*
Hi everyone, I am fundraising for my grandmother that was racially attacked tod… John Chen needs your support for Help my grandmother recove
Just to note, she was the *second* person he went after that day. The first, an elderly Vietnamese man named Ngoc Pham, also has a gofundme for his medical bills.
Ngoc Pham, an 83 year old Vietnamese man, was shopping for grocerie… Community Youth Center of San Francisco CYCSF needs your support for Ng
me: *writes fic*
me: great! time to post to ao3-
ao3 summary box: *exists*
me:
ao3 summary box:
me:
ao3 summary box:
me:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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me, wearing nothing but a sheer plunge-neck ballgown that’s plastered to my skin from the rain, soaking wet and trembling with cold and fatigue as i stand outside the entrance to the castle: p-please help me ;) i’m s-so lost and s-scared ;) ;) i have no where to stay for the night ;) ;) ;)
the sexy vampire lady who answered the door, and to whom the castle belongs: of course ;) you poor thing ;) ;) come inside, you must be freezing… you may stay as long as you need to recover from your ordeal ;) ;) ;)
You walked up to that house in the rain on purpose
the fuck else would I be sloshing around in a wet ballgown for
I drew it…. & animated it…
drawing all those five was just a camouflage for drawing zukka in the background