everything works out for me 🍀🧿✨

@biggest-coolest-mantis

@biggest-coolest-mantis

don't forget sleeve garters and suspenders

Sleeve garters are just so you can keep your cuffs right where you want them, typically used professionally by people like bartenders, who are wearing dress shirts to do manual labor and don't want their cuffs brushing through spills when they are wiping down the bar etc... but also useful for keeping cuffs exactly the right length for your suit without having to tailor all your shirts, or, if you have several suit coats with slightly different length sleeves, you can always have your dress shirt's cuffs showing that perfect half inch below the suit sleeve or whatever the fashion is for the time

right now it's about 1/2 an inch, but that's the sort of thing, like tie length, that can change a little with fashion trends -- but basically, you never want your shirt cuffs to be doing this

Because that looks SO sloppy, right? Looks like you're wearing your father's shirt under your little brother's jacket

BUT! you do want the cuffs showing, like this

because it makes the suit sleeve look precise and on purpose, or you might push it and show even more if you are wearing nice cuff links

because this clearly still looks purposeful and precise, and shows off your jewelry.

often, fashion dictates taking any opportunity to show your layers -- for example in medieval europe it was fashionable to literally slash expensive outer garments so you could ALSO see some of the expensive clothing underneath, which is how before long you get "slashed" sleeve patterns like this becoming popular among the wealthy

(notice the roughly half inch of sleeve cuff showing at the bottom here as well)

Batfam head turn around

Full image under cut

despite being a child of the 80s whose parents, understandably, had no experiential basis for teaching internet safety, i knew internet safety. no real name, no real location, don't share your age more than a rough range if at all, etc. why did i know those things? because adults in my first fandom communities taught me and other kids who showed up in those forum and chat spaces. they moderated or deleted messages that shared too much, laid ground rules, shepherded us. i knew those people in community, not in isolation (another tip the forum babies were given).

when my parents tried to ban me from all fandom internet-- a thing that was 80% of my social experience, as a rural, autistic, homeschooled teenager-- i posted a farewell in the forum (after a whole day of angry crying and arguing). one sweet member of the forum was a 20-something mom with two toddlers, and she wrote a lovely letter for me to print for my parents explaining how the community was moderated and what a benefit it could be and offered her own email and phone number if they wanted to chat.

they didn't reach out to her, but that letter is why i was allowed to stay online. just having the offer and the explanation was enough to reassure my parents. i wasn't besties with this woman, just a casual friend in the same space, but we stayed in touch. i respected her and the advice she and other adults in that community gave and it kept me safe in other interactions going forward

i'm friends with many of the people from that community on facebook now. they're still friends with each other. that kind woman? i watched via internet as her kids graduated. she watched me get married and have my own kids.

one of my older friends in another fandom was in her thirties when i got my driver's license as a teen. she celebrated with me. she sent my oldest kids a baby shower box that contained blankets that became their special blankies they still have saved somewhere as teens.

those relationships have been some of the most important ones of my teen years. they were people who enjoyed fandom chats with me, but also invested in me as a PERSON and not just as a kid they were tolerating. in the right context of healthy friendship, their advice and perspective kept me safe and helped me grow.

+ bonus

keyhole effect in cinema