In the Library with the Lead Pipe

Claiming they had definitively identified the source of the ongoing surge in foodborne illness, Centers for Disease Control officials issued a statement Thursday linking the nation’s cyclosporiasis outbreak to an ancient evil corrupting the Seven Sacred Diarrhea Crystals. “After extensive laboratory testing and data analysis, our epidemiologists have determined that the current outbreak of cyclospora infections was caused by the dark sorcerer Valnos escaping from the Prism of Binding and subsequently plunging the sacred crystals that govern the flow of diarrhea through our lands into chaos and disharmony,” said acting CDC head Jay Bhattacharya, adding that residents in the states of Michigan and New York should avoid consuming bagged salads until Valnos’ corruption has been purged from the Sacred Diarrhea Crystals with the Blade of Destined Digestion.

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PBS and NPR were never beholden to the US government.

The Corporation for Public Broadcasting was created so that the US government could fund public media without public media being influenced by the government. It was a private non-profit funded by the government, not a part of the government itself. This is by design. This was a good thing. It meant that even small local TV and radio stations, could afford to create media for the public good, without government influence.

This meant TV and radio stations for poor communities. For non-english speaking communities. For rural communities. For minorities. It meant that free and accessible media could be created for everyone, even if the government didn't like it.

That's why conservatives defunded it.

Because if they couldn't control it, and if it helped the people they hated, then they would have to destroy it. Do you really think that a fascist government would defund their own propaganda machine?

Not only is the idea that PBS before being defunded was propaganda wrong, but ignores the fact that defunding it is going to have long-term negative effects on vulnerable communities.

The parasite is also resistant to chlorine, the primary disinfectant used in most municipal water and wastewater treatment systems.

Beatty says it’s likely that thousands more people around the country have been infected.

“This shows us how easily an organism can be distributed to one location within the United States to multiple locations pretty quickly through the networks that we have set up for food distribution,” he says. “This could end up being reported in all 50 states.”

The Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak Is About to Get Much Bigger

And then they could've been eating me!