The Five Love Languages (and how to show affection in each one!)
Each of us has one or two love languages, the special ways we prefer to be showered with affection. But keeping a partner's love language in mind can be tricky. So here are a list of the five love languages, and some tips on how to put them into practice with your main squeeze!
If your partner's love language is disembowelment, you probably already know it from the sweet way they run their fingers along your intestinal tract, or hold your heart in their hands—literally! For a disemboweler, a fine, keen knife of obsidian makes a gift they'll treasure. They'll also love little vials of your blood, or even just handwritten notes that say things like "you're the only one who gets to fondle my luscious entrails <3" You may also want to purchase more practical gifts, like bandages, disinfectant, and (just in case) formaldehyde.
Do you often find yourself in merciless rapier duels with your partner over matters of honor? Do they smile with malicious tenderness at you as they offer you a goblet full of inky liquid that might be wine (or might be something else)? Are they always tearing at their hair and weeping into their lacy cuffs while swearing that they will hunt you down and slay you if it's the last thing they do? Then your partner's love language is deadly vendettas! Deadly vendetta partners are very passionate and cunning, so they'll adore samples of exotic poisons, a picture of you to gaze at in ecstatic hatred, or even a fine, keen knife of obsidian to sweep slowly through the air as if practicing to slash your throat.
Partners often say that they feel like two halves of one whole. But maybe your partner feels like a lone half a being, raw and chill in the howling wind, and wants nothing more than to rejoin with their lost half in a searing love-clash that may destroy both of them. In that case, you've got an obsessive partner. Whether you two are linked by inexplicable forces or under the effects of a love-philtre, the obsessed lover is a fan of anything that smacks of chivalrous passion and suppressed yearning. Give them a lock of your hair, a handkerchief, perhaps even a glance that lingers a fraction of a second too long. Or, in the dead of night, after making tormented love, press into their hand a fine, keen knife of obsidian and whisper "if we are discovered, you know what you must do."
Blood and death and dangling, dripping guts are all well and good, but a partner can also be very receptive to simple, small acts that show you care about their well-being. These are acts of service, and they can be very powerful to the right partner. Try helping with chores around the house, or otherwise easing the burdens of everyday life for them. They may also appreciate you helping to locate something—like if they can't find their fine, keen knife of obsidian anywhere.
Night Pursuit Over the Moors
You already know this one! Practically everyone loves to pursue their beloved on foot over the deserted, moonlit moors. You can make this common practice even more exciting by donning a fine linen shift that gleams silver in the moon's eerie radiance, carrying a lantern, letting down your long raven-black tresses, and carrying with you the fine, keen knife of obsidian that is your secret weapon against your pursuer, and the instrument of their horrific death.
