Janette

“Circe’s tits!” You screeched as you hastily pulled up your towel to keep your modesty. “You didn’t think to alert me to your presence, Lupin?” You sneered half-heartedly at him as you tried to regain your composure.

“Sorry.” Remus chuckled, voice gravelly from a mixture of last night’s howling and tonight’s smoking. “My brain is moving a little slowly right now.”

You looked between him and the spliff and sighed. “Think you’ll be much longer?” You asked him quietly, cautiously, reticently. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen you look so dejected.

Slytherin princess; though you never really let that dictate how you treated people, just that it levelled you with a certain notoriety within the school. You were the only one who could talk sense into Barty Crouch Junior; Pandora Rosier’s biggest defender and advocate; Snape, Mulciber, and Avery’s biggest adversary; the one who encouraged Regulus Black to reach out to his estranged older brother; and the least likely to enact revenge on the Marauder’s for their pranks.

Though Remus had never shared more than a few words with you in passing, he knew a lot about you. In addition to the aforementioned qualities, you were a Pureblood, the eldest daughter and heiress to your family’s name and fortune, Prefect, received top marks in Charms and Transfiguration, and hated the Sacred Twenty-Eight.

Knowing all of that made Remus rather rueful that he hadn’t spoken to you before now.

“Listen, this tub is nearly the size of an Olympic swimming pool.” Remus started, causing you to furrow your brows in confusion. “It’s big.” He clarified. “I don’t mind...sharing if you wouldn’t be too uncomfortable; otherwise, I’ll pack up and leave it to you.”

He didn’t really want to leave; not whilst he was still nursing his post-moon hangover and the warm water was finally starting to relieve some of the tension in his bones. But you looked forlorn, and damn Remus and his bleeding heart, he’d give it up if you needed it.

“I don’t want to kick you out... you were here first.” You murmured, apparently weighing your options in your head.

“I will leave if you want, L/N, but I’m more than willing to share.”

You searched his eyes for what, Remus wasn’t sure, but you seemed to come to some decision. You threw your head back and let out a strangled groan which Remus was certain was more for dramatic effect than it was indicative of any real ire.

“Fine, turn around.”

Remus smirked at you and tried to ignore the protesting of his joints as he stood in the pool and turned to face the opposite wall, allowing you to drop the rest of your clothes and your towel and sink into the water.

“Okay...” You whispered quietly. “You can sit back down now; thank you.”

Perhaps it had begun then; he’d offered you a puff from his joint, causing you to move closer to him. He was a gentleman and avoided noticing the way your breasts sat high on your chest, buoyant in the bubbly and fragrant waters.

He ignored the feeling of your elbow brushing against his. He ignored the way your hair, damp from the steam and humidity, stuck against your skin. And he definitely ignored the way that as the weed started to affect you, you leaned your head onto his shoulder.

What he couldn’t ignore? When you asked him what you could do to help him.

“Help?” Remus asked you bemusedly, jostling his shoulder and forcing you to sit up and return his gaze.

“Yeah; you seem tense, stressed.”

Remus let out a confused chuckle from his nose. “That’s really not anything you need to worry about.”

You laughed back at him, nudging him with your elbow. “Lupin.” You chided. “You were willing to give up your private pool time, you’ve shared your weed with me, and you’ve let me intrude on your bath; let me worry about it.”

And he doesn’t know how you did it, he’s not even sure he remembers how the rest of the conversation went – one moment the two of you were sitting an entire swimming pool apart and pretending the other wasn’t there, and the next moment he was sitting on the edge of the pool with his hands tangled in your hair as you took him in your mouth.

“Christ, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He tried warning you, tapping your shoulder to get your attention.

Like the watery siren that you were, all you did was moan and take him deeper, and in another moment, he was spilling down your throat.

Remus was sure he looked absolutely wrecked; naked, soaking, exhausted, a few fresh wounds from last night, and his permanent eye bags a more dramatic purple today on account of his lack of sleep last night.

Not you though; somehow even though you’d just done all the work, you looked ethereal. Wet hair pooling in the water around you as you sunk into the suds up to your collarbones, your lips swollen and glistening from your fantastic work if you asked Remus, and eyes a mischievous magnet nearly luring Remus back into the pool completely against his will.

“Godric, you’re good at that.” He breathed embarrassingly. Thankfully, you only laughed at with him.

“I’m sure you meant that as a compliment, Lupin; but it sort of sounds like you’re calling me a whore.”

Remus cackled at that, thankful that his time in the water eased the soreness in his ribs before doing so.

“If you give me a few moments, I’ll return the favour dove.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You offered, moving back to the other side of the pool to retrieve the book you’d deserted in favour of pot, and then in favour of cock. “I’ll just take an I.O.U.”

Or maybe it started at the Ravenclaw afterparty following their win against Hufflepuff. You showed up with your friends fashionably late and clearly having pre-gamed to some extent if Barty’s uncoordinated movements were anything to go by.

He noticed you every once in a while, flitting around the party with various friends, dancing to various tunes, participating in various games over conversations; but something was different about you. You weren’t as...glowy.

Your smile never met your eyes, and your laughs weren’t carefree – not like they were in the tub. Not like they ought to be.

But hey, you helped him when he needed it, and he did technically owe you.

He brushed past you and gently pulled on your elbow as he continued moving. When you turned back to see what had happened, he nodded toward the exit.

He didn’t bother turning around to see if you were following him, he just carried on down the stairs of Ravenclaw tower before turning the corner to an empty corridor.

“Oi, Lupin; your legs are longer than mine. Slow down!” You called. 

He didn’t realise at that time how much it meant to him that you had followed; hindsight being 20/20, and all.

“Where are we going?” You queried as you caught up and walked in step with him.

“You’ll see.” He said simply, cutting across the hall and opening the door to an empty classroom.

“Going to teach me how to translate Ancient Runes, Lupin?” You joked, though your affect was clearly lacking.

“I’m going to help.” He responded simply, leaning backwards against the professor’s desk.

“Help?”

“Right.”

You smirked and raised a singular perfectly manicured eyebrow at him, looking him up and down with a suggestive glance.

“What exactly are you to help me with?”

“You seem worried, tense.” He repeated your exact words from the tub a little over a week ago.

You offered him a half smile that, once again, never met your eyes. “That’s not something you need to worry about.”

He offered you a soft smile in return. “I do owe you, though.”

Remus doesn’t know what it was that convinced you to accept his offer. One moment he was leaning casually against the professor’s desk as you watched him warily from the door to the classroom, and the next moment he had you splayed out on the desk before him with the skirt of your dress bunched up around your waist and his head between your legs.

Now, it’s important to note that Remus is a humble and modest person. In fact, he’s really quite self-conscious. He didn’t come from a notable family and compared to his friends he was basically a pauper, he was scarred and tall and lanky, and due to his lycanthropy, he avoided meaningful relationships; meaning that whilst his friends all enjoyed relationships and situationships, he stayed religiously single.

All that being said, there was something Remus knew to be true that he felt worth bragging about.

He was fucking good in bed.

So his ego was properly stroked when you threw your head back so hard that it made a painful whacking sound against the wood of the desk with just the first stripe of his tongue through your folds.

Like a man starved, he buried his face between your legs and hardly ever came back up for air. He pulled your hips flush to his chest with your legs thrown over his shoulders and his arms hugging your thighs that he used as earmuffs.

Remus could easily call this one of his new favourite places to be, especially with the sinful sounds escaping your mouth.

He used his thumb to tease your clit, thrusting his tongue in your hole a few times before bringing it back out to run through your lips.

“Oh, Merlin!” You cried, causing him to chuckle, which caused you to flinch slightly at the feeling of his cold breath against your cunt.

“Come now, L/N; you know that’s not my name.”

You let out another cry as he wasted no time diving back in, his nose rubbing at your clit as his tongue continued its assault.

Remus’ efforts were rewarded in the form of you cumming on his face and your body falling limp below him.

He allowed you to catch your breath as he fought to catch his own, ignoring his knees crying in protest from having spent the last however long supporting his weight on the hard stone floor.

“Oh gods.” You breathed finally, opening your eyes and stealing a shy glance at Remus, still stationed near your core.

He smiled wolfishly at you. “Better?”

You laughed; a real, hard laugh that had been missing from you all night. “Much.” You agreed readily, accepting his outstretched hand and sitting up on the edge of the desk and pushing your skirt back down to cover yourself. “Thank you, Lupin.”

Remus shrugged nonchalantly as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a snap of his fingers, pushing open a window with a flick of his wand. “What are friends for?”

You snorted inelegantly; a far cry from the proper Pureblood heiress you’d been raised to be as you pulled your panties back on and took careful, albeit slightly wobbly, steps to join him at the window.

“Are we friends now?”

“Were we not friends before?” He countered, offering you a drag from his smoke that you easily accepted. He was sure his lips, tongue, and now the end of his cigarette still tasted like you.

“I didn’t think your kind was supposed to be friends with mine.” You offered, not looking at him as you passed the cigarette back.

“Blood status, really L/N?”

You scoffed derisively. “Please, Lupin. Give me some credit.”

It seemed to Remus that you looked almost hurt at his insinuation.

“I meant Gryffindor’s and Slytherin’s.”

“Perhaps we can be the first.”

“Do many of your friends see you naked, Lupin?”

Remus grimaced at that. “Honestly? More than I’d like, yes.”

And there it was again, that uninhibited laugh. Remus felt vindicated in his task for this evening.

“Alright, friends then.” You agreed, reaching out for his cigarette and taking a long drag before returning it to him. “Let me know when you might need my help again, Lupin.”

“Likewise.”

And maybe it was the day that he had Avery pinned against the wall by the collar of his shirt for calling a first year Hufflepuff a Mudblood.

There was blood dripping from Remus’ nose onto the collar of his uniform shirt from an elbow to the face as he spat various threats promises of pain and maiming, when he felt a gentle hand on the small of his back.

Due to the tension radiating through Remus’ body considering how close it was to the moon, his first reaction was to throw an elbow behind him. He thanked every deity possible that you were shorter than him when you ducked expertly to dodge his assault.

“Let him go.” You said simply.

Remus felt his brows furrow as he let out a protesting grumble.

“McGonagall is coming.” You continued.

Remus looked from you back to Avery who was now smirking at him. If Remus left now, Avery would tell McGonagall what Remus did; if Remus stayed, he could tell McGonagall what Avery had said.

“He won’t say anything.” You argued - as if you had heard Remus’ internal conundrum - causing Avery’s face to fall and both boys to whip their heads to you.

“And why the bloody hell won’t I, L/N?” Avery spat.

Your eyes moved from Remus’ to Avery’s where they took on a horrifyingly cold quality, no doubt the result of your cold and indifferent parents raising you like a proper Pureblood heir.

“Because I know where you sleep.” You spat lowly.

Remus watched as Avery fought to remain defiant, but as he heard the sound of McGonagall’s footsteps approaching, let out a frustrated groan.

“Fine. Sod off.” He barked, pushing Remus away from him roughly and stalking off towards the Slytherin dungeons.

Remus angrily picked up his book bag and began stalking down the corridor in the opposite way.

His blood was boiling, the tension in his shoulders and neck was starting to give him a headache and every step he took aggravated the matter.

He turned hastily around a corner when the strap of his book bag was pulled off his shoulder.

“What?” He hissed when he turned to see you with the other end of his strap in your hand.

“This way.”

“L/N.”

“Lupin.” You countered severely, voice intoning no nonsense.

Remus allowed you to drag him by his bookbag like a dog down a seemingly abandoned corridor and into an empty classroom before you locked the doors and threw up a silencing charm.

“What are you doing?” He muttered admittedly far more petulantly than you presently deserved from him.

“Helping.” You answered simply as you began undoing your school tie.

“I’m fine.” He spat, plopping himself down roughly into a chair. 

“Right.” You said sarcastically. “And you wouldn’t have continued to punch the first arse you saw on your way back to Gryffindor, huh?” You asked as you started pulling off your top and exposing your lacy black bra. “And I may not be an expert, but you’re a long way from Gryffindor tower which means your chances of running into an arse were really rather high.”

Remus held his hands up to his face and pinches at his temples, trying to stave off the incoming migraine and the overwhelming urge to tell you to fuck off, which he knew he really didn’t want to do. 

Suddenly you were in nothing but your bra and panties, kneeling before him and fussing with his belt.

“This really isn’t necessary, L/N.” He offered without much fervour. 

“What are friends for?” You asked quietly as you pulled his belt from the loops of his trouser.

“You don’t have to.”

“Do you want me to stop?” You asked pointedly, pausing your movements and looking up at him. You were giving him a choice; an out. Did he want to blow off some steam, or did he want to spend the rest of his day pissed off and tense?

Did he want you to stop?

“No.” He admitted.

Your eyes softened, though everything else about your face remained impassive as you undid the button and zip to his trousers and began encouraging them down his legs.

He decided to give up on his temper tantrum and assist you in the unenviable task of disrobing him and pulled you up into his lap.

“I don’t need anything.” You squeaked as he had you straddle his lap, your hair falling over your shoulders and tickling his own from your place above him.

“I’m not going to get in a fight and be a selfish lover all in the same day, L/N.” He said in faux admonishment. “Friends look after each other, yeah?”

And he’s not sure what swayed you. One moment he had you perched precariously above him as he gently nipped at your neck, and the next moment he was brutally thrusting up into you with no lack of desperation. 

“Fuckin’ hells you feel amazing.” He grunted as you mewled above him, eyebrows furrowed and eyes screwed shut causing Remus to worry momentarily.

“Are you okay?” He asked breathlessly. You moaned in response and dropped your chin onto his shoulder.

“Hey, dove, you okay?” He asked again, pulling you from him and slowing his movements.

“Don’t you dare fucking stop, Lupin.” You barked before you pulled his face to yours by the ends of his hair for a searing kiss. 

He grinned somewhat maniacally into the kiss and lifted you from his lap as he stood with his cock still lodged deep within you and perched you on the edge of the desk.

“You’re a bossy girl, aren’t you?” He taunted, pushing roughly into you from this new angle and causing you to cry out. “You like telling men what to do, dove?”

You gasped as Remus found the magic little spot he’d been searching for and he doubled down in his thrusts with renewed vigour. 

“That’s okay.” He continued, brushing a strand of hair away from your face that had gotten stuck in some of your lipgloss. “I like being told what to do.”

“Please! Please, please please.” You whined, a pretty sheen of sweat dusted your skin and began to pool on the divot of your collarbone. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck me.”

“Working on it.”

You were apparently coherent enough to laugh at that which was torture for Remus who was currently hanging on by a fucking thread as your giggles caused your cunt to clench torturously around his cock.

“Come on, pretty girl. Come on, cum for me, yeah? You’re close; I can tell. Cum for me.” He started chanting, moving his hand that was currently holding your knee up near his ribs to rub circles around your clit.

“Cum for me, L/N.”

“Oh fuck.” You shouted as your orgasm tore through you; Remus felt almost sick from the effort not to follow you over the edge immediately, wanting to help you ride out yours to fruition, but your walls pulsating around him left him very little control over the matter.

“Fuck.” Remus growled, and unfortunately that was the only warning you got before slammed into you once more, twice more, and was then spilling inside you causing your cunt to grow impossibly more wet and warm.

You let out a desperate breath and fell forward into Remus’ chest; he was ashamed to admit how much he relished in the intimacy - ignoring the very intimate act that had already taken place. 

“Fuck Lupin, you’re an animal.” You breathed out with a laugh.

Remus let out a surprised bark of laughter as he looked down at you.

“You have no idea.”

And if it wasn’t any of those, perhaps it was a few weeks later, when Remus saw a regal looking owl fly into the Great Hall over the Slytherin table, and with a grand war cry dropped an important looking letter in front of you, causing the rest of your table to fall silent. 

Remus watched as Regulus Black’s jaw tightened and Barty Crouch Junior’s spoon fell back into his porridge as they watched you open it.

Remus watched as all colour seemed to drain from your face and your jaw fell slack, though not open.

The rest of the Hall seemed completely unaware of the turmoil taking place over at the Slytherin table; everyone but Remus and, apparently, Sirius Black. 

“Shit.” Sirius whispered under his breath quietly, alerting neither Peter nor James who were currently in a heated debate about whether pumpkin pasties or sugar quills were the better treat from Honeydukes.

“What is it?” Remus asked him quietly. Sirius seemed nearly surprised that Remus had noticed, though schooled his expression quickly.

“Marriage announcement, she’s been betrothed.” He sneered the word, his nose actually wrinkling in disgust. “‘Sold off’ is a more appropriate term. It’s too bad, I quite liked her.”

Remus didn’t really like the feeling that settled in his stomach when he considered you being married off, but he didn’t have time to think on it too hard before he watched you storm over to Avery, Mulciber, and Snape before grabbing the former by the nape of his neck and slamming his head down into the table.

Remus was up and over to you in an instant with Sirius close behind, beaten only by Barty and Regulus who had the advantage of proximity.

“You miserable fucking wanker! You’ll fucking rot for this!” You screamed as Regulus fought and nearly lost in his battle of holding you back as Barty began sparring with your newfound enemy.

“I’ll fucking kill you for this Avery! You watch your fucking back!” You screeched. Regulus - for what reason, Remus couldn’t know - thought now a good moment to put you down, and as you launched yourself once again for what he was sure was Avery’s jugular, Remus threw you over his shoulder and took off out of the Great Hall.

“Put me down!” You shouted.

“No.” 

“Fuck off, Lupin.” You cried, grabbing at his jumper and slamming your fists into his lower back as he took the stairs two at a time. 

“You’re fine, L/N.”

You squealed and began kicking your legs out, causing him to use both arms to pin them to his torso.

“Stop it.”

“Put me down!”

“Stop it. Stop fighting me.”

“I hate you.”

“That’s fine.” He said, though it felt anything but. But he knew, you weren’t really mad at him, you perhaps weren’t even really mad at Avery.

“I hate you.” You said quietly this time.

“That’s alright.”

You had given up on your fight by the time Remus got to his destination. He was sure his shoulder in your stomach was causing you issues and the blood had to have been rushing to your head, but you remained placid as he hoisted you back up right and set you down on the floor of the Astronomy tower. 

Your face was wet and your hair was a mess as you took gasping breaths. 

This was beyond Remus’ wheelhouse when it came to you; he was good for eating you out, blowing off some steam, quickies, and the odd toke or two, but this? This was beyond his area of expertise. 

He decided to sit down beside you - both your backs pressed against the cold stone of the castle in a way he was sure felt good against your skin that was sizzling and crackling with fury. He didn’t say anything; there was nothing to say, nothing that he could say, and nothing he’d really know to say at a moment like this. Perhaps he should have left you to your friends; to the Purebloods who got it. Though, Regulus seemed willing to let you help Barty kill Avery, so perhaps it was better that you were up here with him instead. 

That's what he’d tell himself for now.

It could have been minutes or even an hour before you finally took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Why’d you do that?”

“Do what?” Remus asked quietly.

“Stop me.”

“You stopped me first.”

You let that sit in the air as you looked out into the horizon. 

“What do you need, L/N? What… what can I do?” He begged desperately.

Remus was certain the entire school could hear the sound of his heart breaking at the devastated expression that graced your face when you turned to make eye contact with him; your eyes seemed to beg Remus for something but he couldn’t decipher what it was that you were asking of him.

“I want to…to forget.” You sobbed. “I want to not think, I want to turn it all off for a fucking, god’s damned minute. I want it all to stop.”

“Okay.” He offered readily.

“I want it to stop.”

“Okay.” He repeated, taking your hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I’m right here.” He encouraged you. “Tell me what you need.”

“I need to forget.”

“Okay.” Remus said again, pulling at your hand and encouraging you into his lap. “I’m right here; take what you need.”

And Remus wasn’t sure what went through your mind as you searched between his hazel eyes. One moment you were carefully perched above him in his lap; tear tracks staining your cheeks and eyes full of sorrow. And in the next moment, your uniform skirt was hiked up and panties pulled to the side, and Remus’ belt was undone and his trousers were pulled low around his thighs as you bounced up and down on his cock like it was the solution to all of life's problems.

Remus wished it were true, he really did. But if all he could do at this moment was help you turn your brain off and forget the unpleasantness waiting for you back in the castle for just a little bit, then that’s what he would do. 

You had your face shoved into his neck and he was quite sure you were biting down on the junction between his shoulder and his neck - in an attempt to quell your moans, your crying, or just out of frustration, Remus didn’t know, and quite frankly he didn’t care either way. You grinded down onto him and he felt you applying pressure to your clit against his pelvic bone, prompting him to start rubbing it with his thumb. 

“You can let go, gorgeous. No one’s here.” He whispered.

You bit down harder in response and began riding him with an air of desperation. 

“I’m right here.”

And then he felt it. First, he felt your tears fall onto his shoulder, then he felt your teeth break his skin, and finally he felt your walls clench around him.

You stayed latched onto him; your arms around his waist, your hands clenched into the fabric of his jumper, your teeth on his skin and your cunt on his cock as he thrusted up into you and found his own release with very little effort on account of the aftershocks still shuddering through you. 

You sat like that for some time afterwards; the gentle breeze causing goosebumps to cover each of you as the sweat began to cool on your skin, and Remus rubbed circles into your bare thighs with his thumbs.

Unfortunately - for reasons Remus wasn’t willing to ponder on at present - you pulled away, a string of spit connecting your lips to the place on Remus’ neck he was sure now adorned the shape of your teeth.

“Sorry.” You rasped, running a hand over the newest of many wounds now decorating his skin. He didn’t want you to be sorry, though, he thought perhaps this might be his favourite one; it wasn’t the result of some hideous monster who took out its rage on him, but instead marked a tender moment between him and his…friend. 

You pulled your wand to cast a healing charm over it when Remus grabbed your wrist.

“Don’t.”

Your reddened and swollen eyes looked at him inquisitively, causing Remus to flush in embarrassment.

“Leave it, I’ve already got so many; what’s one more?” He tried to joke, though he could tell as you looked back down at the bite mark, it fell flat. 

“I’m sorry.” You said again, and Remus shook his head.

“Don’t be.”

“Thank you.” You said quietly, looking into Remus’ eyes imploringly, as if trying to convey your gratitude through your very soul. “For stopping me.”

This moment suddenly felt too charged for Remus; it was different somehow, something had happened, though he wasn’t sure what.

Not then, at least.

“That’s what friends do.” He said noncommittally. “It was an I.O.U.”

He managed to force a small smile out of you for that, and he was grateful. 

So perhaps it was all of those together, in addition to the many blowjobs, many quickies, many quiet, loud, rough, or awkward fucks the two of you had in between.

But maybe…

Maybe it was the way your smile lit up the room when Barty or Pandora said something particularly outlandish or funny; your laughter echoing through the halls like an invitation to experience a secret joy that only you and your friends knew about.

Or maybe it was the way you seemed to be the only one who could weasel a smile, a laugh, or a fond eye roll out of the notoriously cold and apathetic Regulus.

Or maybe it was how a dimple in your left cheek only appeared when you were particularly proud of an achievement you made or a grade you received. 

Or maybe it was the kind way you sheltered the younger Slytherin’s from the brunt of the Marauder’s pranks without impeding their more good natured ones.

Or maybe it was the way you hexed McLaggen for hitting on Lily Evans, and then again for calling her a filthy Mudblood when she refused his advancements.

Or maybe it was the way that you could always tell when Remus was feeling sad or low and needed help, needed something, needed you.

And fuck.

He needed you.

Remus wasn’t exactly sure how this thing started for him.

One moment you were on your hands and knees in his bed and he was fucking into you from behind; his body curled around yours as he rubbed at your clit expertly to push you over that edge for the third time tonight. And the next moment you were spread out and pliant beneath him, head thrown back in ecstasy as he lazily pushed into you.

He didn’t often get moments like this; moments to just sit and admire you. 

This thing he had with you, it was delicate, precarious. It was precious. And he wasn’t going to go fucking it up by forcing it to be something it wasn’t.

You were friends.

You were friends who helped each other.

You were friends who have seen each other naked; who have tasted each other’s sweat, skin, flesh, blood, and cum. 

You were friends who have spent time with each other, on each other, and in each other.

You were friends.

That’s what you had agreed to, that was the arrangement, that was all this was supposed to be.

And then Remus’ stupid sodding heart had to go and fucking yearn for you.

It ached to sit beside you in the library without it being a precursor for one of you to be on your knees in the stacks moments later. 

It ached to ask you about your day for the sole purpose of getting to hear about it and not just as a means to help you take your mind off it by bending you over in an empty classroom. 

It ached to watch you, uninhibited throughout the day, without it causing grief, or angst, or hungry looks being exchanged. 

It ached to taste your lips without tasting the leftover sex from previous actions. 

It ached for you to climb into the shower with him after this, to throw on one of his ratty old band tees, and to stay.

It ached for you to stay.

He wanted you to stay.

But you guys were friends.

And that was enough, it had to be enough. He would make it be enough. 

So sue him; sue him for taking this extra moment to admire your form below him, when you were only his in this moment. Sue him for memorising the way your hair pooled around your head like a halo even after all the tugging and ruffling that it has been subjected to. Sue him for watching the way your breasts bounced with each gentle thrust of his hips, the way your ribs expanded and contracted with each breath, the way the two of you fit so perfectly together; your body accepting him with grace and ease as he slotted the two of you together over and over and over again.

He ached for you.

And damn him - damn him and his bleeding heart and this beautiful girl beneath him - he reached out to pull a strand of hair that laid plastered to the side of your sweaty face.

He didn’t just ache for you.

He yearned for you.

He loved you.

He was in love with you.

And Godric only knows how far gone he was or for how long now. But it didn’t matter; none of it mattered. All that mattered was this ethereal being that, for just this moment, was all his. 

He doesn’t know how long your eyes had been returning his gaze. He supposed it didn’t matter, because he knew; he knew it was written all over his face. 

He may as well have been flashing a neon sign on his forehead: “My name is Remus, and I’m wildly in love with you”. And if the sign hadn’t been enough, he was sure his actions were.

There was no longer any desperation in his actions; no destination in mind as he slowly pulled out of you and pushed back in again. His hands weren’t placed in precise locations to elicit a specific reaction of any sort, but rather roved languidly over your body in meticulous worship. 

And if that hadn’t been enough, he was sure that the way you were staring deep into his eyes, into his soul; you saw. You knew.

The jig was up.

He had been outed. 

Your eyes widened minutely and began to flit around Remus’ face as your grip on his arms stationed on either side of your body loosened. 

You knew.

Though it was all for naught at this point, Remus scrunched his eyes closed as if he could save any of his remaining dignity; not that there was much left.

This was it, it was all going to be over.

He lowered himself over your body and pressed his face into your neck, hiding like the coward he was as he picked up the pace of his thrusts.

Gently, tentatively, he felt you press a cautious hand between his shoulder blades and another to the nape of his neck. 

Somehow, the tenderness in your touch hurt more. 

He came with a strangled cry, feeling humiliating tears fall from his eyes as he filled you up for what he was certain would be the last time.

He melted into your hold and cried silently into your shoulder, and you let him.

Your hand that was stationed between his shoulder blades never moved, but your hand in his hair kneaded gentle, soothing circles into his scalp.

He wanted you to stop; he wanted you to stop because this was all he really wanted... to be here, with you, like this.

He wanted the rough and the fun and the biting and the hair pulling, sure. But he wanted the gentle, the soft, the affection, and the innocent intimacy, too. 

That wasn’t fair though; it wasn’t fair to you. You never asked for it, and you never offered it.

You never asked for it.

You never offered it.

He decided that he’d been hiding in your neck for far longer than he had any right to, and slowly pulled his face away from its sanctuary. 

He looked up at you through his curls in shame to see you had tear tracks down your cheeks too.

What a fucking mess.

He was a fucking mess; and he’d dragged you down into it.

He slowly pulled out of you and summoned a tissue to clean up the cum leaking from your folds. You hissed at the sensation and he whispered an apology before pulling on a pair of pyjama pants and throwing you a t-shirt that he hoped to fucking God was clean, and sat on the edge of James’ bed; facing you, though his head was bowed in shame.

“I’m sorry.” He offered pathetically, knowing it was not even close to helpful in this situation.

“When…” You started, voice both gravely from the sex and tight with emotions as new tears fell. “When did this happen?”

He didn’t have an answer; he didn’t know. He couldn't say.

“When,” you tried again. “When did this change?”

Your face fell into your hands as you began to cry in earnest.

He wondered what part of this upset you the most; the loss of this friend that you had in him? The pressure to offer him more than you were willing to give? The feeling of guilt over not being able to return his feelings?

You didn’t seem to be waiting for an actual answer from him, but were rather voicing the thoughts running through your head as they came to you.

“I should go.” He whispered, even though this was his room, even though you were wearing his shirt.

“Don’t.” You demanded harshly, eyes blazing with a fire he never imagined ever being shot at him. “Don’t you dare leave me here like this; not after that.”

He nodded quickly, sitting back down on James’ bed as you wiped angrily at your face.

He wished you wouldn’t; he wished you’d be more gentle.

He didn’t get to wish things like that, though.

“When, when did this become love?” You asked in a mixture of shock and bemusement; the thought of an equation you couldn’t solve was clearly insulting to you. 

Remus shook his head in disgrace. “I’m sorry.” He offered weakly.

You scoffed out a sarcastic laugh. “Sorry for what, exactly? Making me fall in love with you? Making me fall in love with you and not telling me about it?”

“You... too?” He rasped, looking at you with a slack jaw.

“Fuck.” You seethed, standing up and beginning to pace the dorm room for a few moments as you seemed to think back on the entire duration of this situation.

“When!?” You demanded again after a few moments.

“I don’t know.” He admitted honestly, placatingly.

“Fuck.” You paused in place, bringing your hands to your mouth. Remus hated it, but you paused right in front of the hearth, causing your form to be illuminated by an ethereal glow. He thought you looked beautiful.

“I’m sorry.” He said, for daring to even think such a thing.

But, maybe…maybe if you loved him too, he could think such things?

“Fuck.” You said again, still staring unseeingly at the wall of his dorm as you stood in nothing but an oversized shirt in the middle of the room.

“What-” Remus started, taking a cautious step towards you as if you were a wild animal poised to run at any given moment. “What do you want, Y/N?”

Not one muscle in your body moved save for your eyes as they shot over to him.

“Anything.” He whispered.

I’ll give you anything you want; be anything you want. Say it and I’m yours. I’m yours.

I’m already all yours.

“I need to pee.” You said plainly.

Remus’ chest deflated in relief that you weren’t asking him to obliviate this memory from your mind.

“And then…” You took a shuddering breath that made Remus want to fold you up and keep you safe in his breast pocket for the rest of his life. “And then I want to talk. About this, okay? Please?”

Remus nodded quickly, readily, so unbelievably willingly.

“Don’t leave, please. Please be here when I get back.” You whispered; eyes, voice, and body language far more vulnerable than he ever remembered seeing from you (and ever cared to see from you again).

“Always.”

You sit back against the couch cushions and try not to sulk. This is entrapment. Your know-it-all boyfriend had hidden the pain relievers just so you’d have to fess up to needing them when he’d caught you ransacking the bathroom, and now he’s making you submit to his know-it-all exam so you can have them. Entrapment and bribery. You should look into whether you can sue him for malpractice. 

“Ah!” You suck in a gasp. “There, it hurts there.” 

Remus stops touching your injured toe. “Sorry,” he says, rubbing the bottom of your foot consolingly. “I hate to tell you, but this isn’t a sprain. Sprains don’t hurt to the touch like this.” 

Oh, you’ll bet he hates to tell you. Told-you-so are Remus’ favorite words. 

“But it’s so much easier if it’s a sprain,” you whine. “It could still just be bruised. I read online that those feel almost indistinguishable from breaks.” 

“Oh, you read it online, did you?” Remus manages to get enough eye-roll into his voice that he doesn’t even need to follow through on the action. You must look even poutier than you intend, because he cracks, grinning at you indulgently. He beckons with a hand. “Give me your other foot.” 

You blink. Raise your eyebrows at him. “What do you want with it? I think you have enough of my feet there already.” 

“It’s for comparison, dove.” 

“Sure it is.” You lift your other foot onto his lap. “Pervert.” 

Remus’ tongue pokes into his cheek, suppressing a different sort of grin. He grasps your good foot and digs his thumb into the ticklish part cruelly, making you squeal and kick at him. “You’re the pervert,” he says placidly, pinning your foot until you settle down. “Look here, see?” 

You lean forward tentatively, the end of a giggle still fizzing in your chest. 

“The toe on this foot is a little curved, but that one’s definitely worse.” He tugs on your good toe as if to demonstrate. “They were probably the same before you broke it.” 

You sigh, resigned. “I don’t want it to be broken, though. Then it’s, like, a whole thing.” 

Remus makes a sorry face at you. He lifts your injured foot, kissing the side. “I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” 

“Well,” you say, eyeing him, “at least you can stop touching my feet now.” 

“This one, yes.” He unhands your good foot. “But this one, I think I need to keep an eye on.” 

You cross your arms, suspicious. Never mind that his lap is a very comfortable footrest. “And why’s that?” 

“Because I take care of the things that are important to me.” He cuts a look your way. “Some of us don’t seem to do the same.” 

“Ugh,” you laugh, ignoring the heat rushing to your cheeks, “you’re the worst, you know that?” 

“Yeah, dovey, I know.” He smiles down at his phone, keeping one hand wrapped securely around your ankle while the other thumbs something into the search bar. 

“What’re you doing?” 

“Making you an appointment for tomorrow morning. We have a podiatrist at my work, I’ll go with you.” 

You frown. “Do I really have to go to your office so someone else can tell me what you just did?” 

This time, Remus does roll his eyes. You poke him with your good foot to let him know you saw. “Yes, you do. They could help it heal faster, and I know you’ll listen better if they tell you to rest it than if I tell you.” 

“I listen to you.” 

“Oh, yeah?” He looks over at you interestedly. “I told you to rest it when you hurt it two days ago. How’s it feeling now?” 

You look away from his gaze. “Coddled,” you mutter. 

“What time is it?-“

She asked quickly, roughly, after her light slumber. Her Irish accent flowed off the tip of her tongue, golden orbs dancing around the empty library and its ornate decorations.

Hells, she really needed to get her priorities straight. Hungover and grumpy.

Remus chuckled, looking at her with a slight smirk as she started to wake. He leaned against the table, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It’s 20 over, and you look like shite.”

He said with a soft chuckle, amused by the sight of her messy hair and tired face.

“I’ve been sitting here for the last half an hour trying to wake you up.”

Remus continued, watching her head whipping around, looking around the empty library.

“You were out cold, sleeping like a little baby.”

Juno groaned again, rubbing her temples before running an idle hand through her messy hair, long and disheveled. Only then did she realise the darkness that had creeped upon the castle, the only light illuminating the room casting from the fire goblets that adorned the stone walls.

“Why didn’t you shake me harder, Moony?-“

She asked, allowing the corners of her lips to twitch upwards in a lopsided fashion, in that classic Juno smile. She finally looked up at him, Remus, her best friend, fellow Marauder, his warm hazel eyes and signature knitted sweater that smelled like chocolate and cigarettes.

Remus smiled back at her, a lopsided grin growing on his thin face. He loved the way she spoke his nickname, even if he pretended otherwise.

“Oh, I was going to, but it was too funny watching you being completely out of it.”

He said, crossing one ankle over the other as he leaned more against the table, raising his eyebrow and tilting his head to the side.

“And look at you, grumpy and hungover. I can smell the alcohol from here.”

He said, chuckling again, teasing her. It was obvious how comfortable he felt around her, as he let little insults and jokes slide from his tongue like normal conversation.

The mention of alcohol in any capacity made her stomach churn and bubble like the cauldrons in the potions classroom, bitter bile threatening to burn its way up her throat. Juno grimaced, scoffing with a flick of her hand as she leaned back in her chair, ancient and wooden.

“Padfoot knows how to party-“

She replied, grumbling and muttering the words.

“It’s a shame, we missed you there-“

She added, reaching up to brush off some stray crumbs off Remus’ sweater.

Remus rolled his eyes, and let a small scoff escape his lips.

“Oh, obviously,”

He said, referring to Sirius, and all the parties he hosted in the Gryffindor Common Room or the Astronomy tower.

“I was studying.”

He said in response. He felt her fingers brush against his sweater, he chuckled, raising his eyebrow.

“You trying to touch me, McLean?”

Something in the way Remus spoke those syllables made Juno’s chest tighten, though she always prided herself in masking her emotions, at least the ones she didn’t dare want anyone else to see. She hummed, rolling her amber orbs that glistened in the reflection of the fire sconces.

“Shut it, Lupin-”

She giggled, rubbing the tip of her freckled nose with the pads of her fingers.

“You and your books, and your smarty pants glasses and knowledge-”

She continued. Remus laughed, a wide grin plastered on his face. He enjoyed their banter, the silly little discussions, the teasing and the playful insults.

”You’re just mad that I’m smarter than you.”

He said, a teasing tone to his voice, sticking the tip of his tongue out, like a child.

“You’re smarter than everyone-”

Juno retorted, allowing her honeyed irises to dance across the details of his face. Warm and gentle. Sweet and kind.

She let out another quiet chuckle, reaching forward to close over her leather bound books. It was a double edged sword, loving him. Loving him like a best friend, like a dog or something sweet, like apple tarts. Loving him like dreaming of how he would kiss.

But she couldn’t tell him. She’d never dare. To lose their bond, their friendship. What a waste-

Remus chuckled slightly, looking her over as she closed her books. He felt the same way about her. The way his heart beat a little faster when she smiled, or how his eyes always searched for hers in a room. The way he wanted to do anything to make sure she was comfortable, and happy. He loved her, probably a bit too much. But they were just friends. Even if he sometimes did think about what it would feel like, to kiss her.

”Only you would get mad because I’m smarter,”

He said.

“Maybe you should try reading one of these books sometime.”

He continued, a cheeky smirk on his lips.

”You might actually learn something.”

He loved pushing her buttons. But he also knew that he could, and she wouldn’t mind. They had gotten used to each other over the years, to the light insults, and sarcastic comments.

‘What more is there to learn when the only thing I’m interested in is you?’

The thought ran through Juno’s mind, like a summer storm battering against the confines of her skull. Or maybe it was the alcohol, who’s to tell?

“Maybe,”

Juno hummed, tapping her fingernails against the hardback book.

“Or maybe I should learn to refuse wine from Padfoot-”

Remus chuckled, running a hand through his already messy dark hair. That was already a first step in the right direction. Refusing the alcohol from the party animals. He thought it was a miracle she was even still awake.

“Maybe you should. You’re gonna end up face down unconscious in the middle of potions one of these days-”

He said with a laugh, raising his eyebrows and giving her another smirk.

He couldn’t stop his eyes from dancing over her face, taking her beauty in. He had already memorized all the details on her face. The small beauty mark she had on her left cheek, or the way her lips were naturally pouting in a cute way.

“How many cups did you even have last night?”

“More than enough, clearly-“

Juno grumbled. In some ways, it was amusing to think about their teenage antics, to wash away every responsibility that fell at her feet. To be defiant, to refuse a smile to anyone that asked. But it was futile, and everything moves with time.

“Kind of wish I was just burning my skin off by the fireplace, studying with you-”

She spoke the words quietly, softly, genuinely.

Remus chuckled, shaking his head. He remembered his younger years at Hogwarts, the many nights he spent with his friends, talking in the common room until late, drinking firewhiskey and sneaking off to do dumb little pranks. He found himself missing that sometimes, before all the responsibilities.

He looked at her, his eyebrows raising slightly.

“Then why don’t you study with me?”

Juno smiled, warmly, the dimples on her cheeks decorating her face like Christmas ornaments on a mantlepiece. She looked at him, unable to wrap her head around how someone with his condition could be so warm. So kind.

“I will-“

She replied.

“Solemnly swear-“

She added, watching him roll up his sleeves to bear the silvery scars that painted his skin.

Remus chuckled softly, his eyes fixated on her smile, the way her dimples adorned her freckled face. He could feel the heat in his cheeks as she smiled at him, his heart beat picking up a pace.

As he rolled up his sleeves, he could sense her eyes dancing over his arms. His scars. He couldn’t really blame her, they were pretty noticeable.

“Is that your best attempt at a serious tone?”

He smirked, teasing her and her lighthearted ways. He could probably count the amount of times she had been serious on one hand. It was part of her charm, in a way. She never took life too seriously, and didn’t waste time on being sad or upset. She always had a small grin on her lips, a cheeky tone in her voice, and a playful eye-roll on the horizon.

She groaned once more, head pounding, most likely from dehydration.

She pushed herself out the wooden chair as its legs screeched against the floorboards, smoothing out the fabric of her skirt with her palms before tilting her head to look upon Remus’ full height.

“Can’t help how I talk, Moons-”

She quipped, heart clenching as she breathed in the scent of him.

Remus chuckled again, rolling his eyes. That was typical Juno, not being able to stay serious for more than two minutes at a time. Though he couldn’t really mind it. It was what made her who she was, the thing that had made him notice her in the first place.

He watched as she stood up, smoothing down the fabric of her skirt. His eyes involuntarily danced over her body, taking in every inch of her.

“I know. That’s what makes you Juno. Pretty sure I could tell if someone had replaced you, like a shapeshifter or something-”

His eyes locked with hers, his heart beating in his ear. It was getting harder to control himself, to not push her up against a wall, and do all the things he’d wanted to do for months. Months? Years? He’d lost track of time.

“You’re gonna have the worst headache in the morning. And no one to blame but yourself-”

He teased, his thin lips pulling into an amused smirk.

She never had anyone else to blame apart from herself with anything. She was always her own demise, self destructive and selfish.

Maybe she was too harsh on herself.

Then she spotted it, the bright red packet of cigarettes hanging loose in Remus’ bag, peeking out at her like a siren call.

“Come smoke with me-”

She spoke, for once, sincerely. Her honeyed irises darted from Remus’ handsome face, to the cigarettes and back again.

‘I just want to spend time with you.’

Remus’ eyebrows raised. He had to admit that he was a bit surprised, she wasn’t a fan of his habit of smoking. He also didn’t know why she suddenly had an urge to share the act with him, but he didn’t question it. He was more than happy to have any excuse to spend time with her.

He grabbed the cigarettes from his bag, taking two from the pack, lighting them both with his wand.

“Of course.”

Juno gasped and waved her hands about in front of Remus’ face, before grasping him by the sweater and pulling him towards the door.

“Not in here! Christ Moony!-”

She exclaimed, voice dropping to a whisper as her brown leather shoes scrapped against the old wooden floors.

“You boys will keep me in detention forever!-”

She could smell it already, the musky smoke staining her uniform. Luckily the library was near the courtyard, once they climbed the stairs, of course, the chill of the night nipping her kneecaps and kissing her cheeks once they had finally emerged.

Remus chuckled sheepishly, rolling his eyes. As she pulled him towards the entrance of the courtyard, he had to fight off a grin. He felt her hand grip tighter in the fabric of his sweater, as she yanked him out into the cold night. The fresh air felt good against his skin, and the smell of smoke and cigarettes filling his nostrils was familiar and calming. He took a long drag off his cigarette, letting the smoke roll off his tongue over his thin lips.

“You’re a bit overdramatic-”

He commented, a cheeky smirk on his lips as he watched her struggle to not shiver in the cold of the February night. He took another drag of the cigarette, before moving closer to her, to try and warm her up.

“You’re gonna get yourself sick-”

“I’m always sick-“

She replied, giggling softly as they gathered themselves underneath the large weeping willow tree. She could see the stars peaking through the vines, the constellations clear as day as Remus’ warmth hummed against her skin through her blouse.

If this was the end of the world, or the collapse of time, Juno would be satisfied. Joyful at his side.

“Stars are pretty tonight-”

She commented, before slipping the cigarette between her digits, placing the filter between her rosy lips.

Remus chuckled, shaking his head at her comment. It was true that she was always sick. The girl was a disaster when it came to taking care of herself. Snotty nose and cranky attitude. He knew he’d have to get on her about it eventually.

He watched intently as she took the cigarette from him, sticking it between her lips. He couldn’t help but stare in fascination, as the smoke rolled off her lips, before disappearing into the dark of the night.

“Yeah,”

He said, his eyes still fixed on her lips.

“They really are.”

He felt the cool night air stinging against his face, blowing back his messy, dark locks of hair and nipping at his neck. Despite the cold, he felt strangely warmed. He wrapped his arm around her, to pull her close against his side. He felt her shiver slightly, and he rubbed his hand gently up and down her arm, the sleeves of his sweater covering her skin. He had the urge to just bury his face against her hair.

Juno smiled at the action, effortlessly affectionate and endearing. Something friends do. He was so sweet, damn it-

Her shoulder pressed into Remus’ chest as she crossed her ankles, shifting her weight between each foot.

“Have you and Prongs made up yet?-“

She asked, taking a sharp inhale from the cigarette as she looked up at him from the corner of her eye.

Remus’ eyes darkened slightly, frowning at the mention of James. It felt like ages since they had last tried to talk to one another. He took a drag from the cigarette, letting the smoke roll out through his nose as he exhaled it, and looked at her.

“No. But it’s not like it matters anymore-“

He said, his tone sharp and cold.

“I don’t know if we will for a while-“

He added. He didn’t know if they would be able to fix whatever mess this was, but he certainly wasn’t happy about the whole thing. Losing one of his best friends wasn’t on his list of things to do this year.

Juno hated it. Absolutely raging at the turmoil within her group of close friends. It was ride or die, it was special, irreplaceable.

“Yes, you will-“

Juno spoke, Irish accent flowing through the crisp air, breath visible.

“You have to-”

It made her heart hurt, watching Remus try and lock eyes with James across the breakfast table, yearning for a white flag of surrender.

“Its us. All of us. The Marauders, Moony-”

Remus sighed. He knew she was right. The Mauraders were inseparable, they always had been. But this fight was severe, one of the biggest arguments they’d ever had. He didn’t know if he could just forget it all and go back to how things were before. The thought of it tugged at his heart painfully.

“I’ll try, as soon as he makes an effort. But I don’t know, Juno… this isn’t like our regular squabbles.”

He leaned his head down slightly, so his forehead was almost resting against hers. He couldn’t help but take in a deep inhale of her scent, the smell of parma violets and warm sugar so sweet around him.

Fuck personal space.

“I want to fix things… I don’t want to cause the entire group to fall apart-.”

The look in Remus’ warm gaze was jarring, like he was swallowing his pain until he couldn’t help but vomit it back up again.

“It’s not your fault-“

She replied, snubbing the cigarette out against the bark of the tree.

“James is sensitive right now. Him and Lily are trying to figure out their relationship, he’ll come around. I swear it-”

She explained, suddenly feeling like the weight of the topic had drowned out her hangover.

Remus chuckled bitterly, and pulled her even closer. He knew she was right, of course. His issues with James really weren’t his fault, he’d done nothing wrong.

But he couldn’t help but feel responsible. After all, none of his friends were exactly stable right now. Everyone had an issue of their own to deal with, and the one who usually put everything and everyone before himself, was himself falling apart.

“I just want everything to go back to normal… I miss my friends-“

He muttered, burying his head against the crook of her neck. He hated himself for feeling vulnerable and lost. That wasn’t the role he was supposed to be playing. But he wanted to let himself be weak. Just once. Just a few moments with her alone.

Her heart shattered, and regardless of her easy going nature, she was serious. Genuine. Unmasked.

“Moons-”

She whispered, trying not to slip into the void from a simple moment of intimacy between them.

She cradled the back of his head, fingers delving into the dark chestnut strands in an attempt to comfort him. The one that always had his shit together.

“I know you do. It’s- it’s going to be okay, I promise-“

He could feel her fingers gently twisting around the strands of his messy hair, and he couldn’t help the way he closed his eyes and slightly melted into her touch. He couldn’t fight the way his heart thumped hard against his rib cage, and the butterflies that were fluttering around in his stomach.

Juno, his best friend, his partner in crime, the one who always laughed at his dumb jokes, who never once failed to light up a room when she entered.

The girl he’d fallen head over heels in love with.

“How do you know?-“

He mumbled, his lips almost touching the silky soft skin of her neck. He pushed himself even closer against her, his need to be close to her overwhelming him. It was almost an addiction.

How did she know? How could she know? Remus was the smart one, the clever one. Juno wasn’t any of those things, in her mind at least.

She swallowed, the heat of Remus’ breath wafting over her neck.

“Because Prongs is stupid. But he’s loyal, like a dog-“

She replied, hushed and quiet.

“And Padfoot said that he didn’t know how to say sorry to you-“

He let out a deep sigh, his shoulders slumping at her words. That was just like them. They didn’t know how to communicate. Of course they didn’t know how to deal with things like this.

His fingers pressed against her skin, fingers tracing mindless shapes into her waist. As if he was afraid she’d disappear if he let go.

“How do you and Padfoot always know these things.. you two always know everything-“

“Sources. We have our sources, I guess.”

“Bloody gossip hounds, you two-“

Remus replied, grumbling. Juno sniggered, pulling away just enough to look up at him with those golden eyes. He was so pretty she thought she could cry, or at least slit the throats of all those other girls that wanted him, as selfish as that was. She didn’t even have the right to think that way.

“Anyways, enough with the depressing shite, huh?-“

This was Scotland, in February. Depressing was an understatement.

Remus let out a soft chuckle, his fingers still tracing his mindless patterns.

“I hate it when you get smart on me-“

He teased, though there was a hint of seriousness to it. It was like she could always read his thoughts and feelings, she just knew who he was. The things he didn’t like people to know about him.

He was quiet for a moment. He took in her features, the way her eyes gleamed in the dark, the way her lips looked rosy in the cold. He sighed out, a tiny smile twitching on his lips. He glanced up at the night sky, the stars and moon shining above them.

“You know the night sky pretty well, don’t you?-“

Juniper McLean. Astronomy extraordinaire. Record holder for how many times a telescope lens could be broken.

Remus’ syllables reminded her of something she had done last night at that party, whilst Sirius was too busy snogging blonde girls to pay any attention. She smiled toothily, before pulling away from Remus’ grasp.

“Can I show you something?-”

She asked, not even waiting for an answer before butting in again.

“Mary did it last night-”

She added, remembering the taste of red berry wine and firecracker whiskey on her tongue.

Remus quirked an eyebrow at her question, watching as she pulled away to stand in front of him. He studied her face as she spoke, noting the way her eyes gleamed and a small smirk tugged at the corners of her lips. She was up to something. He didn’t know what, but he wasn’t sure if he liked the look on her face.

“Mary did what last night?”

He asked, his voice filled with a hint of wariness.

Juno chuckled, amused by the curiosity in Remus’ hazel orbs that always lit up at the sound of something new.

“Just look-“

She chirped, before turning around to face in the other direction, her back to him. She was lucky it was the dead of night, or else there was absolutely no way in hell she would be this daring.

Juno swiftly pulled her blouse over her head, cursing at the chill of the air on her newly exposed skin. Her other hand came to pull her hair out of the way, revealing Mary’s handiwork. Ink from a quill, connecting the freckles on her back to one another, mapping out in constellations across her bare back.

Remus felt his eyes widen as she turned away from him, his heart thumped wildly against his chest as she slipped off her blouse, leaving her bare back completely exposed. His eyes instantly darted to the smooth skin of her back, tracing the constellations drawn on her skin. He hadn’t even realized he was moving his feet until he was standing right behind her, his eyes drinking in the sight in front of him.

"Merlin…”

His voice was low and hoarse, eyes tracing every little tiny mark on her skin. His fingers itched to reach out and touch the skin of her back. They ached to touch her, to feel the warmth of her body under his fingers. She was so close, and everything inside him screamed to just reach out, but instead he stood frozen in place, completely mesmerized by the girl in front of him.

He forced himself to breathe, his fingers clenching into a tight fist. He couldn’t allow himself to touch her. He knew he’d just want more.

Remus’ lack of words wasn’t unusual to her, knowing he was taking in the sight before him. It was enough to blossom her cheeks like a garden in spring, something she could easily blame on the winter air.

“Crazy, huh?-“

She spoke, giggling as her shoulders lightly bounced.

“She showed it to me in the mirror when she was done-“

She added, kicking her feet against the grass idly, holding the fabric of her blouse against her chest.

It took Remus a few moments to be able to speak coherently again. The sight of her bare back, the way the stars were drawn across her skin, the tiny little freckles that covered her.

"Yeah… yeah, it’s..”

He swallowed, his eyes fixed on her skin.

“Can I touch it?”

Juno’s honeyed gaze was locked upon a tree in the distance, watching the way it swayed back and forth. So simple, making oxygen for them both to breathe. Something that had a clear purpose in life.

She snapped herself out of her own chaotic mind, tongue darting out to wet her lips before nodding.

“Yeah,”

She murmured, thankful that he couldn’t see her face right now. Always a gentleman.

“You didn’t need to ask, Moons-”

His breath hitched at her words, as his heart throbbed painfully hard. He took a moment to compose himself, his throat dry as he slowly allowed his hand to reach out towards her. His fingers shook faintly as they hovered over her skin, as if he was almost scared to touch her. When his hand came into contact with her skin it was impossibly light, his fingers so gentle it was almost as if feathers were brushing against her back. Though his touch was soft as a caress, his hands trembled ever so slightly.

Juno’s breathing hitched in her throat, lungs constricting at his touch. Light and gentle like a leaf in the wind.

“That tickles-“

She spoke, giggling innocently. Never in a million years would she have let anyone else touch her like that, let alone have showed them like this.

But this was Remus. She could be herself with him, utterly and completely. She could remember it now, all those years ago when they took the piss out of people on the Hogwarts Express for the first time.

Remus was silent, his heart beating wildly in his chest as she giggled at his touch. The sound of her laughter made his hands shake and his mind scream like a mandrake.

The memory of them sitting on the train, laughing and making fun of people came to his mind, and his heart ached at the thought of how much things had changed, yet the two of them were still the same.

“…Can I ask you something?”

He breathed out, his voice hoarse and strained.

At that, Juno pulled her blouse back over her torso, adjusting it accordingly before turning back around to face him.

“Anything-“

She replied, flashing him her signature smile, lopsided and cheeky. She had to pretend she didn’t feel anything, that her stomach didn’t clench at his touch, or that her mind didn’t swim with what it could possibly feel like for Remus to touch her everywhere.

His gaze was fixed on her smile as she turned around to look at him, his eyes tracing her lips, and down her neck. He swallowed before speaking.

“Are you.. Are you dating anyone right now?”

He instantly regretted the question as soon as the words left his mouth. What if she was dating someone? Worse, what if she was in love with someone? He felt his heart clench at the thought, as he looked into her golden eyes, praying that she would say no.

Juno scrunched her brows, but her smile didn’t falter. She looked up at him inquisitively, head tilted to the side as she examined the features that had grown so familiar to her, the details that never left her mind. Remus’ glasses, black framed and old. She could picture him nose deep in a book right now, stuffing his mouth with chocolate to stave off his impending werewolf transformation.

“If I was, don’t you think you’d know about it?-“

She replied, Irish accent light and airy, breath visible in the cold night.

Remus felt himself take a deep breath and relax slightly at her words. The idea of her dating someone sent pangs of jealousy through his heart, though he pushed those thoughts out of his head rather quickly. He let the corners of his mouth tug up into a tiny smile at her words. Trust her to say something snarky as a reply.

“Fair point. I suppose I’d know if you had some idiot trailing after you.-“

He teased, his voice soft and low. Gods, he was that idiot, wasn’t he?

He mentally cursed himself for a moment, but was able to push the negative thoughts away. He just wanted to be able to look at her, to hear her voice, to touch her and talk to her.

“Are you.. seeing anyone then?“

He inquired, shoving his hands into his pockets, trying to seem as casual as possible, even though he was anything but casual on the inside. He was pretty sure he could physically feel his heart beating in his chest, thrumming against his ribcage.

Juno began wondering what the hell had been in his porridge when he ate it this morning, or if someone had cursed him as a prank.

She chuckled, shaking her head in response.

“Are you asking me if I’m having sex with anyone, Moons?-“

She asked, point blank. She was never one to beat around the bush, especially around her best friends.

But Merlin’s beard, why was he even asking?

Remus felt his face heat up at her question, a flush of pink spreading across his cheeks. He tried to keep his composure, he really tried, but her blunt question caught him completely off guard. He felt the words get stuck in his throat, stuttering like an idiot for a few seconds, before finally being able to reply.

”I- No-“

He said, a strangled squeak in his words. He was a mess, and he knew it.

“No! I didn’t mean-“

He paused, his hands clenching and unclenching in his pockets. His heart was racing a million miles a second, his ears pink with embarrassment. He knew he should just stop speaking and move on, but the need to get his point across forced more words out of his mouth.

“I wasn’t- I swear I wasn’t asking that! I wouldn’t even want to know, that’s none of my business-“

He was babbling now. His face was red, this was definitely the worst outcome possible. For someone so clever, he felt like an idiot.

She wanted to stop him, to grab him by the broad shoulders and stuff his mouth with a rag. But in all honesty, the thought only made her giggle more. The sound vibrated through her chest, her hand reaching up to cover her mouth.

“No, Moony, I’m not shagging anyone-“

She replied through her laughter, leaning back against the willow tree.

“Are you shagging anyone?-“

Gods, is she still drunk?

She asked the question like she had asked him if he wanted a cup of tea, simple and nonchalant.

Remus’ mouth opened and closed, his mind completely malfunctioning. She looked so casual as she leaned against the tree, her eyes sparkling with laughter. He could feel his face heat up with embarrassment, and he mentally cursed himself for not being able to speak.

He was supposed to be eloquent. He was supposed to be suave. He was supposed to be sophisticated. This was a complete disaster.

“No-“ He said, still as flustered as he was before.

He paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts and find his words. The idea of himself in Sirius’ or James’ shoes, the endless charm pouring from his lips, being fucking cool. It made his stomach twist into a thousand knots. He didn’t feel like he was the same as them. They chose to embrace their Animagus abilities, he didn’t.

‘You’re so fucking selfish. They do it for you.’

He ran a hand through his hair, fingers tugging at the soft locks in agitation.

”I don’t.. that’s not something I..“

He couldn’t even finish that sentence, it was all just word vomit. He was stumbling over every word he spoke, and he felt like burying his face in his palms.

Juno felt her heart swell in her chest, the night breeze dancing through her long ginger hair as she looked at him sweetly. Like she always did.

He looked so pretty with flushed cheeks.

“Take a breath, Lupin-“

She replied, her voice close to a whisper.

“Where’s my friend gone? Is he in there? My witty, sarcastic Moony?-“

She asked, eyeing his ruffled chestnut hair.

He closed his eyes as she spoke, the sound of her voice a breath of fresh air over the smoke inside him. He took a slow breath, taking a moment to compose himself even just slightly. He felt her eyes on him, the way she looked at him, the way she called him Moony.

That last bit forced a tiny smile onto the edge of his mouth. He opened his eyes to look at her, letting his gaze fix upon her golden eyes and her glowing face.

“He’s.. in there somewhere.”

He murmured back.

His eyes fell onto her face, looking at her soft features, her smooth skin. His breath was a bit less labored, his heart still racing but at a less erratic tempo. She was so beautiful, and she stood here in front of him, close enough that he could reach out and touch her.

‘Red is my favourite colour now. Didn’t realise it before.’

“And what about you, McLean? Juno, Is she still there?-“

He asked quietly, his voice barely a whisper.

Juno stood silently for a moment, pondering the question herself. It really shouldn’t be that complicated, a simple yes would suffice. But she smiled, pushing her tongue against the backs of her teeth as she stared back at him.

Finally, she nodded, hair falling across her freckled cheeks as her fingers pulled and toyed with the cotton of her blouse.

“You bring her out, you know. From behind the curtain-“

She spoke, beginning to sound like one of Remus’ handwritten stories. Like she was covered in his ink.

He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. It was only a tiny smile, a fleeting moment, but it was there all the same, and it was genuine.

“I do? What am I, the magician then?”

He chuckled, a light twinge in his voice. He wanted to laugh, really laugh at her theatrics.

Remus’ laughter was contagious, like a deadly disease she would never want to be cured from. Juno laughed too, mirroring the twitch of his lips.

“Yeah, something like that-“

She replied.

“You’d look good in the top hat-“

She raised her hand a little, pointing to the top of his head, at the little tufts of hair that pointed in different directions.

He felt the grin that was growing on his lips, his head tilting forward as she pointed at his messy hair. He let out another chuckle, a real one this time. It rumbled through his chest, a deep and somewhat hoarse sound, but a sincere one all the same. He ran a hand through his hair self-consciously, the strands sticking up in an even more messy fashion.

“I’d look good in one of those capes too, I think.-“

He joked, his voice rough and low.

His eyes flicked back up to her at his own words, the tone of his voice coming as a surprise even to himself. He hadn’t meant the words to sound like that, that low and husky, but it had slipped out before he could stop himself. He looked at her, her wild copper hair, her freckles, those golden eyes that seemed to see right through him.

He wondered if she could see the desire that burned inside his chest. The need to touch her, to pull her into his arms and hold her and keep her there.

She nodded once more, lightly nibbling her plump bottom lip between her teeth as she stifled the bubble of laughter that inflated in her chest like a balloon. Remus’ hair, now messier than before, spoke volumes in itself. He could look worse and Juno would still look at him the way she looked at him now.

“We could do a traveling show, you could saw me in half or something, we can laugh at getting booed because we’re shite-“

Juno replied, rubbing a knuckle over her eye and accidentally smudging her periwinkle blue eyeshadow, glittery and messy.

Remus felt a small laugh tear its way out of his throat at her idea, leaning back against the tree trunk beside her. He gave her a side-eyed glance, his eyes flicking over her face and around her eye, noticing the smudged blue tint.

“Perhaps not the sawing in half. A bit too gruesome for my taste. I quite like you in one piece.-“

He said, his voice quiet but filled with mirth.

His eyes fell onto her makeup mishap, and he tilted his head curiously. He hesitated for half a second, then he found himself moving towards her. He felt like he was acting on instinct, no logic behind why he was suddenly standing in front of her. His fingers found their way to her cheek, his calloused thumb gently rubbing over the smudged makeup on her skin. If anyone saw them, there was probably a million different conclusions jumping into their heads, but Remus couldn’t be bothered with any of it.

It was one of the most intimate things anyone had ever done to her, despite it all. The simplicity, the innocence of it. It forced her to look him in the eyes, to soak in the warmth of his thumb and melt into it.

“You’re too good to me, Moons-“

She whispered, dancing her honeyed orbs between each of his earthy pools.

“You couldn’t even saw me in half?-“

She spoke again, unable to stop herself from spilling.

Remus’ entire being seemed to be hyper-focused on the feeling of her skin against his fingers.

“Maybe if you asked nice-“

He murmured in reply, his voice rough and raspy but dripping with genuine affection.

“Nah. Not even for money.-“

He added. He hadn’t really meant to do any more than fix her makeup, but the thought of pulling back now made his heart ache. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, staring down into her eyes, his thumb gently rubbing over her skin.

“Perhaps you have some kind of voodoo over me, you’ve put a spell on me or something.-“

He joked, his words only half true.

“And change the way you think? Never-“

Juno quipped, far too in love with his mind to even consider the option.

That’s how she knew she couldn’t be that selfish, or desperate. There was nothing more terrifying than losing him. Than losing this.

The night only became colder, nipping her nose and slicing her lungs with every inhale.

“Let’s go inside, yeah?-“

His eyes flickered over her face, taking in every small twitch of eyebrow and corner of the mouth, every tiny detail that made her who she was.

He felt as she shivered. He let his hand drop slowly from her face, grabbing her hand instead, his fingers intertwining with hers and almost recoiling from the frostbite.

“You’re freezing.”

He started to walk slowly, hand in hers, the warmth of his grip probably the only thing keeping her from turning into a popsicle.

He had a clear destination in mind. The Astronomy tower. He would take her up there, and they could sit under the stars, next to the muggle space heater Juno had managed to knick from her parents and enchant to ensure no electricity was needed.

‘Smart girl.’

Perhaps it was a cliche, in fact it definitely was. He loved the stars, and he didn’t fear the moon when she was around.

Juno’s leather shoes clipped against the marble floors leading to the Astronomy tower, her fingers clenching and unclenching in Remus’ large hand.

“Gods, so predictable, Moony-“

She teased, ducking her head down to slip herself through the small doorway. It was empty, dead as summer. The telescopes unused and rusted during the winter season.

Remus let go of her hand, and instead took a seat on the cold floor, his back leaned against the wall as he looked out over the breathtaking view. The night was clear, the sky full of endless stars. It was mesmerizing.

He patted the floor beside him, looking over at her, the smile still on his face, an encouraging look in his eyes. He wanted her closer, wanted to have her next to him, as close as space would allow.

“Turn that thing on, would you?-“

He said softly, his voice low in the dark of the tower.

Remus didn’t have to tell her twice.

Juno manoeuvred herself closer, swallowing her heightened heartbeat hoping to muffle the ache. She slid down the wall until her backside touched the floor, pulling her knees close to her chest before letting the leg closest to Remus flop down, resting against his thigh as she swished her wand, igniting the radiated heat.

“It’s nice,”

She started to speak, allowing the rough wool of his sweater to itch against her skin happily. What was nice? Gods, so many things about this were nice.

Remus felt her settle down beside him, her body heat seeping into him through their close proximity, and he had to force down a shiver before he spoke again, humming in agreement.

“It is. It’s very nice-“

He agreed, his voice almost a whisper.

He took his eyes away from the stars, slowly turning his head to look at her instead. She was so close. He could see the way her freckles were sprinkled over her face like glitter, and the way copper strands of hair fell across her forehead. Her eyelashes were like little brushstrokes, dark against her skin, creating shadows on her pale skin. Her eyes, those golden eyes…

He felt the ache in his chest return, more insistently than last time.

Remus’ gaze was felt before it was seen, burning into the skin of her right cheekbone, slowly flowing down the expanse of her neck and collarbone. He could burn her all he liked. He had been burning her for years.

“Thanks for waking me, in the library-“

Juno whispered, digits idly fiddling with the flesh of Remus’ knuckles, like it was a normal thing for friends to do. God, what was normal? Anything? Really?

Remus felt himself shiver, just a slight one, when she started fiddling with his hand, her fingertips gently tracing the skin. Why did he let her do this? Why was he letting her toy with his heart the way she did? Why was he enjoying it so much? Why did he want her closer until he couldn’t breathe anymore?

Why couldn’t he get her out of his damn nightmares?

“I- Uhm… It was getting late, I just- I-“

He mumbled, his voice catching in his throat.

He stumbled over his words, something he hadn’t done in years until this night. He was always cool and collected, he never stuttered, he always knew what to say. Not with fucking pretty girls, but- Why was he stumbling over himself now? Stuttering and mumbling like he was fifteen and had just discovered that the girl he liked existed. So stupid. He felt like he was fifteen. He felt like he was fifteen and utterly lovestruck and scared to death.

Juno knew him. She knew him like she knew how Butterbeer was far too sweet and how loud Sirius shrieked when he seen a spider. But surely, the heavens above would have told her what was chewing him up.

Either that or she was just plain blind. In denial. Maybe both.

“Moons?-“

She spoke, unbeknownst to her until she heard her own voice. She was looking at him now, drinking in the sight of him.

“Is the moon making you queasy?-“

Remus let himself look at her, taking in her freckled face and her wild hair and her lips, the way her lips moved around those words, around the nickname.

He chuckled lightly at her question, though it was quiet and forced, a weak attempt at normalcy.

“I feel like I’m going crazy...”

He mumbled without thinking. He cursed under his breath, his eyes widening a little as the confession slipped out. It wasn’t meant for her to hear, yet it had. He didn’t think before he spoke, his brain was just a big jumbled mess at this point. It was all her fault.

The air went still, like every gust of wind ceased to exist in the moonlight. Juno’s digits ceased their actions alongside it, her brows being the only thing to move, furrowing in response to Remus’ confession. But what exactly was he confessing to? Feeling mental? Everyone feels a little mental sometimes.

“Crazy?-“

Juno queried, leaving the moon behind to look at Remus. The money she would pay to sneak a peek into his mind was abysmal. Maybe she felt crazy, too.

“It’s not even half full-“

She spoke, pointing at the crescent moon.

He let out a soft chuckle, feeling how the air was thick between them, a heavy burden on his chest. He looked up at the moon, trying to look away from her, looking at the stars and the night sky instead.

His voice was quiet, barely a whisper as he spoke again. He had already slipped up, he wasn’t sure that he could handle it again.

“It’s not the moon-“

He mumbled, his eyes tracing endless constellations in the night sky. Visions of her back flooded his mind, taunting him.

He let out a slow, shaky breath, before finally turning to look at her again. He swallowed hard, his jaw clenched shut as he slowly spoke, his voice low and rough, and just above a whisper.

“I can’t even describe it-“

He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut and letting his head fall back against the stone wall behind him, his fingers clenching into fists in his lap, the knuckles white from exertion.

Why could he never say what he wanted? Why couldn’t he talk to her? He was a poet, for merlin’s sake, he should be able to find the words.

Remus was so full of life. So human. Not even his affliction could take that out of him. Or the ivory fangs, the large talons.

Juno wanted to write a book about him, or a song. She wanted to drink from his glass and leave a cherry red lipstick mark on the rim, and maybe then he’d kiss her when he was thirsty.

“If you don’t describe it, it’s lost to the void-“

She whispered, nudging his broad shoulder with her upper arm.

A shiver went down Remus’ spine at the touch, a breath being forced from his lungs as he felt the touch through his sweater. God, her touch was intoxicating.

He let out a dry, humorless chuckle at her words, tilting his head down a little so that his eyes met hers again. There was something in his gaze, something desperate, something panicked, something vulnerable.

“You’ll hate me for it-“

He mumbled, the words falling from his lips before he had a chance to stop himself. His voice was rough as he spoke, his eyes flickering over her face, watching her reaction, searching for a trace of something in the golden depths of her. Anything, a sign, anything that he could cling to that could tell him what she was thinking, feeling, how she would react when he told her.

The longer Juno stared back, the less she thought she knew him. He was carefree, light and focused, a stark difference to what she was looking at now. Nothing ever bothered him. Nothing was ever too serious, too hard. He stitched his own wounds with a steady hand every full moon, biting on a cloth so he wouldn’t wake the other boys.

She returned to the surface of her mind, shaking her head as she kicked off her shoes, letting them clatter to the side.

“Well, you know that’s not true, Lupin-“

He couldn’t focus on her words, every sound being swallowed by the roar of his own heart in his ears. He could only look at her. Look at the way she tilted her head, the way her hair moved with the slight action, the way her eyes bore into his with so much conviction.

His eyes followed her as she kicked off her shoes, taking in the way her skirt rode up a little in the process, and the glimpse of skin that was revealed.

“You don’t know that-“

He mumbled, his voice cracking.

“I know that, so uncomfortably well-“

Juno almost cut him off on his last syllables, injecting her words into the atmosphere.

“Something is eating you and I want to hear about it,”

She encouraged, stomach clenching at the puppy dog expression Remus seemed to sport on his face like it would cost too much to use it again. Getting his moneys worth.

Remus swallowed hard, looking down at his hands in his lap, watching how they trembled involuntarily, a nervous tick of his. He couldn’t see her eyes on him, feel the way she was watching him so intently, looking right through him, right into the darkest parts of him.

He knew he should stop while he could. Stop now and there was a chance that they could still be something that resembled friends. He needed to stop.

‘Stop. Now.’

He drew in a shaky breath, his shoulders hunch and tense as he looked up at her again, his eyes meeting hers, almost immediately regretting the move, like a shitty game of chess. She looked so open, so vulnerable, in a way that he’d never really seen her before.

Maybe he could try. Maybe he could be completely honest with her, and just tell her how he felt, confess everything, tell her what she did to him, how she made him feel. His heart was thudding so fast now it felt like a small bird trying to break free from a prison made of ribs. His hands were sweating. He forced in another shaky breath.

It hit him in that moment. That sudden realization. The cold, hard truth. It felt like a bucket of ice cold water, like he had been doused by it completely.

He was in love with her. All the way, 100%, helplessly in love with her.

At this point, Juno was on edge. Remus had pulled her all the way to the edge, far enough to see the waves below the cliff side, at least.

‘Gods, give me your pain, I’ll take it. Nothing hurts that much, right?’

She thought, running her tongue against her molars.

She didn’t say anything, this wasn’t about her. She didn’t need to make it about her. She lifted her pointer finger, circling the space on her chest where her heart lay underneath, watching Remus’ pupils on their travels. A silent voice, something that said ‘Say it, I dare you.’

Remus’ watched the movement, slow and graceful like the wave of a wand, yet powerful in its simplicity, in its silent message. He felt a shiver go down his spine, his eyes fixated on her hand, moving in slow circles on her chest.

‘I’ll carry it for you.’

The mere thought of speaking made him want to break down, run away and never look back. Fall sleep in the Shrieking Shack. Yet her eyes, her eyes were pulling him in, looking at him with so much earnest, telling him that he could. That she wanted him to.

And who was he to deny her what she asked for?

“I’m so fucking in love with you-“

Silence, ominous. Comical.

Suddenly, Juno’s head felt like a microwave oven. She wasn’t sure if her heart was even working. Maybe she had passed out from dehydration, or Sirius’ iconic parties have slowly turned her eardrums to mush.

She knew she was alive and breathing when she swallowed the saliva that had pooled in her mouth, amber irises focusing on Remus’ face.

“You’re so fucking what?-“

She asked, almost breathlessly, attempting to avoid her own expression in Remus’ glasses, focusing on the scar indented into his jaw instead.

Remus couldn’t help the breathless, almost humorless chuckle that escaped past his lips at her question, or the nervous smirk that spread across his face.

He had done it. He’d said it out loud. He should throw himself a party.

“I said, I’m so fucking in love with you-“

He repeated it again, each word spoken with a newfound confidence.

Now that the words had finally left his lips, he found that he didn’t want to stop saying them. He wanted to repeat the words, over and over, again and again, until they had burned a permanent mark on her heart, on her mind, on her soul, so that she would never forget, never doubt it.

If Amortentia was a feeling, this was it. Like the weeds had been plucked from Juno’s guts.

“Like, as friends?-“

She spoke, wide eyed and innocent.

She wasn’t bloody stupid, of course it wasn’t as friends. Well, it was, at some point. But not now. She had never felt more alive, like she was enough for somebody. For him.

Remus held her gaze, a flicker of amusement in his eyes at her question, the barest hint of a smirk on his thin lips. He wasn’t buying her innocent act. He let out a low, breathless chuckle, letting his head fall back against the wall, a soft thud sounding in the silence, as if to say ’really?’

“Like friends? You wanna play that game?”

He asked, a hint of a challenge in his voice. It was fun, trying to read each other.

“I’m so fucking kidding-“

Juno rushed the words out, orbs becoming half lidded as she quickly tilted her head the right way, capturing his lips between her own before she had a chance to hesitate, to question herself.

Suddenly, it was a rainy Sunday that kissed her lips, the taste of him like coffee after a large meal. The feeling went straight to her brain, dopamine in a nostalgic sense suffocating their friendship.

Screw it. They could call it something else now.

Remus’ eyes fluttered shut immediately at the touch, his breath hitching in his chest, his heart stuttering for a beat. Her lips were as soft as they looked, and he felt as if he were drowning in the feeling, as if he was sinking deeper and deeper into it, and he would willingly let it happen. He was quick to respond, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer, one hand burying itself in her hair.

It was a messy kiss, not really well thought out, but it was perfect, she was perfect.

She should have been gentler, graceful like a lady. How could she be soft when her emotions were so loud? Juno pulled away, just enough to breathe in Remus’ velvet breath, saliva mixed like a dangerous cocktail. She rested her freckled nose against Remus’ cheekbone, face flushed and heated.

“Did that feel right? For you?-“

She asked, an Irish whisper ghosting over Remus’ skin.

Remus let out a low, soft noise, a sound somewhere between a moan and a scoff when she pulled away.

“God, yes-“

He muttered, his voice coming out as a hoarse whisper. He tilted his head to the side, his nose brushing against her jaw. He was practically clinging to her now, like she was an anchor, and he was a wrecked ship bobbing around in the open sea.

Juno wondered if he had ever been kissed like that, or even kissed at all. Remus was never one to brag like the other Marauders, like James and his plum coloured love bites or Lily’s sheepish grin.

She ceased her thinking, Remus’ proximity like white noise radiating through her body.

“I love you, too-“

She whispered, talking into his messy, mahogany hair, fingers fisting his charity shop sweater.

“Not like a friend-“

She added, for the mere purpose of clarification.

Remus’ hold on her tightened, his grip firm and secure. He was holding on with everything he had, as if he was scared she’d disappear if he loosened it. The feeling of her breath against his hair, the sound of her voice, the words that had escaped her lips in that quiet, soft tone. It was everything he had ever wanted to hear, and more.

He pressed a soft, lingering kiss to the skin of her neck, his eyes fluttering shut again as the words left his lips in a low whisper.

“I’m all yours."

Juno moaned, shamelessly.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time-“

She muttered, the cold air haunting the moistened skin of her throat from Remus’ kiss as she dipped her head to meet him once more.

He tasted like a firework, like cinnamon and coffee creamer.

The way her tongue slipped into his mouth would put a Slytherin to shame, her wet serpent scraping the inside of his cheek. Maybe it was too dirty, or filthy, the way she slipped her milky thighs on either side of Remus’ lap, resting against him completely as her ginger hair tickled his face. Let the gods strike her down if it was.

Remus groaned at the sound of her moan, low and guttural, desperate and needy. He wanted to fuck her right then and there, the sound alone sending a wave of burning desire through him. Her weight in his lap made it hard to think, to focus, all his senses screaming for her.

He gripped her thighs, holding her against him, his hands slipping under her skirt. His fingers dug into her soft skin, a possessive move that he knew he would have to apologize for later. But right now, all he could focus on was her, the feeling of her skin, the heat that was radiating from her body, the way her lips felt against his and her tongue in his mouth, hot and wet and messy.

If Juno’s arousal hadn’t peaked hours ago by simply looking at him, it damn sure had now. Her abdomen clenched, lust driven by pure infatuation. Raw emotion. She knew it from the way her pussy had slicked, moist and sensitive against her underwear and Remus’ tented groin.

She whined involuntarily, digits twitching against the hem of Remus’ sweater. She didn’t even recognise herself. It was like she was someone else, living her perfect reality from the outside.

“Bloody hell, Moons-“

She muttered, not giving a single damn about their surroundings.

Remus’ breathing was picking up in speed, his hands roaming over her skin, mapping it like charting the stars, committing the feeling of her to memory. No words left his lips, only ragged breaths and soft moans and a litany of sweet, sweet curses that fell like prayer from his lips.

“F-fuck, Juno-“

He growled, lips finding purchase against her neck. He knew they were outside, and that anyone could find them any second. The thought of getting caught like this, with her in his lap, on display for anyone to see, was only fueling his fire.

His hands gripped her harder, almost painfully tight, as he left a trail of dark, purple marks down her neck and collarbones, marking his territory like a wild animal would claim their mate.

Never in Juno’s entire existence did she believe love could feel this good. This rich. She felt like putty in his large hands, or the quill she had bought him for his birthday that lived between his fingers.

She shuddered, shoulders slumping as she returned the favour, reddened lips assaulting Remus’ throat, fingers tilting his jaw back to lick around his Adam’s apple.

“Tell me-“

She swallowed, slipping her hands up his sweater to rest upon the toned surface of his stomach.

“Tell me what you like-“

In other words, ‘I want to please you. Help me do that.’

Remus was losing himself, drowning in the sensations that came from her touch. His head fell back, baring his neck for her, the sound of her voice in his ear driving him near insane, like Azkaban was as close as the corner shop to his home back in Wales.

He couldn’t formulate words, not like this. And she hadn’t even really been doing anything yet, and still he was already drowning in her, like a man on the brink of death in the desert.

“I.. F-fuck, I like a lot of things-“

He said between breaths. His words cut off by a shaky moan, his eyes rolling back for a quick moment at the feeling of her hands against his stomach. It was too much, and yet not enough at all.

He gripped her hips, pulling her down against his lap, forcing her to press against the growing bulge in his trousers, his hips rolling up into hers in a desperate attempt to get friction. The action caused him to let out a low hiss, his head rolling back against the wall again.

Juno could make an endless list of all the things he liked, in a normal sense. Christmas shopping, French fancies, chocolate. Gods, anything sweet. Such a big fucking kid.

Her thoughts were struck by lightning as her arousal ground against Remus’, the contact shooting pleasure into her veins like a junkie. The moan she choked out was ragged, far from anything innocent.

“S-Shit, Remus-“

She stammered, suddenly a virgin all over again.

Remus couldn’t think straight. The thoughts in his mind had dissolved into a haze, overwhelmed by the ecstasy that her body was sending through him. She was going to be the death of him, he swore it.

The sound of her voice calling his name was enough to make his blood run hot, and he pulled her harder against him, grinding his hips up against hers again, the heat between them burning like a forest fire.

“F-fuck-“

He muttered, his teeth finding her shoulder again. He needed her. Now.

He didn’t know how much longer he could hold back, being with her like this. He was so desperate, like if he didn’t have all of her, he’d die. The wolf in him would starve.

“Tell me-“

His voice was low and raspy, filled with desire.

“Tell me I can have you-“

Remus’ words only served to completely ruin Juno’s favourite pair of underwear, turquoise and lacy. The fabric most certainly darkened and damp. He was ruining her, scarring her soul for eternity. Hells, all those shitty books were right-

She nodded almost violently, breathing harsh and unsteady.

“Have it a-all,”

She whined, wanton and parched, digits tugging at his sweater.

“Take it off-“

She whispered incoherently.

Remus’ pulled his sweater off in a quick, desperate motion, tossing it to the floor carelessly, his glasses getting lost in the battle, not even bothering to think about where they landed. They were for distance, anyways. Nothing distant about this. He just needed them off.

His hands were on her again immediately, tracing the skin of her back, finding the zipper of her skirt and pulling it down, before his hands moved to the buttons of her blouse. His fingers had no trouble working the buttons, and he all but tore the fabric off of her when they were all opened, his eyes going dark at the sight of her in just her bra and panties.

His hands traced the skin of her stomach, slowly moving up to her chest, finding the lace fabric of her bra and fumbling with it before managing to get it unclasped. He took a moment just to admire her, his gaze roaming over her body, taking her all in, every inch of her.

“You’re so beautiful. God, you’re so beautiful..”

He whispered, his eyes roaming up to her face, his hands tracing a path over her thighs.

Juno didn’t even care that she was almost naked, that Remus’ warm eyes baked her bare skin in what felt like sunlight beneath the stars. Not when her own eyes, dilated and blown, admired every single silver scar etched into his torso like traumatic artwork.

Her breathing slowed, the chill of the February air caressing her breasts. If she was beautiful, Remus was magnificent. Magic.

Goosebumps formed on her thighs underneath Remus’ large hands, as she finally uncorked her mouth.

“Have you ever done this before, Moons?-“

Remus swallowed, shaking his head slightly as his hands continued tracing her skin. She was so soft, so warm. And her eyes roamed over his body like he was something special, like she truly found him enchanting.

Her question made the heat he was feeling turn into a blush that spread from his neck to his face, his breathing coming out in shaky exhales. He tried to speak, but all that left his lips was a shaky, low,

“No.”

He’d been with girls before. A few snogs here and there, and one or two of them had come close to going further, hand in the trousers, but it hadn’t happened. It had never gone that far.

“I’ve never…”

He started, his voice rough, almost hoarse.

“I’ve never done this before..”

He finally managed to get the words out, the confession leaving his lips in a shaky breath.

Gods above, if they even existed-

Juno had to refrain from smiling, padlocking the corners of her lips and maintaining the look of awe that she currently possessed.

Of course he hadn’t. He’s too good. Such a god damn gentlemen, was she even worthy of it?

“You’re killing me-“

She whispered, shaking her head all the while. It was an unconscious action, the way her hand lightly grasped his own and placed it around her right breast.

Remus’ breath hitched again as he felt the weight of her breast in his palm, his thumb starting to move slowly on its own, running over her breast, against her rose bud nipple, before repeating the movement.

“You’re perfect.”

He muttered, his voice almost cracking at the sound. No words could describe how she made him feel, how her very existence left him speechless. His other hand moved to caress her other breast, gently squeezing them in his palms. He was trying to keep himself from going wild, from letting the last bit of self control he had left drop completely, all while trying to not act as inexperienced as he truly was.

He had to stop talking to her like she had been the first to put petals on flowers, like he was threatening to inflate her ego that had been smooshed into the dirt for so long.

Juno’s mind silenced, distracting herself with the gentle moans that tumbled past her open mouth, before muffling the sound against Remus’ throat, tasting his salty skin.

“I’ve had d-dreams about this-“

She whispered, cursing herself for her futile words. This wasn’t the time for talking, but his voice was her favourite song. She wanted him to keep fucking singing-

Remus had to hold back an outright moan at her words, her confession, the thought that she had been thinking about him like this making his hard cock twitch in his pants. He let his hand move once more, down her stomach, finding the lace of her turquoise panties and gently pushing down on them, a silent question.

“You have?”

He asked, trying to push the words out through the haze that was making him dizzy. His hand went to the waistband of her panties, his fingers slipping under the lace, playing with the hem, his whole body screaming at him to just take them off and be done with it, yet he waited, holding himself back from doing it until he was absolutely sure she wanted it to.

His other hand went up to her hair, tangling his fingers in her ginger locks, gently gripping them in frustration, trying to keep his desires at bay.

“Show me. Show me how you dreamed about me.”

He muttered, his voice low and hoarse.

The sound that left Juno’s throat was more than unholy, it was down right sinful. She felt his fingers tickling her pubic bone, mere inches away from her blazing, throbbing flesh. She wanted him to notice the mess she had made of herself, the mess that he had made of her.

She swallowed, inhaling sharply through her nose, allowing her fingers to explore the wilderness of Remus’ tense stomach, kissing his scars with her fingertips until her nails clinked against the metal buckle of his belt.

“C-Could never say no to you-“

Juno whimpered, unsure if she had ever felt this desperate for anything.

Remus bit down on her shoulder to keep himself from letting out a moan. His hips bucked at the sound of her voice as she spoke, a shaky breath leaving his mouth. He felt like he was losing his mind, like the last bit of self control he had left was about to disappear completely.

“Take it, take it off-”

He muttered between breaths. He couldn’t wait any longer. The sight of her sitting in his lap, half naked, the sound of her voice saying his name, it was too much.

He fumbled with the buckle of his belt impatiently, struggling to unclasp it as his hands shook, before finally managing to get the damn thing open and pushing his trousers down his legs, lifting his hips. The feeling of his own clothes against his leaking cock was unbearable, only making his desperation grow even more.

He let out a low hiss at the feeling of his aching hardness against the heat of her, his head immediately falling back to rest against the wall again, his eyes closing for a brief moment to try and regain some control.

Tell another joke.

Nothing could have prepared Juno for the sight, throbbing and raw and red-

Huge. Like a fucking candy apple.

Her breath hitched in her throat, seeing him like this. She could only imagine the look on her face, unfiltered and genuine.

“Bloody h-hell Remus-“

She spoke as her voice cracked, digits slipping into the soaked material of her underwear as she manoeuvred her thighs accordingly to slip out of them, the fabric stinging against her sensitive flesh.

Remus was already gone. She was all he could think about, all he could feel. He felt her body move against him, and he opened his eyes again to look at her, watching her as her slender fingers moved against her skin, tossing her panties to the side like they were the only thing in the world that was keeping her from him.

“God, Juno…”

He mumbled, his voice almost shaking as he looked at her, his hands gripping her hips tightly as his blown pupils zeroed in on her slick flesh. Fucking delicious.

His eyes were roaming over her body as she sat there in his lap, her bare skin against his, and he once more felt like cursing God for making her the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful. You have no idea how good you look right now.”

He muttered, not even caring about the words coming out of his mouth.

To be the light in Remus’ eyes was more than a pleasure in itself, dopamine flooding her belly and swishing around for the fun of it. Like a high, a better high than any sort of spliff. There they were, as bare as the day they were born, just like nature had intended.

“I-“

Juno stuttered, enveloping her fingers into Remus’ messy brown hair, watching the way his throat bobbed.

“I think I’ll die if you don’t touch me-“

She confessed, dangerous and needy.

“I got you, I got you-“

He mumbled, repeating the words as he reached down between them, wrapping his fingers around his own veiny length as he tried to steady himself enough to guide himself to her.

“I’m gonna touch you, don’t you worry-”

Juno wasn’t fucking worried.

The words were barely out of his mouth before his hands were on her again, caressing her thighs, holding her in place as he pushed his hips up a bit, trying to find the right angle.

“Please, please-“

He was shaking, so damn nervous and yet desperate for her, needing her so badly he was about to lose his mind completely. He tried to steady his breathing, his words shaking a bit as he spoke.

“Just- just tell me you’re ready.”

Juno couldn’t let him go on like this any longer, second guessing and pushing away his own needs like he did every single second of his life. Everyday, giving up his seat and letting his coffee go cold for someone else.

She just wanted him to look after himself. To value himself. God, they were fucking perfect for each other in that way.

Words were futile, Juno had decided, as she let herself sink down slowly onto him, stretching herself out for him until she had made it halfway.

Foreplay was overrated.

“F-Fuck!-“

She cursed, fingernails painting Remus’ broad shoulders with crescent moons.

He was not prepared, at all. His eyes slammed shut as soon as he felt her around him, sinking on him so damn slowly, the feeling as she wrapped around him like a vice driving him mad in the most wonderful way. A moan escaped his lips, low and shaky as her nails scratched across his skin.

He couldn’t keep his hips still, a curse leaving his lips as he tried and failed to just stay motionless. As if by magic, it felt like her body was made for him, molded just to fit him, and him alone.

He opened his eyes after a few seconds, forcing himself to just look at her, to see her, the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. Her head was thrown back, eyes shut, pink in the cheeks and a string of curses leaving her lips as she adjusted to the feeling of him inside her. The sight almost made him cum on the spot, a ragged breath leaving his mouth.

“Look at me, look at me-”

He mumbled, trying to bring back his voice long enough to speak. His hand came up again, grabbing her chin and pulling her face back down so their eyes could lock back together.

Soulmates are a bunch of hogwash, right? Just something people believe in to feel better, more at peace when they’ve felt empty for too long. Juno was being converted at the speed of light.

Her eyes met his, with a depth she wouldn’t have dared to swim to before. And by the gods, was he the most magical thing she had ever seen.

“W-Whatever you want-“

She choked out, accent muted in the bliss as the scent of their combined arousals filled her senses.

“Just say it, Moons-“

Her hips jerked, untethered to the bounds of anxiety and fear, as she slowly started riding him. Slick. Soaked.

Remus’ eyes darkened as he looked at her, watching her ride him in desperate, shaky movements. He was trying hard to keep his composure, to hold back and not lose control of himself completely, but goddamn it was hard, when all he wanted to do was give her everything he had to give.

“God, I need-“

He tried to say, but the rest slipped right out of his head as he felt her walls clenching around him, his head once more falling back against the wall with a thunk.

Words weren’t coming anymore, or at least ones that made sense, so instead Remus wrapped an arm around her, grabbing her hips and keeping her in place, holding her firmly in his lap, her body flush his chest. He couldn’t look away from her as he planted his feet flat onto the concrete floor, finding the leverage he needed to begin meeting her movements with his own, his hips thrusting up into her as he moved.

He was falling apart, losing control, the only thing he could think about being how good she felt around him, how tight she was. Every sound coming out of her mouth making him push himself to give her even more, to drive even deeper, to just try and give her everything he could, anything she wanted.

“You like that, sweetheart?”

He managed to ask, his voice sounding absolutely wrecked, almost not even recognising himself.

The pang of ecstasy and pleasure almost pierced Juno’s guts at the sound of him, the innocence of his words, groundbreaking and oh so Remus.

She cried out, choking into Remus’ cheekbone.

“Love it-“

She whined, not a care in the world at this point as the sound of skin meeting skin was her new favourite tempo. She could feel the sting of her kneecaps scraping against the harsh flooring, her juices sticking to her reddened skin.

“Don’t stop- please don’t stop-“

She sounded like she was about to burst into tears at the weight of it.

Remus didn’t think he could stop if he wanted to. Her words were driving him completely insane, the sound of her voice filling his ears, the need to hear more, to hear her fall apart just for him.

“God, don’t cry, please, I got you-”

He muttered, holding her even tighter, one of his hands coming up to cup her face, his thumb gently wiping away the tears running down her cheeks.

“I’m not gonna stop, I promise, I’m not gonna stop-”

Juno was so blissed out she didn’t even realise the tears had fell until Remus wiped them away, smudging her makeup like he always did. Even now. She didn’t even have time to feel pathetic, as every stuttered thrust from him hit that gooey spot inside of her, causing her stomach to clench and her thighs to tremble.

“Y-You’re making me cum-“

She spoke the words urgently, like she couldn’t get there quickly enough.

“Remus!-“

She cried out, strained and broken as she fell apart in his lap, in his large hands. Her safe place, clinging to him like a childhood teddy bear.

He could feel her clenching around him tightly, her body shaking and trembling, trying to keep itself together, and he had to bite back a cry of his own, feeling her fall apart in his arms, around his length, driving him to the very edge.

“F-Fuck yes-“

He choked out, his hold tightening as he tried to hold back, his hips still working, driving into her.

“God, yes-“

He breathed out, struggling to form the words.

“So- so beautiful-”

He could feel her body trembling against his own, the way her walls clenched around him, bringing him ever closer. His breathing was getting faster, more intense, and he knew that he couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Gods, I’m gonna-”

He gritted out the words, his hands gripping her hips so hard they would probably leave imprints of his thumb prints. He couldn’t stop moving, his body moving on autopilot, chasing his release.

“Do it-“

Juno begged, point blank and purposeful. Careful wasn’t in her deck of cards tonight, she could think about that later.

She rode out the aftershocks, chest catching with labouring breaths as she grasped Remus’ by the jaw, anchoring him to look at her like she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Look at me and finish, Moons-“

Juno whispered, whining at the overstimulation of her fluttering flesh.

Remus’ entire body felt tense, like a string being pulled taunt, pulled to the breaking point but not yet snapping. The sight of her face, still flush from her release, her voice pleading, and the words that left her mouth sent him over the edge, his hips stuttering one final time as he buried himself as deep inside her as he could, coming apart and shooting ropes with a shaking moan that bordered on a soft cry.

His body immediately went slack afterward, the strength leaving his body completely as he leaned back against the wall, taking her with him. He slowly let go of her hips, not sure if his hands could be trusted not to hurt her, bringing them up to run through her hair instead as he tried and failed to slow his racing heart.

What was there to say? What was there to say when Juno could feel his release trickling out of her like a leaking tap, hot and wet against her reddened inner thighs? Juno didn’t know.

She slumped against him, freckled cheek indenting into Remus’ shoulder like it had many times before. His fingers in her hair, enough to remind her that he was still him, and nothing had changed.

“Hey, Moony.”

She whispered, amber eyes shut.

He hummed softly in response to her call, letting his hands run gently over her back, tracing the bumps of her spine and the shape of her shoulders as he focused on her.

“Hi, Juno.”

He mumbled into her hair, tilting his head slightly to bury his nose into the locks, inhaling her scent and letting it fill his head, like a drug that didn’t wear off, like a sweet fix that he didn’t want to let go of.