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I’m fucking crying 😭
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barty and james friendship be like:
barty (watching monty through the window): look at your dad. such a dork, keeping bees…
james: …
barty: i mean, at least it’s interesting though. at least, like- i wish my dad kept bees…
james: …
barty: i mean, it’s kinda cute- like, your dad keeps bees…
james (trying very hard to ignore him): …
barty: how old is your dad? i mean, he’s obviously bee keeping age…
barty: i dunno, i think it’s kind of sweet…
james: …
barty: …james, i wanna fuck your dad.
james: OH REALLY???
"marlene has a crush on euphemia" true.
but do y'all know who has the biggest, fattest, most insane crush on fleamont potter?
barty.
he met james' parents on a little gathering they threw for regulus' birthday and obviously he (along evan, dorcas and pandora) was invited.
guess what happens when barty daddy issues crouch jr. met fleamont "wow barty, you got 12 O's in your OWLs in fifth year, you're such a nice boy, im so glad we can welcome you into the family, son" potter
take a wild guess.
*At the police station*
Evan: Hi, I’m here for Barty.
Police officer: Who’s Barty?
Evan: Ah, you must be new.
James 🤝 Barty
Knife kink
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barty has a ton of alt accounts for stalking/leaving hate comments. sirius wonders why he has a chronic hater in his comments called “hornkus binglefuck.”
Dorcas: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Regulus: 'Prettiest eyes'
Pandora: 'Nicest Personality'
Barty: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Evan: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
slytherin-hear-me-out-game canceled becuz barty is just listing every black living and dead and regulus looks like he's gonna kill him
