Magneto Was Right

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

you're watching my dead wife montage but I don't do anything aesthetic like run on the beach so it's just clips of me zoning out at work and playing the sims in my apartment

kids these days don't know what it felt like to be bisexual and wear a stupid as fuck hawaiian shirt in 2017

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

far far away idol would never happen now

you could follow the genuinely funny poster who is going to be gone in 6 months, or you could follow me, the mediocre-to-okayish poster who's been on tumblr for 11.5 years and will be here until the flames finally reach and destroy the data center with our precious memories

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

dino saurs were not scary monsters they were mamas with eggs and when they drank water they were like fuckk yessss waterrrr

I can tell youre knitting with no love in your heart i can see the hateful intentions in every stitch.

it is like fucking spot the differences with you people

using violence to liberate people from sweatshops, unsafe mines, and grinding poverty isn't the same as using violence to impose those things on people. the idea that violence is morally repugnant regardless of context is a belief that every oppressor throughout history would love for the oppressed to hold

We just not going to talk about how he can also do pottery? With chocolate?

And stickers!

he HAS A not chocolate version of that god damned bowl right there! TAUNTING US, and holding the not pastries kiwis!

THE WAY SHE POSED AFTERWARDS HFKFBDK

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people