Mups

do you think of me when ur in your castle? playing with your sword?

pussy understander so they call me cliterate

I bet if a mushroom could lap water out of your hand with a tongue that a gently drinking mushroom tongue on your hand would be the softest and gentlest thing.

jesus christ, i experienced brief but severe grief over not actually being able to experience this.

I think it would feel like a lizard tongue but I've never had a lizard drink out of my hand either, and thus the whole thing remains conceptually elusive.

This makes me indescribably overjoyed.

october please be gentle to my online friends

november please be kind

december please be safe

january please be patient

february please be steady

march please be forgiving

april please be easy

may please be understanding

june please be queer

july please be vibrant

When I am king, we will valorize sanitation workers the way we currently valorize the military

So heroic posters showing trashmen battling allegorical monsters? I'm down.

Yeah but that's just the beginning. I also want Sanitation Worker Discounts at every business and blockbuster movie propaganda glorifying sanitation work. I want random people to salute garbage collectors and thank them for their service. I want drivers who get impatient with the recycling truck and honk at it and swerve around it to become social pariahs

words cannot describe how much i love showering. my wet contemplative box

i get high & start actn like joe biden

don't kill yourself you have to write mediocre posts online

thanks for still being here

im sorry but this is genuinely cracking me the fuck up holy shit