murder your memory

life is frying me up in a frying pan doing big impressive flips and everything

just remembered that my middle school bullies were named Chase and Hunter. what was up with that. what was going on there.

a banana that perfectly meets your ripeness and texture preferences is literally the best fruit on earth. it's a shame that this is 0.0001% of all available bananas

pfft what a fucking nerd let me sink down on you

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

i do not think therapy or psychiatry or medication or time can fix this, man. you have to take me out back. like old yeller

reblog this to pet the user you reblogged from please

i just need to grow my hair out -> i just need to cut my hair -> i just need to grow my hair out -> j just need to cut my hair

rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

i shouldnt be allowed to text girls i am crushing on i start saying shit like "yes maam" and saluting

kids by mgmt. and furthermore electric feel by mgmt