Labcoats and Lairs

we need to ban authors from writing stories about authors. it needs to end. we need to do something about this as a society. call your senator.

Large number of complaints about the modern world resolve down to "I want everything in one bag and I don't want the bag to be heavy"

I want the newest, coolest, shiniest phone they advertise on Instagram and it should cost $30 and be tiny and also huge and have every feature I could possibly want without thinking about it

I want my websites to allow me unlimited uploading of all data in high definition with zero lag or buffering, have every single person on earth available, with an easy way to see only the stuff I like and not anything I don't, for free with zero ads, with clear, straightforward moderation that gets rid of every Nazi and has zero false positives that also lets me tell random strangers and the people running the site to kill themselves, and I should be able to find it without doing any independent searching on my own because I'm too lazy to look for it

I want my girlfriend to have huge tits and a small waist and a fat ass and thin thighs and have clear skin and be a virgin and great at sex, likes all the stuff I like but not in the annoying way other people do, looks like she spends 3 hours a day on makeup and hair but takes up zero time in my bathroom, goes down on me but doesn't ask me to eat her out, has zero kinks except for mine, doesn't demand anything of me and is attracted to me for me, modestly hides her body from the public but also makes other guys jealous when I'm with her, is crazy jealous but doesn't have any other guy friends, wants three ways only with other girls, and also she approaches me in public so I don't have to do anything to meet or woo her.

I know this is due to my particular constellation of interests, but for me the funniest thing about the "everything in a given century happened simultaneously" view of history being applied to the 1900s is bumping into increasing numbers of people who are genuinely unclear on whether Dungeons & Dragons pre-dates or post-dates The Lord of the Rings.

tolkien had to call them hobbits to avoid running afoul of Hasbro's trademark of the word 'halfling'

It was TSR's trademark of the word 'halfling', Hasbro didn't get control of D&D until after the end of WW2.

can i get a monotone "yaaay" for kuuderes

you know, “It’s Fucking Meat” is actually a fairly plausible Earth Bet restaurant name

For the typical “gamer,” there is nothing unusual about spending upwards of 10 hours a year “gaming”

you put 3 of my favorite musicals on this…

welcome to body world (inhales shakily through my clenched teeth) a world where everyone has a body

Kirin white pops up and back with a flag to make everyone feel better but they’re all like, that doesn’t count. That wasn’t the same. That was the gas-station food of moon landings