Tina

Had a wonderful time visiting Cristina and Marco in Berlin. My second visit.

We all loved it. We averaged 20,000 steps a day. My feet are feeling it. The weather was perfect.

Our hosts were wonderful. Marco grabbed a car whenever our feet couldn’t take it any longer.

I love that there are plenty of plant based options everywhere.

And now we’re back and my brain switched to work mode as soon as the planes wheels hit the tarmac.

I’m taking today off to catch up around the house before back to the grind tomorrow.

I’m in charge of Easter dinner. We have ham w/ homemade glaze, potato salad, green veg, rolls. I’m making extra stuff for me. Tofu “ham” which I’ll use the same glaze. Roasted tri-color carrots with a labneh tahini cream and pistachios, braised red cabbage w/apples, garlic broccolini, tangy braised chickpeas, carrot olive oil cake with whipped cream and orange honey macerated berries, and rolls. I’m also making a small batch of cheddar scallion biscuits just because.

I’m tired 🥱

I used to go to the library a lot on the weekends when the kids were really little. The Chef would give me time away from everybody, so I would go there and look at magazines, read the paper, and browse the books.

And then I discovered Audible. And I pay for one book a month, and then I became a voracious listener. I could listen to audiobooks while multitasking. Then I decided I’m going to read one book. My goal was to read one chapter, and then I could go to sleep because reading makes me sleepy. But now I’m on a roll, man. I am reading books and listening to books. Sometimes I buy more credits. This month alone, I’m still listening to the third book in a series and reading a Stephen King novel to my almost 11-year-old.

I don’t have much time for TV any longer. I can’t find anything to watch. Anyway, we got rid of a lot of our streaming channels, and I now have one called Stremio. I’m not gonna go into detail about what that’s all about, but it’s very cheap, and actually, my son-in-law paid for six months and set us up while they were visiting. I think, for less than $30 — maybe even less than $20—something ridiculous like that.

It’s not easy to navigate, but I can pretty much watch anything I want from any other streaming channel, and even movies in theaters that aren't streaming yet. Pretty amazing.

But because it’s hard to navigate through sometimes, I don’t feel like dealing with it. And I’m a very tired woman now that I’m an athlete going to the gym lol.

So I’m making time to read more. And I’m really enjoying it.

So this is what I’m currently listening to:

 The Unselected Journals of Emma M Lyons - Volume 3

I just finished reading “A Marriage at Sea,” And I’m reading “The Lamb” and also reading Stephen King’s book, " Fairy Tale”, to my 11-year-old. I finished reading “The Last House on Needless Street” to him. I picked the book for myself, but then he asked me to read to him. It was mainly because he didn’t want to go to bed.

He told me he likes the way I read to him. And that’s my favorite part. Reading to him out loud.

I like all genres except romance. Way too predictable and corny for me.

Theo of Golden was really good, too.

Give me some book recommendations.

Making my comeback, again. 🤣

This is different, though. I can see a difference between going to the gym and working out from home.

I may be the only one working out with the KBs. I do get a lot of stares.

A couple of ladies were watching me, then they came over to the rack and carried on their conversation while touching and caressing them but didn’t do anything with them.

I did a lot of half getups on that filthy floor. And then did a couple of full TGUs.

I’m so grateful to be able to get up from that position with a 10lb weight.

I have to keep telling myself it’s a marathon not a sprint. And I’m super careful because of my back. It’s almost been 10 years since my back surgery.

I got bit by a mosquito. I’ve turned the A/C on. It shouldn’t be this hot already.

We barely had a winter. We had a week of ice. That happens every year.

But now, it’s hot. 🥵

I hate it.

Two nightmares. One I can barely remember but it was work related and I woke up feeling horrible. Wait, 3 nightmares back to back.

2nd one. I had to do a food demonstration in a class room next to a teacher at his desk. I had to leave the room for hours for something. Why? Who knows it was a dream. Came back and my food was under the table. Lined up on the floor in rows. Not prepackaged food. Like rows of olives, tomatoes, onions all outside of its packaging on the floor. I was livid and screamed at the teens trying to find out, Who did this ?!!!

More happened. But it was a dream. It doesn’t make sense.

Then lastly. Let’s see if I can remember…

Taekwondo- it’s been 20 years since I taught or took a class.

I showed up for a seminar and my dream nemesis was there. She was trying to sabotage me. Hide my shit. What shit? Who knows?!! Dream shit.

I’m panicked. I grab my bag. I have no snacks, no water and have 30 minutes to fill out paperwork, in pen!! 😱

Apparently that was an issue.

I go to a conference room that had ended their meeting I see water bottles! Yay! I’ll grab a water bottle. Because I need one. All of them are half opened and empty.

I find a liter bottle under the table. I grab it. I only have 15 minutes to fill out fill out the paperwork!

I sit at one the conference tables. Pull out the paperwork to start answering a long list of questions. They want my social media accounts. Fuck that! Starting with LinkedIn. I haven’t been on LinkedIn in years. I was hesitant to give them (who are these dream people?!) the information.

Then I realize I’m wearing jewelry! You aren’t supposed to wear jewelry in TKD.

I wear a lot. And I was freaking out trying to unclasp my bracelets. And then I was worried about my piercings?!!

And I’m not done with the paperwork!!!

I know this doesn’t make sense. This is a regular Friday night occurrence. Nightmares. Mostly work related. A Saturday morning relief knowing it was just a dream and I don’t have to go to work.

What does this all mean?!?

lol

It’s 6:30ish in the am. I haven’t started my workout yet.

I’m back in the gym instead of working out from home. So much better for my mental health.

I’m not upset looking at my 63 year old arms. I’m not even flexing. 💪

Can I brag? What looks like a piece of dust is a white hair. There are a few stragglers. But how did I get to be this age and have never dyed my hair?

lol

I’ve had a horrible week.

Over the last two years, my team has undergone several layoffs. It’s been a Sophie’s choice type of decision for the most part.

I’ve taken on some people I didn't interview and didn't choose to have on my team. Leadership added people to my team without my input or opinion. I had no choice but to accept these people and take them under my wing, but after working with them, I would never have chosen them to be part of my team.

With that in mind, in the past it was easy to choose people to let go. India has taken over many of our non-production positions, and I’ve been tasked with training them as a minor leader in the company. Why did I write minor leader? Because I’m leader when it’s convenient.

I’ve had to take cultural classes to understand my offshore teammates better. I really do enjoy working with them. I do know that this was a business decision for our company, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

This past week, three more people on my team were let go. While the fourth one will be let go at the end of March. I wish they hadn’t told me that. So I will worry and think about that for the next two months. I thought they were going to leave my team alone for a while. But no, three were cut, and of course, I had to be the one to break the news to them, and I actually got teary-eyed, and my voice was shaky. Not because I was nervous. Because it was heart breaking to me. HR gives you a script and I veered from it. It was unlike the other times that I had to let people go.

I still feel like shit and emotional.

I spoke with two out of the three people who were let go from my cell phone. We talked about how I would be a reference. I reminded the of things they accomplished to update their CV.

But they mostly talked about me and said nice things about my role as their leader. I sent a text to the third person. She didn’t take my call earlier, understandable of course. But later in the day, she texted me, making it about me.

They were the ones who were laid off, and yet they spoke so highly of me. 😢

In any event, I will be tasked with working with the offshore team to pick up the slack. Create SOPs, train them, and, I guess, supervise them.

I can’t turn my brain off. I’m constantly thinking and thinking and thinking and losing sleep and feeling the pressure to make things better for the production team.

I was told it was not my place to inform the production team that the people aligned with them had been let go. But of course, leadership didn’t tell these people, either, and they are already assuming someone was going to help them.

So I will tell them on Tuesday that they will be responsible for their own work until we figure out the best plan moving forward.

There is a part of me that feels like I’m on the verge of tears. Is it because I have 3 people left that I care about, or is it because of the pressure that’s gonna be put upon me to train the offshore team?

C - all of the above

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. I’ve just been busy professionally and personally. I hop on to occasionally read what everyone is up to.

Do you ever think about walking away from this site?

So let’s catch up.

My daughter and her husband from Berlin stayed with us for a month. It was a nice visit.

Marco has become an at-home bread maker. He brought me a sourdough starter, made us a lot of fresh bread, and made pretzels. 🥨

I miss my daughter so much. I wish she lived closer. She’s a maniac walker. I think she walks twenty to 30,000 steps a day. I had to tell her no 50 million times. I have my limits.

I was a bit sick while they were here with a nasty sinus infection and cold. Finally got over it a week ago, and now it’s back. I wonder if it’s the up-and-down weather we’re having. Two days ago it was 80, and now it’s cold again.

I joined a gym. I can no longer motivate myself to work out from home. I do it, but it’s not enough. I’ve gone several times now. I also joined a soul line dancing class. Before my daughter came to visit. I was googling classes near me. And I couldn’t find anything near me. My daughter googled, and she found one! We all took class while she was here. It’s exactly what I needed. I’m having so much fun with it. Almost everyone in the class is over 50.

I’m an overachiever, of course. I’ve tried to find the dances online so I can practice. That’s been so helpful. Everyone in the class is very supportive and friendly. One woman recognized me from my neighborhood. She said she sees me every day, walking and talking.

I was inspired to find a class after watching Jalen Goham’s line dance to The Gap Band’s "Early in the Morning" go viral.

Anyway, I love, love, love it. I especially like watching the men who participate, and when we all know the routine and do it together.

No, my husband isn’t interested, so I'm going alone. I wanted to meet new people anyway!

Christmas was fine. We were almost empty nesters. I actually was looking forward to it just being us two. But Vin was dropped off early. He could stand to be away from his presents.

We have zero plans for NYE, which is typical. I’m off work until Friday. I’m enjoying my days off. I’m really trying not to do anything for a change. Plus, I’m under the weather.

Ok, that’s it for now.

See you next year.

I discovered this viral line dance at 9pm last night. And I’ve been hooked ever since

It’s my new dance while I’m food prepping.

Hi Dad, the older I get the more I see my face in yours. I walk past your picture every day and hear your voice calling me by my names., Athena, Tina or mija depending on your mood.

I think we’re the same age as your picture.