And Darkness Rained Upon Them

my human vaporizing machine continues to mistify people

He settled on “I’m thinking we should start a fire in or near the house.“

the reichskrone looks like dog shit man

First season of FMA:B is actually unreasonably funny because every episode at the 2 minute mark Ed goes “remember Al we can’t let anyone know our bodies are metal and we committed human transmutation. Because the military will probably execute us” and then every episode at the 14 minute mark Ed is screaming at the top of his lungs about how he and Al are made of metal and committed human transmutation. And also the President of the Military is there smiling and nodding and not giving a fuck because Ed is the military’s specialist little boy and he’s expressly permitted to commit murder in the streets and do arson and treason and tax evasion if he’s got enough hands for it and that’s completely fine because, as previously stated, he’s their specialist little sacrifice boy.

And also the military already knows he committed human transmutation and they think that’s really really great. It’s their favorite Edward Elric fun fact.

youd think a band named violent femmes would be made up of violent femmes. but it isnt. its dudes

youse may bloody reckon a band name of violent femmes'd be a buncha sheilas after a couple bundy cokes. but it aint. packa blokes.

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

the funniest thing about 'computer, enhance' is that it implies that everyone in those shows has their computer set to Piece Of Shit Blurry Image Mode by default for no fucking reason

computer activate Useful Mode

I’m literally in my beast form going to bed

Stop calling the crumbs shit. None of you realize how hard it is to photoshop crumbs falling mid-air via a birds-eye perspective. They don't just have 'mid-air granola crumbs' on google, no one has ever thought of photographing that before. I had to color a bunch of boulders brown. I had to find images of various boulders and color them brown, whnich yeah, when I say it out loud, does make it sound like a funny euphemism for shit, but it's really more of a light brown color and it took a lot of time and effort, so stop.