cats are stupid i want 20,000

tumblr version of "you sir have won the internet. have an updoot"

man come on

i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,

formative years? aren’t they all?

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

In cyberwigan, it's a perfect simulacrum of gravy.

I love you guys but I think a lot of you are the kind of people who are susceptible to falling in with a cult.

You’re right. We should all band together under a trustworthy and influential leader who can keep us safe from outside threats

this is like in doctor who when they've previously recorded something to respond to a conversation happening in the present

It's not like I like you or anything! P-Pendejo!

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

i get that its popular but has anyone thought about how fucked up the truman show is? like it was really funny last week when he tripped over that bird but think about it... he doesnt know...

okay if you care so much then don't watch 🙄 people are always whining about the show but I knowwww you're tuning in. besides he's never known anything else at this point it'd be cruel to end the show. like what are they gonna do? just release him into the wild?

why is it that ppl hear "fetish" and immediately think "devoid of morals" like ur genuinely not making sense. ppl dont actually become inhuman and beast-like when theyre turned on, thats something we are told bc it aligns with christian patriarcal values, u know that right? desire isnt actually bad. it doesnt make you evil, or incapable of having/respecting boundaries

i got a response to this abt how men get horny and "lose their minds" and "causes" them to behave vile. i rlly rlly neeeeed ppl to understand that men behaving inappropriately when turned on is something they are *choosing* to do, and when you equate that to human nature you are enabling them and diminishing the seriousness of that choice

Jerry Seinfeld says that you could never do Seinfeld today but one time when I was really high I fell asleep and dreamed a new episode where Jerry came out of the closet as a trans woman and Elaine wanted to be supportive so she gifted Jerry a dress that she didn't really like but when Jerry wore the dress out she got tons of compliments and Elaine gets super pissed about it because she never got any compliments when she wore it but couldn't say anything because she didn't want anyone to call her a fake ally.

People know that the whole "don't portray [harmful action] because viewers might recreate it" thing is a rule for children's shows right? It's supposed to be shit like "don't show peppa pig playing with fire so we don't get sued if a kid watches it and burns their house down." Not like, fanfiction for adults.