We all change.

Plus general hookup culture where you need to stay pretty aloof and impersonal and gtfo within like four minutes max of finishing.

He can almost certainly talk him into receiving head because that’s “less gay” and everyone loves to get their dick sucked. Probably not giving any. Maybe some hand stuff. There’s no chance in hell of getting ass unless he’s way misread this situation and he maybe shouldn’t mention it if he doesn’t want him running scared.

It’ll be fun because the guy is hot and a hockey player and it’s forbidden but it’s not going to actually be good sex.

Only to be met with Shane Hollander, hockey prodigy, literally so earnestly desperate to be dommed and topped he’s insane with it.

Two minutes in he’s dropping to his knees giving the most passionate and clearly virginal blowjob on the planet and Ilya can’t believe the guy he’s been so fucking jealous of with his perfect family and Canadian good-boy shtick and professional accomplishments is just unabashedly gagging for it despite also having no idea what’s going on.

He’s polite he’s sweet he’s apologizing for coming in his mouth. He doesn’t get a chance to kick Ilya out.

Ilya pretends he isn’t thinking about this encounter nonstop. The next time he shows up it’s the same deal but not only does he not balk at bottoming, he’s been fucking preparing. He still sucks dick like it’s the meaning of life. He still gets giant wet eyes just getting to touch Ilya. When Ilya orders him to his knees he DROPS, not a second of hesitation. Ilya does not know what’s going on and cannot believe his good fortune.

He’s convinced he’s never actually going to get to hit that. It’s been two years, and two years as a wildly successful professional athlete to boot. There’s no way that guys still a virgin. There’s no way Ilya’s actually going to talk his way into his pants after this long.

But somehow he does? And Shane is somehow even more desperate and sweet than when they started if that’s even possible? He literally cries when Ilya touches him. He’s braced to be turned down when they get down to it since it’s the first time and he might need to stop or be sore pretty quickly but not this guy noooo he’s He’s making noises like a porn star if the porn star was the sexiest hockey player alive. He’s letting Ilya bend him in half like a fucking pretzel, staring into his fucking eyes, losing his mind. Ilya would be concerned for this guy fucking anyone else who might take advantage of all this because he’s so impossibly sweet and innocent but apparently no one else is touching him? Like at all? He’s pretty proud of himself honestly for keeping his shit together and making this a good first time and not scaring the guy off or coming too quick except Shane decides to finish off potentially the best sex Ilya’s ever had by coming completely hands free on his dick?? Ilya is legitimately SHOCKED he’s never made any guy do that before, he wasn’t even sure how possible that was irl, and Shane doesn’t even appear to realize anything out of the ordinary has happened. Ilya comes harder than he ever has in his life and is SHOOK this is not good no no no forehead kisses fucks like a porn star literally a virgin an hour ago Shane Hollander is DANGEROUS and must be avoided at all costs.

I think Shane should’ve realized immediately that there was no way he could continue being their captain after his “other life” was exposed. There is just no way to rebuild the trust. Not after lying for so long. There’s just no way they would ever trust him again. And you can’t be captain of a team if they don’t trust you.

I try and keep this blog a positive and respectful space and not invite too much discourse or anything on here but genuinely. from the bottom of my heart. what the fuck?

Like, are you really here trying to push the blame for the team's reactions onto Shane by saying he hurt them by not trusting them? Is that seriously what's happening here? You're saying he betrayed them by not telling them about his relationship with his rival? The man that has been the bane of Montreal's existence since he got drafted? You're trying to say that him hiding that from the team was the same level of betrayal as cheating on your spouse of a decade???

When will people realise that queer people don't owe anyone shit.

And why should Shane trust the team? He trusted them by telling them he was gay and then the rumour got spread around the entire league. Where would that rumour have come from if not the Voyageurs locker room? What about that tells you that he's in a safe space to be able to tell them about Ilya? What about that tells you that they're his friends? The league is already a very homophobic place, with slurs tossed around like second nature, just because Shane is out to them doesn't mean they're actually supportive? They allow Shane to exist as long as he keeps delivering results. As long as he keeps winning them games. And the SECOND he loses a game against Ilya, that's it for the team. He's not worth it anymore. They never considered him a friend or respected him any further than in a professional sense.

As someone who grew up and is still very entrenched in an openly homophobic culture, I am never going to reveal my bisexuality to my family or close friends. None of them. If I ever fall in love with a woman, they will never know about it. Do I know that they love me? Yes. Do I love and trust them with a lot of myself? Yes. Will I EVER trust them with this? Absolutely not. Because it's too big of a risk. And it kills me that these people that I love and adore will never know all of me. And these are my CLOSEST friends and family. And if one of them were to come out to me, or be outed against their will, I would NEVER be hurt that they didn't tell me. That they didn't trust me enough. Because why would they? Why would they ever take that risk? I wouldn't feel betrayed. I would be heartbroken for them and do everything I could to show them that I am still there for them, that I still support them, that I still love them.

You think Shane should have told his COWORKERS his biggest secret? You think he betrayed them by not telling them?? You must live such a privileged life to think that Shane would have been met with open arms. To think that the Voyaguers were mad or hurt because he didn't trust them enough to tell them and not because they're homophobic shits that took this as an excuse for them losing. To be able to blame Shane for them not making it through the playoffs. Not a single one of them, not even JJ, who was the only one who actually seemed to accept Shane's sexuality, reached out once he got outed. Not a single one of them thought about their supposed "friend" Shane, and what he was going through, if he was okay.

Shane, pacing in Ilya's living room and wringing his hands: Ilya, Scott Hunter knows about us we need to kill him we need to make it look like an accident we need to do it now