What's the use of titling?

Actually, no! And since several people have replied asked for my script for negotiating lower rent, I’m gonna share that below, as well as the philosophy behind it. Full disclosure that I’m not a leasing office person or a realtor or god forbid, a landlord—I’m just someone who has been a renter for 10+ years across different states, and I know for a fact that I have saved myself thousands of dollars by successfully negotiating a lower monthly rent on almost every lease I’ve ever signed. (Also, I’ve only ever rented in the U.S., so this advice may not be as applicable elsewhere.)

THIS!!! Exactly this. I didn’t mention it above because I just couldn’t fit it neatly anywhere, but once while negotiating a lease renewal, I got as far as receiving their counteroffer, which was basically “price firm :(”, but then life happened, so I forgot to respond and accept. The email sat in my inbox for a week. And then, completely unprompted, they magically replied again saying, “actually, nvm, how’s $[number that is lower than our opening offer] sound?”

To them, it looked like I was staring them down cold as ice like

(cw: rape, sexual assault, CSA, incest, domestic abuse, religious abuse, etc.)

The article, as you might have gathered from that list of content warnings, is about the widespread sexual and physical abuse in Amish communities and the way that their patriarchal and insular practices make that abuse almost impossible to prosecute.

I read that article when it came out, and that's why I went to a screening of McClure's new documentary, Keep Quiet and Forgive, at the Philadelphia Film Festival last month. We were also lucky enough to have a Q&A with Sarah McClure and it was really eye-opening.

(For those who want to watch it, I believe she said the doc will air on PBS next year.)

One thing I was really struck by when watching the documentary was the way that almost all of these women (and yes, a few men who'd been sexually abused by other men) had left the community. It makes sense; would someone still in the community ever talk to an investigative journalist? It's not likely.

Almost all of them had lost their entire support system when they'd spoken out about their abuse. Their families and friends shunned them. They got hate mail regularly from their former neighbors. Whenever they went to court dates, they had to face not only their abusers but their entire former community, who would turn up to support the accused in court.

The few who were still in the community were either going to meetings secretly or were largely being shunned. One of them, a woman who still identified as Amish but whose entirely community had turned on her when she'd testified against her wildly abusive husband, ended up leaving the community entirely by the end of the documentary. She looked so much happier.

Where I'm going with this, though, is that these people often lose their friends, family, and community when they leave. So they've started creating community of their own. The documentary showed a lot of meetings between former Amish women who would band together to support other Amish women through the process of leaving and testifying against their abusers. There were group therapy sessions where women would finally get to talk about what had been done to them. Conferences where they discussed future steps. Meetings with activists to create change. Podcasts by victims of abuse who wanted to reach out to others like them.

Groups like The Amish Rescue Mission are working to provide support to victims of abuse in Amish Country, including providing Pennsylvania Dutch interpretation services when necessary. There are lots of small survivor support groups on Facebook, too.

I don't generally add to posts, but I did want to spread this information, reporting, and list of resources to anyone who might benefit from them. I am no expert, but I wanted to link to some people who are.

It tastes like a pumpkin gingerbread cake! Great treat for fall and winter!

Tim Cain's Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins -- They're the shadow king's favorite!

1 and 2/3 cup flour

2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp cloves

1/4 tsp baking powder

2 eggs

1 cup chocolate chips

1 cup sugar

1 tsp nutmeg

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup pumpkin (half of a 16 oz can)

1/2 cup (one stick) butter, melted

1. Slow down at emotionally important moments.

Big emotions need space to land. If a scene feels rushed, pause the plot briefly to show how the moment affects the character.

2. Add reactions, not explanations.

Instead of explaining what a character feels, show it through physical responses, hesitation, or small actions that reveal emotion naturally.

3. Ground every scene in the senses.

If a scene feels thin, add one or two sensory details—sound, texture, smell, or temperature—to make the moment feel lived-in.

4. Let thoughts interrupt action.

A line of internal thought can deepen a scene without slowing it too much. Thoughts show stakes, fear, longing, or conflict beneath the action.

5. Expand consequences, not events.

You don’t need more things to happen—you need to show what matters. Focus on how events change relationships, decisions, or self-perception.

6. Strengthen setting where emotion peaks.

The environment should echo or contrast the emotion of the scene. Setting is not decoration—it’s emotional reinforcement.

7. Add specific details instead of general ones.

Underwriting often relies on vague language. Swap “they argued” for one sharp line of dialogue or a specific breaking point.

8. Let dialogue breathe.

Short dialogue exchanges without pauses can feel flat. Add beats—silence, gestures, interruptions—to give the conversation weight.

9. Show transitions between scenes.

If scenes jump too quickly, readers feel disoriented. A brief transition helps establish time, mood, and emotional continuity.

10. Clarify stakes early in the scene.

If readers don’t know what can be lost, scenes feel empty. Make sure the character wants something specific and fears losing it.

11. Use the “what are they feeling right now?” check.

After each major beat, ask what emotion is dominant in that moment. If it’s missing on the page, the scene is likely underwritten.

12. Expand scenes that feel “too clean.”

It didn’t register for me until recently that my experiences of being forced to strip naked multiple times at the mental hospital to be ‘checked’ when I was 14 was sexual assault, because the people who did it were nurses/doctors who clearly didn’t find me sexually attractive but instead used it as a form of humiliation and control towards children they deemed as ‘unruly’ and ‘uncooperative’ (ie. children who asked to be treated like people). I thought only people who fit into this idea of a child attracted pedo could be child sexual abusers, so I thought my experience didn’t count.

It's not as if Catholicism and Utah cults intrinsically breed pedophiles and rapists; it should be obvious to anyone who cares to investigate abuse that the trigger is actually a hierarchal culture featuring complete isolation and minimization of potential victims and a demand for a certain type of person to be subservient to their betters. Altar boys and nuns were being molested because people in power wanted to enforce their dominion over their inferiors.

Consider soldiers who assault children in the lands they occupy. Consider the countries sex tourists gravitate towards. What is their relationship with power?

Consider the way adults dress their children. Consider the way abuse is brushed over in close-knit families where everyone knows about it. Ask yourself why a straight woman who exclusively seeks out mature men and centres men in her life might also molest her daughter.

the FIRST figure skating backflip was performed by this guy Terry Kubicka

now Terry landed his flip at the Olympics in ‘76 and in ‘77 the backflip was quickly deemed illegal in this level of figure skating as it was considered dangerous and, some argue more crucially, couldn’t be landed on one foot, as is the required landing for all other figure skating jumps

Fast forward to 1998 at the Olympics once more and French skater Surya Bonaly.

It is widely discussed and disputed as to whether Surya was historically underscored by American judges. She won five straight gold medals in the European championships from ‘90 to ‘95 but couldn’t break past 4th place at two Olympics during this period of time. It was at her 3rd Olympic Games she pulled out her backflip and crucially landed it on one foot.

The one foot landing was seen as the big obstacle in the way of the backflip being legalised. That and its danger level. In the time between Kubicka and Bonaly however many skater had already added two foot landed flips to their performance routines (ie not scored competitions)

Some people see this as the moment the backflip should had been legalised in competitive figure skating. Many skaters had executed it safely and Bonaly proved she could accomplish the one foot landing. Bonaly placed 10th at this Olympics, incurring harsh deductions for the illegal backflip. The backflip was at no point considered in contention for legality despite Bonaly’s accomplishments, (one of which being the first female skater to land a quad jump at the Olympics). Her Olympic backflip was seen as a middle finger to Olympic judges and the stringently unprogressive nature of the sport. There were more moments than this throughout her career such as her initial refusal to mount the second place podium at the ‘94 worlds for reasons unclear. There are rumours of her ‘throwing tantrums’ or being ungrateful, and while this may be true, it’s not an uncommon sight in the world of figure skating, and given how black women are still treated in sports today, especially those that take physical appearance and body lines into account, it is undoubted that Bonaly faced racial bias during her professional career.

Surya Bonaly continued to preform her now signature one footed backflip in performances. And the backflip remained illegal in competition.

Within the conversation about Olympic figure skating backflips, there is one skater who may well be the most overlooked. The one who got the committees to legalise it! And that would be this guy, Adam Siao Him Fa

At the 2024 worlds he told himself if he skated his routine clean he would finish with a backflip, a move he had been practicing with his coaches despite it still being an illegal move. Fa did skate clean, and did preform his backflip, and so incurred the mandatory penalty of a 2 point deduction for the use of an illegal manoeuvre.

In a figure skating full circle moment, one of the judges on the panel for that competition, was Terry Kubicka himself. Almost 50 years on from his backflip he has since commentated on the irony of seeing the move he began in the 70’s and being required to deduct points for it. This two point deduction wouldn’t stop Fa from still claiming the gold medal that year. He preformed an illegal move at the end of a perfect routine and took the gold. Mere months after this at a scheduled review the backflip was removed from the group of illegal moves. It would not be granted any technical points like other jumps but would no longer incur a two point deduction.

Today at the Olympic Games in 2026, Ilia Malinin, thanks to these three (and many more performance skaters) before him has landed the first backflip at the Olympics since it’s legalisation.

So to wrap up.

First backflip (two foot) - Terry Kubicka - move made illegal

First backflip (one foot) - Surya Bonaly - move still illegal

Legalisation turning point - Adam Siao Him Fa - move made legal

First fully legal backflip - Ilia Malinin - flip still does not score points

In the future personally I hope to see the flip be utilised by more and more skaters, be given a score, and personal creativity to be more welcomed into the sport, because really we could have had 50 years of Olympic Backflips at this point.

as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”

small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.

"im on mobile" adblocking exists for mobile

"im broke :(" ADBLOCKING IS FREE

"im lazy" i truly sympathize with executive dysfunction, but this is one of those quality-of-life things you need to prioritize. 3 minutes of research/installation will save you a thousandfold in time and energy. it can even help with brain fog (most people don't realize how much mental energy ads actually steal)

"Adblock is free"

1. A lot of dudes. Just a ton of fucking people from beginning to end of the process.

2. Ancient people weren't stupid, they just figured shit out the same way we do: fuck around until you find out.

3. We're gonna plan this out and it's gonna take ten fucking years, and you will cope.

4. Sticks and string are surprisingly versatile and can be used for a variety of purposes, like moving stuff and making sure things are even and go in the spot you wanted to put them in!

A Polka Dot is coming to wish you a good morning! 

It also just. Has a lot of relevancy still today, and it's one of the things I recall most frequently when thinking about the efficacy of AI in the modern day. It's not about AI, it's about war, and weapons, and posturing of nations, and the way that secrets and hatred and dehumanization of our enemies and the increasing reliance on systems and automation, not just by machines but by humans told to act under orders and stripped of their agency, lead us into a future that no one is prepared for nor capable of preparing for, with the potential for devastating consequences. And it's a movie where you want to watch the credits all the way through to the end to feel the full impact of what you've just seen.

also +1 for having a character using forearm crutches throughout the movie who isn't a villain or treated as lesser, but instead as a highly respected, thoughtful, and considered leader. the crutches are never commented on, just treated as a totally normal part of his character. better disability rep then a lot of shit today tbh.

Anyway, you can find it for free on the internet archive, here: