nunya

get a job

everyones got that fic they chip away at like michaelangelo sculpting david. and brother? its penis month

asked my friends if they knew what i was referencing and they said no. we all know that post where someone divided how long it took michelangelo to sculpt david by it's size and went "yuuuuup. whole month spent on penis" right. sure, my search history is full variations upon "michelangelo penis month tumblr" to no avail, but we all know it. right.

Hi, that was a MBMBAM bit. But i see you and i hear you and i dont know if someone already said something

Don't mind the drunk post but fuuuck it feels so ggood and liberating to block so many people at the mildest inconvenience, your take doesn't make sense to me and I don't like your vibe, get zrased from my existence forever, you dont matter as much as you think bye

never hesitate to shoot that dumbass playing devil's advocate in your replies, you're making the world a better place

if hiphop weren't real its existence would sound like an exceptionally heavy-handed metaphor about racism from a really cringe didactic fantasy novel. yeah the racialized underclass in this society, the one that's constantly derided by the ethnic majority as stupid and anti-intellectual, they have a complex artistic tradition based around improvisational poetry which is sometimes enacted on a competitive basis for dispute resolution. you get judged based on the subtlety of your wordplay and the complexity of your internal rhyme schemes. the dominant group periodically gets mad about how this doesn't count as real art like their own objectively more simplistic music and poetry because sometimes it has swears in it

I talk to basically everything as if it's a person. I greet passing crows as my "cousins." I respond conversationally to my cats. I yell "same to you!" when inanimate objects make loud noises. I say good morning to plants. I thank my phone when an alarm goes off. When objects don't act the way I want them to I explain what I need them to do, or tell them they're being rude. I tell my car when we're stopping for gas.

I reassure credit card readers who are struggling that I know they are doing their best. Bless you, you funky lil machine, I'm sorry my dad is part of the reason people hate you. :(

I'll be stealing that one and that one and that one, thank you very much!

Rocky probably thinks it's so funny that he can block Grace's line of sight and boom, Grace just can't see something.

every since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to aimlessly wander a blighted landscape