Alyssa

was so well-behaved the dentist let me put my fingers in his mouth too

sorry boss can't come in today i was on my way to work and then a gentle spring breeze kissed my cheek and reminded me it is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.

you have a headache because you have powers

they hate me because the years of memory loss has purified my mind

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club

Why the fuck are you suggesting putting CHILDREN in a club?

So they can sip grey goose, maybe have a cig, and feel the rhythm? Are you the fun police?

unironically love the phrase “but I’m being so brave about it” because truly, like, what other choice do we have in this wretched existence? what a beautiful way to remind yourself to keep going, even if only out of spite