the prince has begun practicing curtseying in the mirror. which could mean nothing.

we have good news and bad news, my liege. the good news is that we now know what that curtsying was about: you will be pleased to know that, after several heartfelt conversations between your child, the court jesters and a myriad of singing woodland creatures, you are now the parent of a proud and joyful new princess. the bad news is that, due to a series of events related to the dragon-sized hole in her bedchamber wall,

happy holiday to those who celebrate

This is even worse/funnier because actual Chinese people are memeing about parallels between the current state of the USA and the decline of the Qing dynasty

contender for all time 4chan post is the /biz/ one "what do you mean someone has to buy for me to sell?"

aye can i get uh………ingredients on my burger

beetroot?

you want beetroot?

you want fucking beet root?

ingredience

getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled "hey stupid! the bus is that way!" very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes

one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went "this bitch thinks she's on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom."

Everclear is what we have instead of universal healthcare.

Wound cleaner, anaesthetic, surgical instrument sterilizer, and post-surgical cleanup, all in one convenient bottle

Plus, what an absolute baller move to announce your regnal name as William the Last.

the Final Bill

told my coworker “they’re accusing the chivelord of chive fraud” and it turns out she doesn’t know what any of that means and i look crazy

HE CONFESSED TO THE CHIVE FRAUD

this is like if perry the platypus was the villain and heinz doofenshmirtz was the secret agent