Tetia’s telling you to lock tf in
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@monkeywithagoldenring
Tetia’s telling you to lock tf in

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Friend: dude could I have some of your fries
Me: ( assenting hand gesture, managmaniously): until you are satisfied
a number of years ago when I was at Boy Scout Camp, someone shared this bit of trivia. Within days, it had become a competition, the entire camp overrun by elbow licking. See, the thing about it is, if you're aware of the licker, you can feel it. But if you don't know someone is doing it, you legitimately cannot feel the lick. So for the rest of the week, you'd spot kids sneaking up on each other, attempting to lick elbows unnoticed. It was wild.
When my younger siblings were still 11 and 8, our family stayed in a couple of cabins with four other families who had kids in the same age group. So there were a dozen or so kids running around living their best feral lives, and licking elbows became The Activity—double prestige if you licked an adult’s elbow.
So that’s why a bunch of parents rubbed jalapeño juice on their elbows
…and why our family still says ‘these elbows are spicy!! You have to sniff them first!’
Licking his cunt like it's stamps.
Is that anything?
WAIT.
LICKING HIS CUNT LIKE STAMPS BEFORE I DELIVER MY PACKAGE TO HIS BOX.
okay so I know we only have two data points (Magnus and Barry), but what if all the human last names on the IPRE homeworld were actually a little silly. like in d&d lore it's usually gnomes that are supposed to be the silly ones, but what if humans got to be the silly ones on the two-sunned planet. as a treat. what if it was actually pretty common for human last names in general, not just Bluejeans or Burnsides, to take the form of "[silly adjective or verb] + [silly plural noun]" in a sort of portmanteau, that also has a ring to it as a conjoined phrase
are you still with me? do you follow? okay, good. I would now like to pitch to you that Lucretia's last name, canonically, could very plausibly be Adventurezones

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why did you people come up with russian names for what is supposed to be a movie set in italy. what was the thought process here. why does she sound like she walked out of a tolstoy novel
an insane response, but i can't fight this. carry on
im being hunted for sport in the notes
i'm in agony, SOMEbody please help me remember what the childhood book series was that centered around critters that looked like this:
IM IN HELL WHAT WAS IT
Little Critter?
THATS THE BITCH
alright smart-aleks, what about THIS one huh?? the dude had a really cool shading technique where he just swirled (colored pencil?) around??
Parts :)
YOU GUYS ARE TOO GOOD AT THIS WHAT THE HELL
ok my partner wanted in on this, I have no idea what this is
I GOT YOU
i'm never leaving this fucking site i stg i love you all.
OK
final one
for all the marbles,
this one doesn't have an illustration bc i think it was just a kids novel but i haven't been able to find ANYTHING about it on my occasional internet queries:
kids is staying with his (grandmother?) in the woods and she warns him not to look a fox in the eyes bc they're tricksy and will swap places with you. obviously that's the first thing the little boy does and gets body snatched by a fox who uhhhh proceeds to pig out with his new little boy human hands and the boy has to trick the fox into looking him in the eyes again to switch back...
thats all i got, it's an older book i wanna say from the 60's?? 70's?? kinda the same jist of "Little Rascal"
perhaps this?
A DECADE OF SEARCHING THANK YOU @dyketennant IM ORDERING THIS IMMEDIATELY
*walks up to a couple* so which one of you is the cheetah and which one of you is the golden retriever who keeps the cheetah from stressing themselves to death
the average red state is closer to Sharia Law than Zohran’s NYC

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you may think misogyny is good because it is made up of miso, which is delicious, and gyny, which is woman. and girl miso sounds great. but 👆 it is not girl miso
"Miso" is Greek for "hatred". "Gyny" is Greek for "woman" Misogyny literally means "hatred of women".
The word "misogyny" is always associated with the unnecessary hatred and abuse of women. No one ever thinks about this word in a positive light.
will you ever forgive me
jesus christ did i fucking kill them im sorry
you may think homicide is good because it is made up of homo, which is gay, and cider, which is delicious. And gay cider sounds great. but 👆 it is not gay cider
So every year, my aquarium does a captive lobster hatchery project (hence all the loblings). The reason we’re doing it is because in the wild, loblings only have a 1 in 25,000 chance of surviving their larval phase. They’re plankton as babies and everything eats them. Additionally, as the Gulf of Maine warms, they are having even lower survival rates because the blooms of copepods they feed on as babies are happening earlier in the year, and they’re missing it.
Obviously, the goal of this experiment is to grow the lobsters until they’re big enough to settle to the seabed and then release them, because they have a much higher likelihood of surviving to adulthood when they’re able to hide. Ideally, captive lobster hatcheries can boost the wild population and keep things stable, so we don’t have a major crash in a decade or two.
The first year we tried this was pretty bad. We had a lot of eggs, but very few babies. It turned out that the CO2 levels in the building spiked as more guests visited throughout the summer, and that settled into the water and threw off the pH and caused a chemical reaction that prevented a lot of the eggs from hatching. I think we ended up releasing three baby lobsters (which is still better than their wild survival rate but not great).
The second year was a little better. We added a de-gasser to the aquarium and got a ton of larval lobsters, but right as they were settling to the bottom we had a disease outbreak that killed most of them. We ended up releasing four babies at the end of the season.
But this year? Oh boy. We have so many lobsters that we had to release the first round early (usually we wait till September or October so guests can see them). We just released a total of FIVE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE baby lobsters, and we still have over a hundred who haven’t settled to the bottom yet. I genuinely don’t even have words to explain how cool this is. OVER FIVE HUNDRED. We just added hundreds of lobsters to the wild population that wouldn’t have been there otherwise.
Conservation is so fucken sick
Our cats never attempt to escape or go outside. We yoinked them from out there. They know the struggle.
Out there they would be dodging cars and coyotes. In here they get free food and belly rubs. Fair trade for not being allowed to eat bees anymore.
One terrifying day I accidentally left a door open and when I remembered and ran back to close it they were both just staring at the door and they looked back at me like why is the portal to the badlands open? Close this immediately.
“can’t believe women fought to work!! i don’t wanna work!!” women have Been Working they fought to get Paid you know that right ?

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I hate autoplay what do you mean I've been listening to god in my sleep