Tadc spoilers under the cut and just uhm yeah (im also gonna vent a little bit about an interaction i had after getting excited...)
My initial thoughts on the episode are in these screenshots, tldr i genuinely really liked it and loved the direction it went and i very genuinely dont see what people hate about it
...now here's the upsetting part
I shared all this and was extremely excited, this is a few hours ago by now and... I was so excited to share my thoughts and help my friends with understanding the show since they apparently kept coming up with things to nitpick at
I was over here being excited and giving them reasons and explaining things i had to work with from canon for filling in what they called "plot holes" (they just didnt pay as much attention the whole show and dont pick apart shows they like)
Ok yeah heres the par I actually get upset at. I dont realize theyre trying to hate and just have reasons to hate everything about the show even though they claim to like it until im accused of glazing. Which I'm not? Im just excited and wanted to explain and help my friends understand it!
But I... I'm not even sure if they're my friends anymore. I kin multiple characters from tadc and one of which being the strongest is Jax. ESPECIALLY with his past. Its extremely similar to mine, but when i was getting accused and still was trying to explain I just
I think they just hate ME. They hate Jax, people are cheering for his death, but hes all the worst parts of me. My trauma, how i view myself, my past, the plural coding (or. At least thats what i interpreted it as, i can screenshot when im not about to sob at 1 am), the reans fem (I wish I was transfem sometimes but being feminine is so dysphoric for me and I'm transmasc and I'm ridiculed and looked over and shamed enough as is for that so I cant even properly express it without being told to kms...), but then the biggest thing was. Jax abstracting off screen makes perfect sense. He wouldnt want anyone to see and they of course would show the audience because it both doesnt matter how it happened, and we the audience usually follow pomni since she and jax are the main characters. To me. It felt like an allegory for suicide because of being trapped in a body that doesnt feel like you and past trauma and being unable to heal from it, all these built up things as well and it makes sense. Especially when you take into account his last words were (i believe I may be paraphrasing a little) "I don't wanna go"
That's very reminiscent of what people feel right before going through with their attempts. I say this as someone who has survived multiple.
To move on to another point that contributed to me sobbing because of these friends... Not sure if i should be calling them that at this point, was one of them claiming Caine is their favorite while simultaneously saying they wished he'd stayed as rhe villain. What? He.. was never the villain? You ONLY liked him because he was the villain? It sure as fucking hell comes off like that. I love Caine and hes my favorite and hes never once been the villain, the antagonist sure but Jax falls into that as well. Things arent as black and white as they seem.
...long story short I suppose... Im not sure if i continue being friends with these people because, just... Everything they said and I was sobbing, they didnt bother to check in on me. I was using emojis I only use when I'm upset or sobbing. It, from my end and screenshots i showed others, seemed obvious from my text that I was sobbing.
No one bothered to reach out.
So I suppose I doubt they'd never care if something did happen to me, as much as they claim to since no one has contacted me since I muted the server almost 8 hours ago now.
Jax is the worst parts of myself that I try to hide and if people are cheering for his abstraction? Then in my opinion they wouldn't actually care if something did happen to me.
Thats it. Thats all i have. I'll go before I start sobbing now.
I cant explain why i kin and feel to personal to these characters on a deep level without genuinely being admitted to a mental ward, I've been threatened with it before and yes I'm already in therapy. It can sometimes only do so much.
Anyways. Fuck everyone who claims the show and finalie are bad. Genuinely fuck you. You didnt understand the story they were trying to tell and you DONT know better than Goose about her own story thats based on herself. Fuck so far off.
And I'm honestly? Going to start blocking people. So yeah. I hope they dont see this but at the same time, I'm so tired of fucking masking...
