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My favorite rejected New Yorker submission

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ilovecats4ever

im sorry you got stuck behind the funniest person on the planet

membraneshock

rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

fuckyeahcoelacanths

radiofreederry

sjweminem

she sauce on my scrod till i'm a New Man

plesiosaurchestra

EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER

duckdotcom

guy who turns into a glass of milk when he gets angry and girl who turns into a plate of cookies when she's upset having a bitter argument with each other next to the chimney on christmas eve at 11:59 pm

king-of-fuffies

#2735641 original posts remain

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andmaybegayer

oh fuck I thought the intro to today's Money Stuff was going to be a metaphor for some crypto bullshit but no an actual metals futures market was backed by actual bags of rocks.

andmaybegayer

Swiss trader Mercuria Energy received spray-painted rocks instead of $36 million worth of copper it had ordered.

Ea Nasir Bullshit

phluphfy

THEY LITERALLY VAGUE EA-NASIR IN THE ARTICLE ITSELF ASDFGGHKGJKLSH

headspace-hotel

itznarcotic

lavenderlemniscate

inaccurate, they will survive.

shaddy-bee

Playing catch :)

tonyalmeida

shacklefunk-deactivated20220623

the dogs wouldn’t stop getting in my dads gross chair so he carved this weird sculpture of his own frowning face with a chainsaw and puts it on the chair when he’s not sitting in it. the dogs are scared of it

supermariomamafucker

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ryangoslingofficial-deactivated

40mancer

They’re parachuting into a warzone and they’re infantry so it’s not a war crime if machine gun fire takes them out. This is likely the last words they spoke to each other

ryangoslingofficial-deactivated

never thought of it like that, thats insane. god bless our soldiers

kushblazer666

cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024

masks and helmets that hides someone's face in such a way that they become the face themselves my beloved

these are all creatures to me

androidboy

poetry equivalent of

punkitt-is-here

new fav interaction ive had

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foreveriallyzombified

The biggest ever evidence for the “haters are truly just jealous“ theory is When everyone was dunking on these delightful images of jack Nicholson enjoying a delicious hoagie in a boat and then jumping playfully into the sea. there is honest to God nothing I would rather be doing than exactly this. any man who claims this is lame or that he looks gross in any capacity is lying, & seething with jealousy

foreveriallyzombified

spindash

CAME OUT OF MY DADS PRINTER AT WORK TODAY..........

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