jeeves' spirit endures

You hook up with me for a one night stand and see me on grindr four years later. In the background of my photo is a fishtank. One of the fish has your face.

in the future humans will have something called "sinus button " and pressing it will immediately drain your sinuses of all fluid so that it can be filled with other things like rocks, webs, paint, tar, freef (new fluid that will be so important in that time) and also dr papper

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

Yeah i dont think i can take any more madness/pain

The most sexual thing on this earth is the free online tool