carl jung girl you were so right about avoidance

“if we don't accept our own destiny, a different kind of suffering takes its place: a neurosis develops, and I believe that that life which we have to live is not as bad as a neurosis. if I have to suffer, then let it be from my reality. a neurosis is a much greater curse! in general, a neurosis is a replacement for an evasion, an unconscious desire to cheat life, to avoid something. one cannot do more than live what one really is. and we are all made up of opposites and conflicting tendencies. after much reflection, I have come to the conclusion that it is better to live what one really is and accept the difficulties that arise as a result-because avoidance is much worse.”

Carl Jung, Analytical Psychology: Its Theory and Practice (The Tavistock Lectures)

do men have resting bitch faces as well or do they not have negative characteristics ascribed to them for putting on a neutral rather than a deliriously happy facial expression

This is such an amazing response.

Yep. Society in general puts more scrutiny on you the further it percives you from the norm. There is also a huge cultural element too though, in regards to smiling/facial expressions spesifically. I struggle personally in situations where you’re supposed to smile, because I am not skilled at it, but blessedly, a lot of situations here do not ask for it. In any “neutral” situation, the expectation is actually a neutral/sad expression. If you’re sat on the bus there is not a sad expression you could have on your face, short of flowing tears, that would get more than a cursory glance, no matter who you are, while a toothy grin would raise eyebrows. On the other hand, if you look like a local and you violate the norms, such as talking particularly loudly on the bus, you only draw a few annoyed glances. If you look far from the norm, you draw many more, and perhaps unsavory comments half-whispered between other passangers. I have yet to see action taken, or even a verbal confrontation though. Still, the point remains; Deviation from the norm or acceptable/desired outer apperance greatly amplifies negative reactions, and often mutes positive ones. (though not always, actions percived as positive spesifically for conforming to desired/normative behaviour can be amplified instead. FRX a foregin looking person cheering for the local team can garner a large possitive responce than it would if done by a local.)

The older I get, the more I come to realize my biggest fear is just living a mediocre life where I am a slave to my anxiety and self doubt. It is so paralyzing and I know it is only I, that can give myself the opportunity to experience more. Nothing matters more than the chances you can give yourself every day to try again.

“My biggest fear is just living a mediocre life” !!!!!

i know i've said this before but i'm going to say it again because the more i work with geriatric women the stronger i feel about the fact that the only anti-aging that women in their 20s/30s should be obsessed with is building strong bones and muscle mass. that's like the most important thing you can you can do right now to lay a good foundation for healthy aging. you can botox the shit out of your face but that's not going to do anything to save you from dying prematurely from a fatal hip fracture that you can't bounce back from because you didn't do anything to prevent yourself from becoming frail and breakable. like i know that sounds harsh but that is reality for a lot of older women and i don't want that to be you.

Also, strengthen your back (especially your lower back) and your knees to prevent chronic pain from muscle weakness in those areas, and regularly practice getting up off the floor from a lying position.

Someone told me once that the biggest predictor for healthy aging (absent other internal factors, like cancer or heart disease) was the ability to get up without using your hands. Ever since I've practiced to the point that I can get from full prone on the floor to standing without having to push myself up off the floor, and I make sure to do it several times a day. It's amazing how much more confident I feel about my body and what I can do with it when I have that baseline to fall back on.

I am begging you guys to build your muscle strength at 20. That is an investment you absolutely cannot put off. You'll pay for it dearly in your old age otherwise.

Claim it: 2026 is going to be great for your mental health.

resist the urge to self-isolate, girl. people want you around. people don't think you're faulty. you're allowed to be wrong and make mistakes and missteps and people won't reject you for it. don't self-isolate. nobody in your life wants you to self-isolate. don't do it.

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.