manic pixie barbie girl

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

I think you need hobbies that do all four things but the number of hobbies needed to cover all these needs may vary. Some hobbies pull double/triple duty. Some hobbies can cause repetitive stress injuries so it's good to have a few different ones that fulfill the same need so you can rotate to get the fulfillment without the carpal tunnel.

once in my sixth hour we were talking about 9/11 and i announced very loudly “more people died in hurricane maria than in 9/11 but nobody really cares because you can’t use hurricanes to justify imperialism” and then not even 5 seconds later i said “yeehaw my beets.”

man and you were only six hours old

interesting fact i have titanium in my spine

dude got hit with the ol’ Lorum Ipsem beam😞

Fun fact! Titanium is often used for medical implants because it's *dodges lorem ipsum beam* because it's strong, nontoxic, won't corrode inside the body, and best of all, *dodges* bone will directly grow onto it! This is called "osseointegration" and it means that your titanium artificial hip, dental implant, or whatever will have greater *dodges* greater mechanical stability and will ARRRGGH! aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit!

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush