Do you even remember the old you? The one that would get anxious and stir-crazy every month, who would like clockwork feel an existential crisis that always seemed to start right around ovulation time? The one that hated that soft little pudge around her midsection that never seemed to go away no matter how dieting or running she did?
For the past 8 months you've gotten to be a different version of yourself: a calmer, happier, fulfilled version. Each and every day over the past months you've woken up in a body that feels complete, that feels optimized, with the gentle fullness that you now constantly experience a wonderful replacement for the years of gnawing, empty uncertainty that used to radiate from your empty womb.
This version of you isn't just at home in her new body, she revels in it. At last you understand the purpose and the beauty of being big, and the awareness that yes with each passing moment you are still growing, filling you with both pride and deep arousal. Each morning you wake up and stare at your naked, pregnant form in the mirror, your eyes trying to capture just how much more womanly you've become even since you went to bed. And as big as you are now, your nipples twinge at the thought that you still have at least another 30 days to become larger.
However, there is a problem on the horizon. In 30 days (or less!), you give birth, and the old you comes back. Your cycle restarts, you start ovulating again, and this time the ache will be even more profound because now you now precisely how wonderful it feels to be bred and full of growing life. Even now, among all the wonderfully warm fullness, you're flashing ahead to the return of that horrible, gnawing emptiness. Now you understand why so many women get pregnant again right away after giving birth, and when your husband is busy fondling your clit with one hand and your swollen bump with the other, you're fantasizing about him breeding you with baby #2.
Will you give into that temptation? Will you look into surrogacy? Will you do the responsible thing and wait even just a few months? You still have a few weeks left to decide, but each time you catch a glimpse of your belly in the mirror--how natural it looks on you, who right it feels to have--you feel your resolve weakening just a little bit more.
