it was mint and memories

arching spine

brows knitting together / grimacing

clenching teeth together

cold sweats

collapsing to knees

covering the hurting area

crying out / screaming / yelping

disorientation / confusion

doubling over / curling in / stumbling

dropping objects

eyesight blurring / blacking out

flinching / jerking

flushing / going pale/ashy

gasping / hissing

going rigid / tensing up

goosebumps

holding breath and sharply exhaling after

inability to speak / babbling incoherently

lightheadedness

lips pulling back, baring teeth

nausea

nostrils flaring

protective posture

rapid blinking

reaching out for something to hold onto to avoid falling

ringing ears

squeezing eyes shut

tears welling / crying

voice cracking

vomiting

Coma - (from the Greek word ‘‘koma,’’ meaning deep sleep)

A state of extreme unresponsiveness, in which an individual exhibits no voluntary movement or behavior.

In a deep coma, even painful stimuli (actions which, when performed on a healthy individual, result in reactions) are unable to affect any response, and normal reflexes may be lost.

Coma is the result of something that interferes with the functioning of the cerebral cortex and/or the functioning of the structures that make up the RAS. In fact, a huge and varied number of conditions can result in coma. A good way of categorizing these conditions is to consider the anatomic and the metabolic causes of coma:

Anatomic causes of coma are those conditions that disrupt the normal physical architecture of the brain structures responsible for consciousness, either at the level of the cerebal cortex or the brainstem.

Metabolic causes of coma consist of those conditions that change the chemical environment of the brain, thereby adversely affecting function.

As in any neurologic condition, history and examination form the cornerstone of diagnosis when the patient is in a coma; however, history must be obtained from family, friends, or EMS.

The Glasgow Coma Scale is a system of examining a comatose patient.

It is helpful for evaluating the depth of the coma, tracking the patient’s progress, and predicting (somewhat) the ultimate outcome of the coma.

It assigns a different number of points for exam results in three different categories:

opening the eyes,

verbal response (using words or voice to respond), and

motor response (moving a part of the body).

Fifteen is the largest possible number of total points, indicating the highest level of functioning.

The highest level of functioning would be demonstrated by an individual who spontaneously opens his/her eyes, gives appropriate answers to questions about his/her situation, and can carry out a command (such as ‘‘move your leg’’ or ‘‘nod your head’’).

Three is the least possible number of total points and would be given to a patient for whom not even a painful stimulus is sufficient to provoke a response.

In the middle are those patients who may be able to respond, but who require an intense or painful stimulus, and whose response may demonstrate some degree of brain malfunctioning (such as a person whose only response to pain in a limb is to bend that limb in toward the body).

When performed as part of the admission examination, a Glasgow score of three to five points often suggests that the patient has likely suffered fatal brain damage, while eight or more points indicates that the patient’s chances for recovery are good.

Expansion of the pupils and respiratory pattern are also important.

Metabolic causes of coma are diagnosed from blood work and urinalysis to evaluate blood chemistry, drug screen, and blood cell abnormalities that may indicate infection.

Anatomic causes of coma are diagnosed from CT (computed tomography) or MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) scans.

Coma is a medical emergency, and attention must first be directed to maintaining the patient’s respiration and circulation, using intubation and ventilation, administration of intravenous fluids or blood as needed, and other supportive care.

If head trama has not been excluded, the neck should be stabilized in the event of fracture.

It is obviously extremely important for a physician to determine quickly the cause of a coma, so that potentially reversible conditions are treated immediately. For example, an infection may be treated with antibiotics; a brain tumor may be removed; and brain swelling from an injury can be reduced with certain medications.

Various metabolic disorders can be addressed by supplying the individual with the correct amount of oxygen, glucose, or sodium; by treating the underlying disease in liver disease, asthma, or diabetes; and by halting seizures with medication.

Because of their low incidence of side effects and potential for prompt reversal of coma in certain conditions, glucose, the Bvitamin thiamine, and Narcan (to counteract any narcotic-type drugs) are routinely given.

(a crash course in vibes, verbal economy, and making your characters shut up already)

Okay. We need to talk about dialogue. Specifically: why everyone in your draft sounds like they’re in a high school improv group doing a dramatic reading of Riverdale fanfiction.

Before you panic, this is normal. Early dialogue is almost always too much. Too polished. Too "scripted." So if yours feels off? You’re not failing. You’re just doing Draft Zero Dialogue, and it’s time to revise it like a boss.

Here’s how to fix it.

─────── ✦ ───────

🎭 STEP ONE: DETOX THEATER ENERGY I say this with love: your characters are not all quippy geniuses. They do not need to deliver emotional monologues at every plot beat. They can just say things. Weird, half-finished, awkward things.

Real people:

interrupt each other

trail off mid-thought

dodge questions

contradict themselves

repeat stuff

change the subject randomly

Let your characters sound messy. Not every line needs to sparkle. In fact, the more effort you put into making dialogue ✨perfect✨, the more fake it sounds. Cut 30% of your clever lines and see what happens.

─────── ✦ ───────

🎤 STEP TWO: GIVE EACH CHARACTER A VERBAL FINGERPRINT The fastest way to make dialogue feel alive? Make everyone speak differently. Think rhythm, grammar, vocabulary, tone.

Some dials you can twist:

Long-winded vs. clipped

Formal vs. casual

Emojis of speech: sarcasm, filler words, expletives, slang

Sentence structure: do they talk in fragments? Run-ons? Spirals?

Emotion control: are they blunt, diplomatic, avoidant, performative?

Here’s a shortcut: imagine what your character sounds like over text. Are they the “lol okay” type or the “okie dokie artichokie 🌈✨” one? Now translate that into speech.

─────── ✦ ───────

🧠 STEP THREE: FUNCTION > FILLER Every line of dialogue should do something. Reveal something. Move something. Change something.

Ask:

Does this line push the plot forward?

Does it show character motivation/conflict/dynamic?

Does it create tension, add context, or raise a question?

If it’s just noise? It’s dead air. Cut it. Replace it with a glance. A gesture. A silence that says more.

TIP: look at a dialogue scene and remove every third line. Does the scene still work? Probably better.

─────── ✦ ───────

💥 STEP FOUR: REACTIVITY IS THE GOLD STANDARD Characters don’t talk into a void. They respond. And how they respond = the real juice.

Don’t just write back-and-forth ping pong. Write conflict, dodge, misunderstanding. If one character says something vulnerable, the other might joke. Or ignore it. Or say something cruel. That’s tension.

Dialogue is not just information exchange. It’s emotional strategy.

Try this exercise: A says something revealing. B lies. A notices, but pretends they don’t. B changes the subject. Now you’ve got a real scene.

─────── ✦ ───────

🔍 STEP FIVE: PAY ATTENTION TO POWER Every convo has a power dynamic, even if it’s tiny. Who’s steering? Who’s withholding? Who’s deflecting, chasing, challenging?

Power can shift line to line. That shift = tension. And tension = narrative fuel.

Write conversations like chess matches, not ping pong.

─────── ✦ ───────

✂️ STEP SIX: SCISSORS ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND The best dialogue is often the second draft. Or third. Or fourth. First drafts are just you figuring out what everyone wants to say. Later drafts figure out what they actually would say.

Things to cut:

Greetings/closings ("Hi!" "Bye!"--skip it unless it serves tone)

Exposition disguised as chat

Obvious thoughts spoken aloud

Explaining jokes

Repeating what we already know

Readers are smart. Let them fill in blanks.

─────── ✦ ───────

🎧 STEP SEVEN: READ IT OUT LOUD (YES, REALLY) If you hate this step: too bad. It works. Read it. Mumbling is fine. Cringe is part of the ritual.

Ask yourself:

Would someone actually say this?

Does this sound like one person speaking, or a puppet show with one hand?

Where does the rhythm trip? Where’s the breath?

If you can’t say it out loud without wincing, the reader won’t make it either. Respect the vibe.

─────── ✦ ───────

🏁 TL;DR: If you want your dialogue to sound like real people, let your characters be real. Messy. Annoying. Human. Let them interrupt and lie and joke badly and say the wrong thing at the worst time.

Cut the improv class energy. Kill the urge to be ✨brilliant✨. And listen to how people talk when they’re scared, tired, pissed off, in love, or trying not to say what they mean.

That’s where the good stuff is.

—rin t. // thewriteadviceforwriters // official advocate of awkward silences and one-word replies

P.S. I made a free mini eBook about the 5 biggest mistakes writers make in the first 10 pages 👀 you can grab it here for FREE:

the writers REALLY liked my artist resource post, so I thought i'd give y'all my dragon hoard of things i use for writing

Reverse Dictionary, you type in the meaning of a word, and it gives you a bunch of words that mean that. (MY MOST IMPORTANT OFFERING IN THIS LIST)

Slang Dictionary, what it says on the tin.

Anglish Translator, Anglish is if English evolved without borrowing from other languages and it really itches my brain

Incorrect Quotes Generator, Put character names in, and incorrect quotes come out. Really fun way to goof around with your characters' dynamics.

Handspeak, an ASL dictionary

Library of Babel, Odds are, the finished version of your wip is in here somewhere

The best fantasy map maker i have ever used

Glitch Text Generator is one I use A Lot, does ť̷̨̢͓̤͔̤̤̝̺̯̄̔̄̌̄͗͒͋͂͋͝ḩ̵̼̜͍͚͕̏̓͊̈̉̆̄͐́͗͒̈̃̊̚͜i̵̻̐̇̎̏̀̋̌̃̇̿͘̚s̴̮̔̂̇͒͑͝͝ͅ to your text

Totally not bootleg microsoft office

Emotions Thesaurus a guide for writing emotions and their associated body language

Mythcreants, has a whole bunch of stuff you can read to learn more about the technical aspects of writing

A decent article talking about what to think about when creating a language

Trope Talks, particularly good for beginner and younger writers or people who have a hard time reading. Honestly this whole channel is a fantastic format to get information into my adhd rattled brain.

FOR MY AO3 BESTIES! Postimages will host your image forever so you can embed it into your work

Ambient Chaos, sometimes the only thing in the world that can kick your brain into writing mode is nuclear sirens and lofi beats

Radioooooo, play a station from any place and year. Particularly helpful for period pieces.

instead ask:

is it SINCERE

was it CATHARTIC

was it FUN TO MAKE

is it MADE BY ME