aaaaaa im back bitches

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

I want a Santa movie where he’s actually Saint Nicholaos of Myra. Three kids run away from home and find a portal to the Council Of Nicaea in 325 AD. Then the kids watch him debate the promulgation of canon law. In the end they return home and tell their parents that presents aren’t important so long as Pentecost is counted 50 days after Easter on the Roman solar calendar and not the Jewish lunar calendar.

And the kids tell their parents the whole story and the dad is like “those kids and their imaginations.” But then he sees a piece of paper in the dog’s mouth and goes “whatcha got there boy? Is that…orders from the Holy See that the schismatic bishop Meletius is to remain in Lycopolis and keep his episcopal title but the ecclesiastics ordained by him must again receive the laying of hands? But…how?” And then he gazes off to the sky and you hear a light jingling of bells and then a voice over goes “Ho ho ho! The baptisms performed by the Paulian heretics are invalid! Merry Christmas!”

this is everything to me ever

just had a disconcerting thought

who turned them german mid tag ?

how do you know they were transformed midday?

what did they do

What they had to do.

Crazy to think that seagulls existed before french fries.

Medieval seagull struggling to fly away with an entire purloined potatoe

open tumblr, see something that pisses me off, write a snarky post, delete it, write a slightly more earnest post, edit it for 5 minutes, delete it, close tumblr

anytime I'm worried about becoming a boring medium ugly man with testosterone I just think of all the boring medium ugly men my awesome beautiful online mutuals want to fuck and I feel better. and a little scared cause I know the other stuff they want to do to those guys