Baby Dyke

Batfam: lol Dick only did that because he is so extra

Me [vibrating]: trapeze artists tried unsuccessfully to nail the quadruple for 70 years because the flyer picks up enough velocity on the spins that they reach 80 miles an hour and hit with so much force it can dislocate the shoulders of the person trying to catch him and rip the skin off their hands in big flaps 

Like I remember when the only way friends could contact me was the old shared house phone...probably the last generation in mainstream US life to say that. I remember the internet arriving and being INFINITELY more competent at using it than adults and fucking around on AIM and chat rooms. I remember pagers and adults having them but wasn't old enough for one until they were already obsolete.

I was taught how to formally handwrite a letter and address the envelope. Followed by mandatory keyboard typing classes and "computers" starting as a "specials" in elementary school.

The first cases of cyberbullying started in my generation. Adults had no idea how to address it.

We were at the front end of cell phones and texting becoming the norm, by my late in my HS/early college times. I remember owning totally separate pieces of tech for digital photography, playing music, watching video, playing video games, GPS/navigation, scientific calculator, an alarm clock, flashlight, etc. many replaced by smartphones. And I remember being an early smartphone adopter in my late 20s.

I remember the screeching hell of dial up and how fucking pumped we were when much better DSL/cable internet started. I remember sometimes having to print out papers for college to some professors and hand them in person and for others, having to submit them by email or online uploads instead. In my early career, I remember having to fax paperwork as much as I emailed it.

My home has physical media in VHS, DVD, and Blue ray formats. I remember when VHS was officially phased out as the standard format.

I had more cellphones with gimmicks across the years than I could count. The old Nokia brick. The tiny phone SNL mocked. The sidekick full keyboard that flipped out. The Blackberry that was my first time getting email on the go. The original Droid. Early iphones.

I'm Mark Zuckerberg's age...aka of the generation of women he was ranking hotness of in this pre-Facebook days and the target group he rolled out The Facebook for...I was on it when you had to be at an invited college.

I mean, they’re the blood god.

Presumably they already have blood.

A Meditation : 68 Capybaras

Due to popular demand: baby in full color.

Soupçon actually means “suspicion” and the reason nobody called me out on this is because I would use the word to imply the idea of something sprinkled on top of something else ala croutons. If someone said, “A soupçon of homoeroticism,” I thought it meant “Someone sprinkled homoeroticism on this story like croutons on a delightful Caesar salad.”

I wrote multiple essays that used soupçon as a noun with this translation in mind and I got a degree and this haunts me.