Baby Dyke

“It’s tempting to assume”: someone’s assumption is about to be criticized

This is not to say that feeling anger is abusive; it's human to feel anger. But if you've ever felt like your anger was "unjustified" or were afraid to express it outwardly because you expected it to be dismissed ... ask yourself how you would react if the roles were reversed. I find that a lot of folks who were The Grown Up in a relationship with their parents hold themselves to much different standards than they hold other people.

Nick Barlow, Clusterfuck/Keep It Together, 2022

It. Literally. Doesn't. Matter.

Spoiler alert: trans people can be antisemitic!

Franz Kafka was a real person who died not too long ago, and just because a trans person relates to his writings doesn't mean they can claim he's trans. It's not the same as relating to a fictional character. You can't 'headcanon' an actual person. I don't care how much you relate- he wasn't trans, don't call him a woman. He was an actual person, not a fictional character you can project on. An treating Franz Kafka like a fictional character you can project any label onto and separate him from his actual life is dehumanization and *also* antisemitic.

It's no different than queer people co-opting Anne Frank's memory and erasing her story to just herald her as a "bi icon" when she never had the chance to live long enough to label herself. Queer gentiles need to stop dehumanizing Jewish people and turning them into blank slates they can project onto.

I don't care how much you relate- he wasn't trans, don't call him a woman.

At some point relatively recently, people seem to have come to the conclusion that you can't empathize with a character (or real fucking person, in this case, and I cannot stress how gross that is) unless you're just like them. "Oh, I, a nonbinary person can identify with this cishet man? He must actually be nonbinary!" "Oh, I, an autistic person, can identify with this Ambiguously Quirky™ person? She must actually be autistic!"

Being able to relate to a person--real or fictional--who isn't just like you is a good thing. It's good that you see yourself in the writings of a cisgender man! Maybe it will teach you that cis people aren't the enemy. It's good that an autistic character resonates with NT people! Maybe they'll gain new insight into their autistic friends and family!

It's called empathy, and it's so important to understand that you are going to see your experiences reflected in people who are unlike you. Those connections are important. Deciding that Kafka must be a trans woman because you're a trans woman is missing the entire fucking point. It means that you do, in fact, have some things in common with a cisgender man, and conversely, it means that cisgender men have things in common with you. To flatten them out so they're just like you is missing out on so much of what they have to say.

People are beautiful and rich and layered and the fact that we can connect with other people and share experiences despite how different we are? That's the whole fucking point. That's what makes life worth living.

Because we've seen that before. We see it very often because it's a fundamental premise of some incredibly antisemitic forms of Christianity, and when it turns out that we're real people with real opinions and real beliefs and real feelings who don't just exist to validate someone else's perception of who and how we could be, people don't just abandon their pretense at allyship, they get violent.

It's also a common failing in how the Holocaust is taught. People like to present this lens of "it was random violence that came out of nowhere and could've happened to anyone. It could've happened to you! Imagine if you'd been one of the victims! That would've been a tragedy wouldn't it?" And the thing is, that's bullshit. If you were just a random German citizen at the time? You would've been one of the perpetrators. And it was a tragedy in and of itself; it doesn't become a tragedy by imaging a scenario in which people who were perfectly safe would've actually been potentially in danger (never killed, of course, because Holocaust education is also commonly sanitized, which is a different rant).

Edited to take out a rant that was in drafts and got added to this by mistake, but. Well, the Tl;dr, since that's been reblogged

Thank you for your suggestion! We all go through weight fluctuations in life, so it stands to reason our clothes should be able to fluctuate with us.

Resizing your clothes used to be a very common practice before the advent of fast fashion. Fast fashion sizing is extremely flawed, especially when it comes to plus size fashion, and we’re stuck with a lot of vanity sizing, so it’s a good skill to have regardless of whether you’re looking to mend something old or buy something new.

How to upsize clothes:

Introduction:

There are many different ways to make a garment larger. The following list is not exhaustive, just a few ideas to get you started.

Grading patterns:

If you’re making your own clothes, it’s always useful to know how to modify a sewing pattern. The easiest way to adjust a pre-existing pattern to your size is slash and spread grading. First, you need to define which spots on the pattern need extra space. You then cut your pattern in that spot, and slide the resulting pattern pieces away from each other until you’ve got the size you need. Use paper to fill in the gaps. To ensure the resulting pattern makes for well-fitting clothes, make a mock-up and add, move, or remove darts where necessary to adapt it to your body type.

The image below shows potential slashing lines on pattern blocks for an AFAB body. Unfortunately this was the only diagram I could find, but know that other types of patterns use similar line placements. Each line is a spot that allows you to add extra space. To read more about this process, check out the corresponding article by Threads Magazine.

(Image source)

To make your clothes easier to let out in the future, make sure to provide ample seam allowance when cutting out your pattern pieces. This surplus fabric has several different uses, including giving you some wiggle room for when you need to size up your garment.

Now, let’s take a look at pre-made garments.

Lengthening clothes:

A garment that’s too short on you is easy to modify. Just add more material!

If it’s a skirt or a dress, add ruffles to the bottom. Ruffles are easy to make by hand or with a sewing machine. You could also add lace, or wear the item with an underskirt.

For pants, let down your hem or sew on a new cuff. If this isn’t enough, maybe consider turning your trousers into capri pants or shorts.

As for shirts, sewing an extra layer to the bottom edge is the easiest way to go, too. You could even combine two shirts into one to get an extra long shirt.

Another option is to cut your item in two and insert extra fabric between your separated garment parts.

(Image source)

(Image source)

Letting out seams/darts:

Remember how we made sure to have ample seam allowance earlier? When a garment has surplus fabric in the seams and you only need a little extra space, you can undo the seams of your garment and sew them back together again, this time with a smaller seam allowance than before. The Spruce Crafts has a pretty good tutorial on how to let out seams. You won’t be able to make major size changes using this technique, but if you only need a few centimetres, this is a good way to go.

A lot of garments also have darts. Darts are fabric folds that are sewn down in strategic places to help the fabric follow the body’s curves. If a dart doesn’t fit you the way you want it to, then unpick the dart and try on the garment. Either leave the dart open, or pin the dart in place however you want it, then take off the garment again and sew the dart back together.

Be careful not to rip the fabric when using a seam ripper. Also note that removing entire darts may change the garment’s fit.

You can also add custom darts to achieve a better fit, but that’s a topic for another time.

(Image source)

Adding extra fabric to your garment:

If we need to add more room than seam allowance or darts can provide us with, we need to add extra material. Remember those slashing lines we looked at earlier? If you’re working with a pre-existing garment rather than a pattern, those are the perfect places to chop up your clothes and add in extra fabric.

Check your sewing stash for fabric that’s similar in weight and material to your original garment, or go thrift shopping for an item you could use to upsize your garment. Long skirts and maxi dresses are a great source of fabric for alterations like these!

Lace inserts are also a fun choice to add some room, and if you’re working with a knit item, you could even knit or crochet your own custom insert.

Define the area where you want to add extra fabric on your item, and measure how much you need. Draw a straight line on your garment with chalk/soap. Make sure the line doesn’t cross any important structural or functional parts of your garment like darts or button holes: refer to the slashing diagram we saw earlier if you’re not sure what spot to pick. Cut the line open (or unpick the seam if it’s situated on a seam), and add in your extra fabric. Finish off your new seams so they don’t unravel later on, and you’re done!

You can add straight strips of fabric for extra width or length, or you could use flared panels or even godets to make your item flair out.

Want to see this technique in action? Check out this video by Break n Remake:

Some ideas:

This Pinterest user cut a straight line down the front of a t-shirt and inserted a lace panel to add extra width in the front of the garment.

(Image source)

Busy Geemaw cut open the side seams of a shirt and used flared panels to add some extra width in the bust and hip area.

(Image source)

This person added a panel to the sides of a pair of jeans to give them more space in the hip area. You could easily use a long straight panel or a panel that flares at the bottom to resize the entire garment instead of just the hips, or use a wide piece of elastic for extra stretch.

(Image source)

This person added a godet in the back of their shirt in order to get more space in the back.

(Image source)

Blue Corduroy enlarged a pair of shorts by opening up the side seams and adding in strips of fabric.

(Image source)

You don’t need to resize the entire garment if you don’t want to. For example, One Brown Mom turned this ankle-length skirt with a too small waistband into a well-fitting knee-length skirt by taking advantage of the skirt’s flared shape.

(Image source)

Conclusion:

Throughout our lives, our weight will fluctuate and our bodies will change. There’s no shame in this: it’s just a fact of life. Therefore, knowing how to upsize an item that is too small for you is a useful skill to learn.

✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖

✨ Artists and titles will be revealed with the full song after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update!