holy moly cannoli

My hopeless romantic says yes but my independent woman says no

men are so annoying, "women belong at home in the kitchen blah blah" and YOU belong in the workshop making me a fuckin table! why arent you forging steel or working metal? go out to the fields jebediah! the wheat needs to be reaped!

men sitting on their asses and telling women to assume their traditional roles is laughable. lol go back to work at the coal mine and build me a house

ill make you a sandwich after you go to war and die

reblogging because I’ve seen this post a thousand times and I’ve never seen the happy ending!! 

I think I need to start enforcing a bed time on myself. I just put two frozen mice to thaw in my tea.

Decide you want tea. Fill the kettle and start boiling water. Place a mug on the kitchen counter and put a teabag in it. Remember you are going to feed the snakes this afternoon. Go get the mouse-thawing-cup and put it on the counter. Hear the kettle about to boil and pour some of the almost-boiling water into your mug. Remember the snakes. Open the freezer and get out two frozen mice. Remember how excited you are to have tea. Go back to the counter and put the mice in your mug of hot tea.

So THIS is what the advanced level of “I drank from my mug of paint water” looks like.

question: did the snakes get tea mice or no

Turns out my snakes love the taste of English breakfast tea.

I’m fucking cackling

Growing up fat, you get made fun of for everything you do, even basic shit like eating and laughing and breathing are funny when you do it because youre fat! And its so hard to not carry that with you as you get older, like I’m still embarassed to eat or dance in front of people or smile in pictures and its ridiculous and I hate it and I wish I was treated with more humanity

Thin people can reblog this btw

they wont tho lmao