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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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occasionally subtle
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Product Placement

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Jules of Nature
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izzy's playlists!

Kaledo Art
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@miles2gobeforeisleep

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Portrait of a Young Woman, Jean-Etienne Liotard
Girl with a Pearl Earring, Johannes Vermeer
#they look like theyve been having a chat about u and u just walked in
I’m on mobile, somebody edit them into this please
Y'all take too long
Same energy
No worries guys, they’re there too
I’ve had this same dilemma too many times

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I reblogged this last month, tagged it, and said “might as well see if it works.” I used this video as a reference to find all the forms that i needed (which is A LOT, especially if you’re a dependent) and sent them through the mail, not really allowing myself to hope.
dude.
$2,714 of medical debt from my top surgery - gone. im shaking this was such a weight on me for 2 years and it fucking worked. what the fuck.
This is huge. Sharing for my US friendos.
Hospitals like to hide these policies under a lot of successive links in obscure places, so if you don't see anything right away, keep looking! Get friends to help! Make it a scavenger hunt. A game where you're assassins sent to slit capitalism's throat
Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.
InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation
They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.
Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.
He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.
"The horrors persist but so do libraries, books, iced coffee, sunsets, trees, the word 'fuck', the moon and the sea."
going nuclear
going nuclear - Ria_Writes_Stuff - Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
based on this post by @scapgoatandsacrificallamb !!! Grace gets kidnapped and Stratt goes a little insane!!
"Sorry- Who do you think I am?" "You are Doctor Ryland Grace." "I mean yeah, but I'm just a scientist! I'm a middle school teacher! I am no one important! I do fun maths in a lab all day! I make spreadsheets! I get Stratt's coffee! I'm the coffee boy!" "Your conviction is almost convincing. Unfortunately for you, my intel is more precise than you hope. You are not Ryland Grace, 'coffee boy'. You are Ryland Grace, Chief Scientist, Head Astrophage Handler, and second in command of Project Hail Mary. We'll film your ransom in a moment, I trust you're intelligent enough to cooperate." Grace stared at her. Stared at the floor. Back at her. He was fucking WHAT? OR Grace gets kidnapped by a terrorist cult, Stratt goes on a very polite rampage, several world leaders are harrassed, two bedrooms are forcefully entered, ilyukhina's vodka is commandeered and Grace finally gets a hug (feat. the Vat being a family, Vattling shenanigans, Stratt's wardrobe choices and Grace having self esteem issues)
@the-tardis-is-blue this is for you <33
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

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I don’t think healthy people every really get chronic illness.
I have a friend I know from when we were both 6. She is the only person living nearby and so she saw me go from walking through limping to wheelchair on a daily basis. I keep her updated on my health even tho we rarely hang out anymore. She was gonna come over yesterday and I had to cancel. She asked if I can’t hang out later that day. When I said i won’t feel better later, that if I feel that bad in the morning later will only get worse she got annoyed and “joked” that I’m just finding excuses. And I was surprised, she knows all about me being disabled after all? So, a bit taken aback, I told her it’s a normal thing for me.
“But you got the diagnosis now, aren’t you better?? I thought you’ll get better now”
She was honestly surprised and it made me realize a thing. They don’t get it. They don’t get that getting diagnosed only equals benefits like welfare or parking spot for us, and sometimes better pain meds but that is just like pushing luck. That it’s a forever thing. That that one day we felt good a week ago was just a bright spot and doesn’t mean we won’t need our aids anymore, cause chronic illness is not linear and will make a great comeback in next four hours, and the next good day is planned on when we’re 70. Cause when abled people are sick, they get better. And our illness is just an excuse for them. And when we say we will never get better they think we’re being dramatic and pessimistic. And I don’t think they’ll ever get it, cause to get it you need to live it. And I want my friends to stay healthy and not go through hell.
This is definitely okay to reblog and abled people are encouraged to reblog cause maybe it’ll help others understand
Hello it’s me Lexa and this post is relevant again as I just had the Legit Same Talk with someone and I exhausted my number of fucks to give
The first official communication from Erid to Earth is a message from Rocky asking for child support. They left a baby, only in its 30s, on his doorstep. Of course, he’s thankful; he loves the baby. But also, can he get some resources? The biodome uses a lot of resources and Grace WAS theirs first, so it’s completely fair to ask.
I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now
[Video caption:
O-okay, let’s get into this, shall we?
*grumbling* Would you rather work for Lex Luthor or the Joker- *shouting* Lex Luthor, by like, a fucking mile!
Yes, yes, working for Lex Luthor is basically like being an Amazon employee that makes weapons of mass destruction, which is bad. Lex is like Donald Trump mixed with Mark Zuckerberg mixed with Jeffrey fucking Bezos, it’s not a great mix. He does not treat his henchmen well. Their lives still suck, and they are probably monitored on how long they take piss breaks for.
But let’s analyze what working for Lex Luthor is like versus the fucking Joker. With Lex you probably get a dental plan, a health plan, a paycheck, and the guy that you’re fighting really cares about human life. Superman will hit you just long enough to knock you out, so you’re not a treat, so he can stop the problem.
If you work for the Joker, your payment is you’re not fucking dead. You say one wrong thing? Bang. You don’t laugh at his jokes? Bang! You do laugh at his jokes? Bang! You think Joker gives a fuck about a henchman?
Who’s Lex Luthor’s right-hand-man? It’s a woman, you sexist, her name is Mercy, she’s awesome. Who’s Joker’s right-hand-man? Bob? Nah, he’s dead. Harley? Tried to kill her multiple times. Slappy? Who the fuck is Slappy?
The best case scenario of working for the Joker is that you fight the fucking Batman! And that presents its own fucking list of problems. If you stop Superman as a Lex Luthor henchman, Lex’ll be pissed, but he’ll be at least happy that Superman was caught. If you stop Batman as a Joker henchman, you better have a fucking coffin picked out yesterday.
This isn’t a fun hypothetical question, this is a screening technique that the doctors at Arkham use to determine your mental health! There is a right and a wrong answer to this question, and the correct one is Lex fucking Luthor. Thank you for coming to my fucking Ted Talk, have a nice day.
End caption.]
Bitch neither I work for Wayne Industries, they got better offers than work these clowns:
batmans secret special attack is offering all of his enemys henchmen a living wage and guaranteed healthcare
Love when the Doctor assumes ‘The United Nations Secretary General’ is a euphemism for lesbian sex. I think we should all adopt that
Movement nudge, hand mobility! 🙌
X
1) do this even if you're under 40. seriously. I definitely should have been doing something like this for years and I only turned 40 a month and a half ago
2) if you're like me just now trying this going "oh god i've only done 15 and i think my hands are cramping" start lower than 30 and increase by 5 once whatever number you're doing no longer makes your hand cramp up. I can manage about 15 per exercise at the moment.
If you're hypermobile, be especially gentle.

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lie to me
@followthebluebell
You cannot leave such a story in the tags!