bored.

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

And like 

And even???? 

He’s so angry and ready to Throw Down 

But then in actuality he’s just 

Once they rewrote the character they were in a panic. Who could voice such a role?

None other than Alan Tudyk, known as “Walt Disney Studios’ lucky charm” due to his roles as Duke in Frozen, King Candy in Wreck-It Ralph and KTSO in Rogue One, who made the front freaking page of the Wall Street Journal due to his performance.

Tudyk says: “The character you’re playing, even though he’s a rooster and is really stupid, you approach it in the same way you would approach Hamlet, which is exactly how I approached it. But they give you the circumstances. “You’re on the boat. You didn’t expect to be here. You just climbed in a boat to maybe sleep. You don’t even know why you climbed in the boat. You’re really that dumb. Every three minutes is a new world to you, so you see that you’re trapped on this boat, and you freak out. Go.” 

Note: Tudyk went to Julliard.

@adipemdragon

this is what her room looks like on a good day

A teen’s Reddit post went viral when he asked the public how he could get vaccinated. “My parents are kind of stupid and don’t believe in vaccines. Now that I’m 18, where do I go to get vaccinated? Can I get vaccinated at my age?”

The Ohio high school student, Ethan Lindenberger, says he had just gotten his driver’s license and a car, and had some money, and was ready to do defy his parents. “It’s stupid and I’ve had countless arguments over the topic. But, because of their beliefs I’ve never been vaccinated for anything, god knows how I’m still alive.”

A month after his post, he started getting shots, including “hepatitis A, hepatitis B, influenza and HPV,” according to The Huffington Post. His mother reacted by telling undark.org that his actions were like a “slap in the face…It was like him spitting on me.”  

Lindenberger has six siblings, and only his oldest sister and brother were vaccinated. After that, his parents thought that “vaccines are some kind of government scheme,” according to Ethan, who spoke out on Good Morning America today.

Seven states now allow minors to petition so that they can make their own decision when it comes to vaccinations. But in the states where kids don’t have a choice, some teens are coming to Ethan for advice. “I definitely have received messages and I’ve had people contact me that are in a similar situation where they want to pursue vaccinations and their parent or authority figure doesn’t believe it’s right,” he told Good Morning America.

but be ready