I'm Back

Oh my god!!!!

Pure

update: apparently he’s not a sagittarius, he’s a virgo. great so the only thing i knew about him was that he owned a giant blue horse dick

all i know is that he once sent shelby cragg none pizza with left beef

I heard you can only see him on foggy nights behind an olive garden after downing 5 faygos mixed with red bull and if you beat him in a fist fight, he reveals all the secrets of Homestuck

He pushed me into an open manhole after I sold a copy of Failure to Launch at the local Gamestop.

*leaning back in a rocking chair of a saloon patio, taking a long drag from a cigar* boy howdy, homestuck? i remember those days… days ‘em herds of homestucks grazed this pass far as the eye could see. them notifier would strike two, three times a day and the stampedes would cover the land. all of ‘em looking for a little piece of fame. notes came easy back then. first one to make them jokes got tens o’ thousands of em, and so we was all prospecting from them updates. then one day the droughts came, and one by one they all gone. over n’ over til there wasn’t none left in the land and it all dried up. yessir i remember those days.

I’m so mad because this worked

help me roger

………my friend has made me curious

help me roger

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

Eh Roger is cute I might as well

That fish is so happy it makes me happy.

Reblogging myself because I reblogged this yesterday and got promoted today!

oh what the hell…lol.

this is important

ROGER WORKS

Roger please work your magic I need it now more than ever.

i’m gonna die still laughing at this

j;afkdf2903ruqelkfad

the water fountain at work has broken so the cafe is handing out free coffee all day and honestly i know this is a bad idea but i am going to abuse this so much and i am ready to face the consequences head on

ive had 17 coffees and i can’t feel my legs but on the plus side ive spoken to god and she seems chill

so hey who else was taught as a kid that “”””wanting attention”””” in any way was wrong and shameful and has grown up unable ask for help or support even in great distress/suffering

And don’t forget the You Can Tell Me Anything (Except Things I Don’t Want to Hear)™.

And let’s not forget the “You Shouldn’t Keep Secrets From Me (Even Though I’ll Use Them Against You Later)”

also the “I Promise i wont interrupt you when you do talk with me (Except when i need to point out where you fucked up and what you should have done instead)”

“You can tell me the truth (as long as it’s the truth I’ve already decided is true. Anything else is a lie.)”

“Tell me what’s bothering you (so I can twist it to make it your fault and then act like your problems are harder on me than you)”

“I will encourage you and support you (in front of people so they think I’m the nice parent but in all honesty you’re going to get whipped when you get home.)”

Yeah basically. I mean, I THINK my mom legitimately has paranoia, and at least now I can recognize this and also tell her when she’s taking her anger out on me and that that’s not okay but… she’s TERRIBLE at accepting when she’s wrong, or when she’s over-reacting, or the fact that I’m telling her is NOT because I’m trying to “be better than her” but because I 1) am worried she’s stressing too much or 2) am LEGITIMATELY being treated unfairly. She has trouble accepting the fact that yeah, I’M AN ADULT, and just because she raised me doesn’t mean that I have to sit back and take her bullshit now that I can recognize it’s unhealthy. TL;DR - Parents of my / our generation SUCKED, this was the norm, and I hope to fuck my generation gets better socialization and does a better job if they decide to raise kids.

I’m engaged to a Jeffery :D

Lawful good!

petty

Chaotic neutral