My Sadness Is My Own

*cough* so uh. how long’s it been, two, three years? Lol. So between Jodie!Doctor (how freaking cute is she?) and the surprisingly regular reviews I still get for APFUTD and AJTT, I thought I’d finally post what I had written for the third story in the series. It’s only two chapters and I don’t plan on going any further, but what the heck, sharing is caring.

I’ve noticed an uptick on AO3 as far as reviews for APFUTD and AJTT and it honestly amazes me that after two? years? people are still finding that story. I guess I had a bit of an impact after all. Makes me feel pretty good.

So, yeah. Hi. If you’re desperate to follow me or see wtf I’m doing in other fandoms, I’m currently trapped by Steven Universe and Ducktales -- @aperfectpearl and @lenasmagic specifically. Be aware that I am an unashamed fangirl of Pearl and Lena and will defend them to the death. And I bite.

Wow, I’m still getting crap. When did you send this? I’m legit curious because I don’t check this blog very often. I’m actually not even sure what post you’re messaging me about tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways, not that you asked, but I also have severe anxiety, although it manifests in different ways. Such as I would never send a message like this to someone who is clearly stressed, depressed, and has low self-esteem. You’re too afraid to write a review but you can give me shit about wishing more people would let me know they read (in the past tense) my stories?

And yes, I see that you were anxious writing this, but you still hit send. It’s easier for you to send something giving someone a hard time than it is to brighten up someone’s day?

It amazes me how often I (used to) get these anons saying “I’m too anxious to review!” but somehow weren’t too anxious about sending me hate.

I no longer involve myself in the Doctor Who fandom. No, this isn’t in protest of Jodie Whittaker or Thirteen being a woman -- god help me, she’s a fucking nerd and I love her. I stepped back from this fandom because it’s entirely toxic, and was having an adverse effect on my mental health. 

Being a writer in the DW fandom was the worst -- whether anyone wants to admit it or not, this fandom had (probably still has) “favored” writers, and if you weren’t in that group, you were screwed. And that fucked with my head. A lot. And god forbid anyone bring it up -- there are still hateful anons here and there on this blog who gave me crap for wishing people would read or review my stories. I’m not going to get into the whole “writers should write for themselves not for reviews” thing -- I’ve written more than enough about that on this blog.

So why am I here posting about this after like a year of inactivity? Because I am still writing -- I’ve moved on to the Steven Universe fandom ( @aperfectpearl if you want to follow me) and post stories on on AO3, and today I got a “review” on my most recent story asking me if I would be willing to post one of my DW stories there.

That hurt a lot on a couple levels. First off, I was excited to see a review on one of my stories, only to find out that it was someone asking about a dw fic. Second, I’ve purposely separated myself from the DW fandom (I’m holding on to dimensionhoppingrose as my AO3 name out of nostalgia, but I’m seriously considering changing that as well) because most of my experiences in the fandom were Not Good, and I want to forget about it. Sometimes I still get reviews for A Place For Us To Dream and A Journey Through Time, and I won’t lie, that tickles me slightly, but the idea of posting another story in the DW fandom just to get limited reviews/kudos/etc. just.... hurts.

So no, none of my DW stories will be cross-posted to AO3, unless they were posted there pre-mental break (to be fair, it wasn’t just the fandom shit, I was in a bad place at the time, and I’ve gotten a lot better since I started medication, but the fandom is a reminder of all that). And posting a comment on a story just to ask if I’ll post another story that I wrote for a fandom I’m not longer in (because I was ignored so much) hurts. Don’t do that to anyone.

I’ve been writing and posting fanfiction since 2005. Don’t ask how old I am. I’ve posted on ff.net, on AO3, a small bit on LiveJournal, and on Tumblr. And all across the platforms, one thing is the same:

The people who feel the need to call out every little typo they see.

Listen. Listen. Fanfic authors are human beings. They’re people who are doing something for fun because they’re invested in a fandom. Every author I know, at the very least, always reads their stories over two, three, four times before posting and, still miss typos.

You are not doing anyone a favor by pointing out typos.

Some fanfic authors may be professional writers in their real lives. Some may be doing it just for fun. It doesn’t matter. Pointing out typos is not helpful, and no matter how well you think your intentions are, there’s another person on the other side of that review reading it and seeing, “Look at all these mistakes you made, you’re not good enough.”

Pointing out typos is not feedback. You are not doing anyone, least of all the author, a favor.