for those we never meet

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

i know twilight gets shit on a lot but if a boy told me he was a supernatural creature who was in love w/ me in the pacific northwest woods i too would risk it all 

there is this thing called a "kitty cat". and you can get one for inside your home, and it will sit on all of your surfaces, and you can pet it.

Instructions unclear: my grilled cheese is missing

wearing sky-colored shoes to hide from the devil. earth colored hat to hide from god

Iron breastplate to ward off fairies, Fishnet leggings to ward off cod.

good thing they're hidden from god and the devil

All gays will go to hellsite

What if in hellsite but not gay

NO!

Human relationships are not transactional but they are reciprocal, which I think many of you with your ‘i don’t owe anyone anything’ shtick are too happy to forget

“Your days are numbered” yeah it’s called a calendar you fucking idiot.