hedgehogism

I’ve tried a few porn games, but all they have such bad user design. so like one of the games was a platformer, I thought okay, I used to play mario, this’ll be no problem. WRONG. I couldn’t even get through the first level. two straight hours of missing the same jumps and near sobbing about it. at what point am I supposed to get horny? I can’t even reach the naked demon lady because I CANNOT! MAKE! THE JUMPS! so I try another game about seducing milfs. you need to clean the milf’s house to make her like you. okay, I have limited energy per in-game day, so I vacuum her house, I tidy her magazines, I clean her dishes, I go to sleep. this repeats for days. the milf still doesn’t like me. why?? I’ve spent real hours of my life vacuuming her digital floor. why won’t the milf fall in love with me? what am I doing? what am I doing?

Imagine one day you're walking around some abandoned building like "yeah this is kinda weird and cool," and you find an old 90s-style headset rig and you decide to put it on just because. It doesn't do anything like it whirrs a bit but nothing happens, you think "huh okay I hope I don't get tetanus from that," and you just go home. Some time goes by and you forget about it, one day you're chilling at a bus stop with some other people and you have no idea that you have a digital clone and the girl standing next to you has a digital clone and your digital clones are on a Windows 95 hard drive in a basement somewhere and they're fucking each other stupid nasty style. That's what happened to Riley.

is high jump kicking peoples dogs punk

no, to punk is to love

I love to high jump kick peoples dogs

won’t a high jump kick miss most dogs? they’re usually kinda low to the ground