the years have made me weird and strange to talk to. but still i must post

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@metahigh
the years have made me weird and strange to talk to. but still i must post

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Say Yes to the Dress: Vampire Masquerade
Dysfunctional vampire families being super critical of anything their childe likes.
Vampires who just want something with yellow polkadots but the store people keep bringing them red velvet.
The store is staffed with Renfield types who are obsequious to the vampires’ faces and super catty behind their backs. “Akasha wants something in gold for under 1500.” “Yeah, THAT’s gonna happen. When’s the last time she went shopping, the eighties?”
“But it’s my masquerade! I’m the one who’s going to be seduced by moonlight beneath the crystal chandelier, not my sire! Why can’t she accept that?”
At the end of the day they have to take their entourages’ word for it if the dress looks good, because they can’t see anything in the mirror.
it is, technically, considered tacky to have a retainer flesh-sculpted to look just like you and make them try everything on for you, but that does not stop people from doing it
Vampires who want an exact version of a dress they saw in a painting 100 years ago
Insecurity that it’s stolen valor to wear a tiara when you weren’t actually nobility
A sire who says the budget is unlimited because his little childe gets whatever she want (Staff: “That is so creepy”)
“You’re spending the entire budget of your vampire theater” “But it’s my special niiiight!”
Quick portrait sketch artist to show them how they look
Reincarnated lover bought along but his preferences ignored because “It’s not about him, all he needs to do is show up”
To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.
I became a tattoo artist at 49.
Married the love of my life at 50.
Got my Class A CDL at 59.
You've got time.
As long as you're breathing, you've got time.
You may think the phrase "He's just a little guy" comes from internet memes, but you would be wrong.
The true origin of the phrase belongs to celebrated author Tamora Pierce, in her 1983 novel Alanna: The First Adventure, when Gary says, "Still—what can Alan do for you? He's just a little guy"(49).
Thus, whenever we say of someone or some creature that they are "just a little guy," what we are really saying is that they are a short redheaded knight-in-training with some sort of Gender going on who will kick your butt given half a chance.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. May we all be the little guys we wish to see in the world.
Pierce, Tamora. Alanna: The First Adventure. New York, Random House, 1983.

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Hannibal (2013-2015)
meditating on the shape of the great serpent this morning
long
my great-grandfather had to leave italy in the 20′s because he hit a fascist with a tuba, so if you think I am going to take this sitting down you are going to have to catch these hands and also this tuba
Fun story my Great Great Grandma left Germany in the 1920s because she had family in the US and could get citizenship pretty easily and once she was over in the US she then smuggled over 15 jewish families out by forging family documents so now my aunts are currently in the process of trying to tell the real ones from the fake ones because my great gran just died and there are legally over 100 surviving descendants but we know that math is a lil screwy.
Sometimes a family is you, your kids, your grandkids, your great grandkids, and the 15 Jewish families you helped smuggle out of Nazi Germany.
And your tuba
His ass is NOT tissues

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you need to get it out of your mind that psychosomatic illness is just “making up symptoms” when it’s actually much more like your body is being actively poisoned by chemicals released from your brain
if you’re so stressed that you’re puking your guts up every morning, are unable to eat or keep anything down, you can’t look at light without feeling infinitely worse and feel exhausted and in pain all the time (or whatever your particular stress induced symptom set is) you’re not just feeling like that because you’ve willed it into being. your body is begging for relief from the constant barrage of stress hormones and it requires the fundamental source of stress to go away, not just distracting yourself from the symptoms
just because the root is psychological doesn’t mean the result isn’t an entirely physical process.
This and also "your body is desperately trying to alert you to the fact that stress is killing you"
happy 4th of july to this image the official boston fire department made and posted to twitter like 3 years ago. i will not let it die.

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"this thing is rare and only affects 1% of the population" dude that's 80 million people can you shut up
"this thing is so rare, if you put everyone it affects on an island it would be the 20th most populated country in the world, more than the UK, more than South Korea, and more than Canada AND Australia AND Tunisia all put together. we can literally forget about it that's not many people"
#is this about autism?
it's about autism and EDS and intersex variations and about trans people and also it's about golden blood and it's about blind people, it's about screaming all day long and howling the night out that you exist even if you're not everywhere, you're small but your heart beats and your lungs pump air and they want you forgotten in the pages of a book they won't read