Mascbot

knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

I love when cats get a claw stuck in your clothes and then act like it's YOUR fault. lil bro I'm literally just clad in garments you're the one with your terror toes deployed

"the most unrealistic thing about project hail mary is that a woman is in charge" WRONG look up the glass cliff. women are much more likely to be promoted to positions of power when things are going poorly and people need a woman to blame. she refers to herself as the "world's whipping boy." the person put in the position to have to commit ecological and humanitarian crimes of that scale in order to save the earth would only ever be a woman.

fuck, marry, kill: the wound that won’t heal, the past you can’t undo, the ghost that keeps returning

girl realising they’re a lesbian call that 💡yurika  

the project hail mary universe is one of the only ones out there where orpheus turning around actually saved eurydice btw

Someone on tiktok said “they were connected by the red string of fate but instead of fate it was the Petrova Line” and like. My heart

an extremely important skill to build up online is being able to tell when someone is quoting lyrics from a song you haven't heard, or perhaps lines from some kind of skit

A lot of internet-famous people--guy who can pick any lock, guy who can make anything out of chocolate, guy who can drink lots of water without spilling a drop--are like characters a five-year-old would make up for a comic book.

"Performative male" and it's just a dude who respects women

i always love when a horror movie is like ohh we are a group of people from various backgrounds stuck together in this motel/gas station/roadside diner/grocery store/shopping mall/warehouse/underground bunker/fallout shelter/research facility/military compound/prison/police station/office building/apartment building/school/hospital/church/bar/music club/amusement park/resort/boat of some kind. the baddies are coming. quick! let us organize into some sort of social commentary

well well well if it isn’t the obvious truth which i have been running away from as fast as i possibly can all this time

Going outside with wet hair from showering is humiliating because everyone sees you and thinks stuff like "eww gross here comes the wet girl". But going outside with wet hair when it's raining? Unambiguous boon because now everyone is thinking stuff like "wow, she's so topical" and "her hair is a scathing critique of the times we live in"