Socratitties

The Marauders

Sirius-

Sirius plays electric guitar but I’m torn on if he’s really good or absolute horse shit at it

He’s French and yells at people in French all the time

Sirius slaps tf out of whoever he’s talking to when he laughs

He has hair that goes just past his shoulders and keeps it in a half-bun pretty much all the time

Dorcas likes to braid little beads into his hair and Pandora likes to give him hair wraps

Sirius has tons of moles and whenever his friends want to piss him off they point out that moles are a sign of inbreeding

I see Sirius as pretty androgynous (though I personally don’t see him wearing skirts or dresses) and imagine that he really just doesn’t think about his gender enough to really care about it

I think Sirius wears eyeliner and occasionally dabbles in glittery eyeshadow

Sirius would probably never admit it but he WORSHIPS Marlene and aspires to be as cool as her

Sirius is one of those people who makes “joking” jabs at his friends all the time because he doesn’t want anyone to start thinking he isn’t above them

Remus-

Remus has a huge scar from a particularly bad moon that goes over one of his eyes and caused him to be blind in that eye

Remus has an insane sleeper build so he looks a tad bit scrawny but it’s OVER for everyone when he loses the baggy grandpa sweaters

Remus was raised in a muggle household so his friends expect him to know so much about the muggle world and technology but Remus like never leaves the house and has about as much knowledge of the 70s muggle world as a Victorian child would

Remus has an absolutely chiseled jawline and whenever he doesn’t get the marks he wanted he jokes about pursuing modeling instead of being a teacher like he hopes to be

Peter-

Peter cuts his own hair and is genuinely terrible at it but somehow makes it work

He has tons of freckles and birth marks scattered across his body

He has necklace his mother gifted him that he wears every single day

Peter loveesss funky socks and meme shirts (rip Peter Pettigrew you would’ve loved twitter humor)

he loves stealing his friends’ school work and writing dumb doodles and notes on them

he collects superhero figurines and james is super jealous of his collection

Also I’m a gilderat truther

James-

I headcanon James as Indian (Monty is British and Euphemia is Indian)

James talks with his hands and accidentally karate chops his friends mid conversation all the time

James breaks his glasses like all the time and buys different ones every time he breaks them cause he’s rich and spoiled

I imagine James has a bit of an issue with restrictive eating and over exercising

If you ask him cats vs dogs he genuinely starts hyperventilating because he loves them both equally

James smokes weed sometimes and if we’re in a no voldy au I think him and Evan are weed buddies who get high and stare at the ceiling together all the time

The Valkyries

Dorcas-

I couldn’t decide if she should go with the Valkyries or skittles but I eventually landed on Valkyries because I think that after dating Marlene Dorcas started hanging out with the marauders and Valkyries a lot and after the boys took the mark Dorcas fully joined the Valkyries

Dorcas waited like fifteen minutes for the hat to sort her cause it was stuck between slytherin and gryffindor but it eventually landed on slytherin. however, in her last year she asked to be resorted because of the animosity her house was directing towards her and she was resorted into griffyndor

Dorcas is amazing at doing hair and loves doing her friends’ hair (especially pandora)

Dorcas begs Evan to let her do his hair but he refuses because the only person allowed to do his hair is some random boy in their year who does people’s hair in his dorm in exchange for chocolate frogs

Dorcas is super fashionable but never wears her uniform incorrectly because she’s terrified of losing house points

dorcas will pretty much always be seen with a full face of perfectly done makeup on

Mary-

Mary is super proud of her curls and only ever wears her hair naturally, meaning she spends hours getting her hair perfect every single day (sirius is so jealous of how luscious her curls are)

she basically never wears makeup and is super naturally beautiful but when she does put on makeup it’s FLAWLESS

if she’d lived in modern times she absolutely would’ve been a girl blogger and would’ve had like 100k followers

she loves to act crazy around boys to see how much weird stuff she can say before they decide she’s not pretty enough to keep dating

she paints sirius’s nails all the time and one time she painted remus’s nails and sirius had a stroke

she sews a little heart into the sleeve of her uniform to make it cute and customized

Marlene-

She has a ton of sisters and was kind of neglected by her parents growing up because of how many of them there were. her sisters are all brunette so she bleaches her hair blonde to stand out

marlene sleeps with her eyeliner on and has it on so much that it’s basically merged with her skin and there are eyeliner smudges over like everything she owns

she used to be a huge smoker but had to quit because james forced her to stop once it started impacting her quidditch performance so every time she sees remus smoking (which is basically always) she gets super jealous

her and sirius both practically live in their leather jackets but this weird thing happens where they never wear them at the same time so people started to jokingly theorize that it was the same leather jacket

marlene loves sneaking out of hogwarts (she’s lowkey an adrenaline junky) sometimes she goes to muggle bars and sometimes even muggle protests and before she was dating dorcas she would sneak to a private all girls catholic muggle school and hook up with the girls there

she buys all her candy in cherry flavor because she loves red but her favorite candy flavor is actually blue raspberry

Lily-

she’s way less of a party animal than the other valkyries but they’re friends because she’s still very free spirited, just in a more whimsical way than a trouble making way. that’s why her and pandora get along so well

out of all the valkyries, she’s definitely the one with the most friends outside of their group. Mary knows basically everyone but isn’t really friends with them, but lily has close relationships with all of the marauders (especially remus) and is very close with pandora (romantically, in my opinion) and is friends with various other girls from her year

she thought quidditch was so cool when she first learned about the wizarding world but once she got on a broom for the first time she was TERRIFIED and felt inferior because the non muggle born kids had been practicing flying their whole lives but she had just learned flying existed at all

even though she quickly decided she didn’t want to play quidditch anymore, she still learned how to fly decently because james taught her. and so whenever someone said james was heartless and cruel she thought about james in her first year seeing how sad she was about not being able to fly and deciding he would teach her himself, and it always made her wonder how james could be so kind yet so cruel

she wears her hair in a tight braid most of the time but when she takes it out she has the most majestically magical hair you’ve ever seen