Paranoid Android

btw how big is the tardis. bc it keeps materializing inside of houses so I'm wondering if their ceilings are high as fuck or if the tardis just isn't that big

The earthy smell of rain is one of the most divine scents I’ve ever beheld.

i have a box of bacteria that produce that scent and i sniff it whenever i need to feel something real

is this a personal box of bacteria?

How did you get a box of stinky bacteria

they were part of an abandoned project where people were complaining that giant industrial chicken farms smell like shit (because they are covered in chicken shit) and so it was some scientists’ idea to mix in petrichor-scented bacteria into the chicken litter/manure so the farms would instead smell like grass after the rain. idk why it never took off but the bacteria is mine now and i huff it hard.

Wenn man weiß, nach welchen Gesetzen #dog funktioniert, kann #kakapo niemals und unter keinen Umständen #sheep sheep sheep sein.

Anscheinend bin ich diesem Tumblr auf 08.07.15, 15:30:09 beigetreten.

New Sherlock Holmes adaptation idea: Watsondoes a voiceover narration of the story and it frequently contradicts what’s happening onscreen. Sometimes it’s literally just blatant lies. Watson also frequently looks into the camera like he’s on the office. It’s set in the original Victorian era so this should not be possible. He’s the only character who does this.

my number one woman behavior is saying i’m fine with any pronouns and silently ranking people in my regard based on what they do with that information

This is George Costanza behavior

And they said you couldn’t do Seinfeld in the modern day.

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement

only murders in the building gets ONE season in london and they decide to bring the entire doctor who-broadchurch actor ecosystem into the cast because wdym nicola coughlan, david tennant, jodie whittaker and olivia colman are all in this

it’s what they would have wanted

happy moonwalk day

A big part of being a quadruped is being able to just lie down anytime. Waiting? Loaf time. Talking to someone shorter than you? Loaf time. Falling asleep in the sun? Loaf time. Bored? Loaf it up till something interesting happens. Leg hurt? Loaf time.