you never asked what it was like

I bet for like a fraction of a second getting hit by a bus would feel really good

your honor, in my defense: who cares like omfggggggggg who cares???????????? like. come On

The first rule of sewing is you can fix anything if you have patience, creativity, and a little bit of extra fabric! The second rule of sewing is AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

can everyone get into specifically the things im into in exactly the same way

seeing the “following ✅” icon in ur notifs every so often like and i will wait for the next time u want me… like a dog w a bird at ur door…

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

Took 17 ibuprofen and started seeing the hesitant alien

Male loneliness this, male loneliness that. Have they tried lobotomies? Tranquilizers? Being fingered by medical professionals? Tearing the yellow wallpaper off the walls of the attic room where your husband keeps you locked up?

Forgot to close a parenthesis and now spirits enter me like a waterslide